The Legend of Calamity Jane Puns

***"Ganon was born out of a dark past. He is a pure embodiment of the ancient evil that is reborn time and time again..."***

Throughout Hyrule's history, the tale of the evil entity has sprouted time and time again. Born of an an ancient curse, some tales say that he once took the form of a Gerudo, but whether that's the case or not he never failed to bring destruction with him. It is also unclear exactly what caused him to take this form, with different translations saying that both his refusal to stop the endless cycle of reincarnation and his determination to stop said cycle triggered it. Either way, it caused any intelligence Ganon once showed to give way to pure hatred and malice. Initially, he was defeated both by the legendary hero and princess alongside a massive amount of Sheikah robots, but upon his revival he was able to best the same machines that had defeated him before and bring about the end of Hyrule. That is, until Princess Zelda finally earned her long awaited power, using it to confine Ganon to Hyrule Castle for 100 years. In the meantime, he can sometimes be seen as a large gaseous boar-like creature, flying around the ruins. But it's only a matter of time until Zelda's power wears out, and when that happens, nothing will stop Ganon from bringing about the true end of the world.

#Physicals

• Strength Throws his spear hard enough to create an air cone around it and embed it in the stone floor of Hyrule Castle
• Strength Can clamber on the walls inside Hyrule Castle
• Durability Falls a considerable distance inside Hyrule Castle
• Durability Has half of his health bar drained after being hit by the combined energy beams of all four Divine Beasts

#Attacks

• Swings at Link with scissor-like blades, a clawed hand, and a small sword
• With a large red sword, creates four lines of fire with one swing and a single, bigger line of fire by slamming it into the ground
  • Can also swing the sword to create tornadoes
• [Can throw his large energy s

My comical world, The Legend of That One, chronicles the lives of my stuffed animals on their home planet. The main character is The Grand High Ancient (the GHA), a teenage stuffed animal fish who is playing a simulation universe-building video game that he rented from a video store. He has gone into the game and become so invested that he never leaves. The entire story takes place inside the game, focused on the idyllic starter world of Ancientia. These are the three great calamities that have befallen Ancientia.

Calamity #1: The Character Customization Debacle - The GHA began a game and built a civilization of stuffed animals on Ancientia. These animals, called the Ancients, became his best friends. At some point, he decided that he did not like his character customization and wanted something flashier. He deleted the game and restarted. After the restart, the GHA realized that the friends are randomized and that he could not get the same ones he had before. In his current game, the GHA spends countless hours traveling the universe, trying to find the randomized friends he lost on the original Ancientia. This search has become the point of the game for him while managing the entire rest of the universe is just a side job. None of the friends in the game know about the restart and the GHA's endless search until he finds and tells them. The irony is that later on, the GHA would come to realize that he could recustomize his appearance without restarting the game.

Calamity #2: The Ruin of Old Ancientia - Bitter after the loss of his friends (but looking quite fabulous!) the GHA decided to create a human world instead of a stuffed animal world. The GHA built a vast civilization of humans on Ancientia, with bustling cities and ever-expanding nations. He grew bored with the constant wars, and decided that not only did he dislike like the layout, but that humans were kind of a stupid race. Having learned from The Character Customization Debacle, the GHA opted to terraform the entire world instead of restarting. All the humans were killed and their cities buried. The current version of Ancientia, on which the GHA searches endlessly for his lost stuffed animal friends, is built on top of the wreckage of the dead human civilization. This dark chapter in the history of Ancientia was unknown to its stuffed animal denizens until the unearthing of several sites of human ruins.

**Calamity #3: The Unexpected And Destructive Arrival Of Humans And Things Muc

This is my first post on this sub, and I figured I would come up with a prompt for us Nintendo fans. My question is simple: can Paper Mario (as he appear in TTYD) defeat Calamity Ganon? First, let's set up some ground rules:

