Mountain lions are very rarely spotted in the wild...
Thatβs because mountain lions aren't spotted, cheetahs are!
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︎ Feb 15 2021
Anyone listened to the mountain joke?
If not u should cause itβs hil-arious
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︎ Jan 24 2021
I enjoyed hiking up mountains, until I arrived at the top.
From there, it's all downhill.
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︎ Jan 10 2021
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is
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︎ Dec 29 2020
A mountain makes the best jokes.
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︎ Feb 01 2021
What did one mountain say to the other after the earthquake?
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︎ Dec 12 2020
The mountains aren't just funny, they're
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︎ Jul 14 2020
The nation of Iran lies between the ancient lands of Babylon to the west and the mountains of Afghanistan to the east...
In other words, itβs between Iraq and a hard place.
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︎ Dec 20 2020
After a long hike to the top of a mountain, my wife asked me, βSo what do you think of The View?β
I said, βWhoopi Goldberg is ok, but I donβt like the other women on the show.β
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︎ Dec 19 2020
Sad to report the death of the founder of Dulux paint. He died this morning from hypothermia on top of a mountain.
It's been reported he could have done with another coat.
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︎ Nov 05 2020
Why couldnβt the peeping tom climb mountains?
Because he always peaked.
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︎ Nov 23 2020
What did the non-binary prospector say when they saw the mountain range?
I bet thereβs gold in them/their hills.
(Shamelessly stolen from danimidwest on tiktok)
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︎ Oct 18 2020
My friend, while driving through the mountains watching the leaves change: I love the winter. All the naked trees.
Me: Yeah, you can see all their knotty parts.
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︎ Oct 25 2020
I live on top of the mountain and i usually have 99 problems
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︎ Sep 26 2020
My rooster is an artist. He draws on plates and I add arms and numbers, but for the life of me I canβt tell if heβs drawing snakes, mountains, teepeeβs, etc., so I finally asked him and he said:
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︎ Aug 26 2020
What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?
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︎ Sep 02 2020
Since this is a βNanaβ tree (common name for Juniperus Procumens Green Mountain Juniper bonsai), it was suggested I have a βbaβ. Therefore, since the stock ticker for Boeing is BA, I bought a toy 787. That means there is now a βbananaβ on the counter.
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︎ Jul 30 2020
I just learned that they're giving away soda in the Swiss mountains.
Apparently there's a guy up there just shouting, "Freeeee Colaaaaa"
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︎ Sep 02 2020
The Himalayas arenβt the best mountains,
But theyβre definitely up there.
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︎ Aug 17 2020
There was once a troop of boy scouts camping in the mountains
Needing to refill on water, they approached a pristine mountain stream. "Surely we don't need to boil THIS water. It's so clear!" they thought. They all got sick.
Never judge a brook by its color.
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︎ Jun 11 2020
What do you call the ride sharing lanes that cut through the mountains?
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︎ Jul 25 2020
What kind of mountains offends the most feminists?
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︎ Jul 14 2020
Ever run out of water in the mountains?
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︎ Jul 11 2020
I can't seem to grow oats or barley, or spelt in the mountains where I live. I guess it's true what they say...
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︎ Apr 04 2020
Girlfriend, my dog and I went hiking today and on the way up the mountain there was a big bee buzzing around my head.
So I said βBee-goneβ and my girlfriend shook her head. Best feeling ever.
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︎ Jun 20 2020
What's the smartest mountain in the world?
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︎ Feb 15 2020
I was walking in the Himalayan mountains when a hairy creature came into view. I was about to snap a picture but it said, "do not take a picture of me at this moment."
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︎ Jan 23 2020
Oops, I went up the wrong mountain
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︎ Nov 30 2019
Why do mountains make the best jokes?
Because they are hill areas!
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︎ Feb 07 2019
Why did the comedians climb the mountain?
Cause they thought it would be hill-arious!!!
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︎ Mar 05 2020
My friend was leading his wild, shaggy-haired ox thru the mountains of central Asia when it projectile vomited all over his feet!
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︎ Apr 14 2020
Once we make it to the top of that mountain...
...itβs all downhill from there
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︎ Apr 01 2020
Did you hear about the guy who drove through the mountain with multiple people in his car?
He had carpool tunnel syndrome.
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︎ Jan 12 2020
To the west is Baghdad and to the east are the Zagros Mountains
Looks like I'm stuck between Iraq and a hard place
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︎ Feb 27 2020
I wanted to teach my goldfish to jump, so I took it to a lake in the mountains
But it turns out spring water is just false advertisement
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︎ Dec 29 2019
The mountain I hated finally left
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︎ Jan 15 2020
I was hiking in the mountains and was attacked by 10 relatives of the rabbit!
It was a hare-y situation, lemme tell ya.
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︎ Dec 31 2019
How do you call the smartest mountain?
The Cleverest!
(My daughter came up with this one, I'm so proud!)
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︎ Jun 06 2019
Why did the Yorkshireman climb the mountain?
Because it was summit to do.
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︎ Nov 11 2019
When Moses came down the mountain he noticed his followers had bad breath.
So he gave them the Ten Commandmints
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︎ Oct 19 2019
What did the mountain climber name his son?
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︎ Nov 04 2019
A criminal in Tokyo, Japan lost the police by escaping to the nearest mountain.
He is now a wanted Fujitive
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︎ Nov 13 2019
Mountains are the best place to get a few laughs.
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︎ Apr 08 2019
I've been caught in light rainstorms while hiking before, but the mountain I was on this weekend was rainier.
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︎ Oct 04 2019
My dad asked me which Super Bowl commercial I liked better, the Doritos one or the Mountain Dew one.
I told him, "It's a tie, dad"
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︎ Feb 21 2018
The mountains arenβt just funny..
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︎ Aug 16 2019
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