There was a lumberjack who moonlighted as a serial killer. He used wood chippers to dispose of the bodies, which is why he was so prolific.

Every once in a while, these guys come out of the woodwork.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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What should be the 2017 Oscars La la Land - Moonlight controversy renamed as?

DilEmma

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πŸ‘€︎ u/engineerwho_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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In addition to fixing customers shoes, the local cobbler moonlighted as a shoe salesman...

He often found old used shoes in thrift stores and re-soled them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
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Danson in the Moonlight youtube.com/watch?v=M0els…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trchappybob
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
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The difference between being under the moonlight and out in the sun...

...is just night and day

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlexMV14
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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Danson in the Moonlight vine.co/v/ebOQPWiXvvv
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trchappybob
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2015
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Village Idiot Puns

Way back when I was a kid, for my school's Renaissance Faire-esque fundraiser, I went around wearing a sign that read "Vilage Idiot". When guests asked why, I'd reply, "I wasn't always the village idiot...

  • β€œI used to be a tailor... but it didn't quite suit me... It was only a so-so job.”
  • β€œI once was a lumberjack... but I couldn't hack it... so they gave me the axe.”
  • β€œI was a fisherman too... I just couldn't live off my net income.”
  • β€œI thought about being a witch for a spell.”
  • β€œI tried being a chef... but I just didn't have enough thyme for it.”
  • β€œI was a musician once... but I didn't accomplish anything noteworthy.”
  • β€œFor awhile I was a doctor... but I didn't have the patience to keep it up.”
  • β€œI once was a accountant... but I lost interest. The job was too taxing.”
  • β€œI tried moonlighting as a nun... but I confess, they didn't like my altar ego... or my bad habits.”
  • β€œMore recently, I was a baker... but I couldn't make enough dough at it... Guess I wasn't bred for the job.”
  • β€œHeck, I was even king for a day... but I didn't have any crowning achievements.”

...And so now, here I am: village idiot, just like my father was. Ah... my father, he was the best village idiot we ever had. It's hard living in his shadow sometimes. You see, my father was a complete idiot! ...I'm just a half-wit.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ason42
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2016
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What do you call a single breast out at night?

🎡mammary, all alone in the moonlight...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gwtkof
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2017
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