• Assume the Crystal Stars have the same effect on Ganon as on the Shadow Queen, making it prone to normal attacks including for the killing blow
• Assume that Paper Mario's HP and damage are scaled up to match the damage system of BotW (as TTYD uses smaller values) and that Mario is at a relatively normal state for him to face the Shadow Queen (let's say 40 HP/FP and 15 BP before scaling)
• Mario has access to all of his partners (upgraded once), but only one at a time
• Mario does not have access to the Return Postage, Mega Rush, or Mega Rush P badges
• Mario has access to 2 Ultra Shrooms, 2 Jammin' Jellies, and 1 Life Shroom
• Assume a 90% Guard rate and a 50% Super Guard rate
• Calamity Ganon's invincibility state can be removed with either a Wonderful/Excellent use of Supernova or a Super Guard on the laser
• Calamity Ganon is at full health (no Divine Beasts), but Mario need not fight the individual Scourges first

With all of that being said, here are the rounds:

R1: Turn-based combat, identical to that of TTYD

R2: Open world combat, similar to that of Botw

R3-R4: Same as R1 and R2, respectively, but in Master Mode

I hope this is a good addition to this sub, and I hope it will spark some interesting conversations (hopefully I made this reasonably balanced). Let me know what you think, and thanks for reading!

#Default

>サーヴァント・ユニヴァースからやってきた、 陽気でマイペースなスペース☆チアガール。
>新しいもの大好きで、難しいコトはあまり考えない。
>どのくらい考えないかと言うと、昨日の恨みも一昨日の借りもキレイさっぱり忘れるくらい。
> 
>「え、ケータイ、岩のすき間に落としちゃった？. >まっかせて！　とりあえず発破かけてみよっか☆」
> 
>うーん、このハッピー脳。
>昔は宇宙でも指折りの斥候（スカウト）職だったとか。

 

A lively space☆cheer girl from the Servant Universe who does things at her own pace.

She loves new things and doesn't ponder much about difficult things.

If one had to say to what extent she refrains from thinking about such things: she cleanly and simply forgets the grudges from yesterday and the loans from the day before yesterday.

 

「Eh? You dropped your phone in a gap between boulders?

Leave it to me! For starters, let's blow it up, shall we☆」

 

Well, you see, this happy-go-lucky idiot.

She used to be the best scout in the cosmos.

#Bond 1

> 身長／体重：168cm・60kg
>出典：史実
>地域：サーヴァント・ユニヴァース
>属性：混沌・中庸
>性別：女性
>「なんかよく分からないけど、そっちの宇宙だと マーサ・ジェーン・カナリーっていうのが真名なんだって！
>ヒュー、そっちのわたしカッコイ───！」

Height/Weight: 168cm/60kg
Source: Historical fact
Region: Servant Universe
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Gender: Female

"I don’t really don’t, but in that universe my True Name is Martha Jane Canary!
Wew, that version of me is so cool───!"

#Bond 2

>史実ではアメリカ・西部開拓時代の斥候、ガンマン。
>いわゆるアウトローではないが功績の誇張・真偽不明な主張が多く、存命当時も毀誉褒貶に満ちた生涯を送った。前向きな性格の割にdebuffer的スキルが多いのはその二面性に基づく。
>災厄を自らの名とし、ビリー・ザ・キッドと同時代を生きたアメリカ西部の人物。
>銃の名手であり、優秀な斥候であり、『平原の王者』ワイルド・ビル・ヒコックの恋人であり、共に死地を駆け抜けた戦友として『平原の女王』の二つ名を冠された。
> 
>災厄（カラミティ）の名を得たのは、先住民に襲われた騎兵隊を救出したという伝説による『災厄の救い手』であるという説と、恋人が戦いの中で常に命を落とすという『災厄を呼ぶ女』であるという説があり、どちらの伝説も真実だ、とする説もある。

 

According to historical fact, she was a scout and gunman in the American Frontier.

She wasn’t a so-called outlaw, but there are many exaggerated achievements and dubious claims about her, and she also led a life full of public criticism while she was alive. Possessing several debuffer skills in comparison to her positive personality is based on that dual nature.

An individual from the West who took Calamity as her name and lived in the same period as Billy the Kid.

As a master of firearms; an excellent scout and the lover of the "Ruler of the Plains", Wild Bill Hickok with whom they got through many near death experience, she was crowned with the alias "Queen of the Plains".

&

Account is on Heretical Salem and has

• 17SSR, 44 SR
• Space Ishtar, Scathach, Merlin, Tamamo no Mae, Zhuge Liang, Minamoto no Raikou, Okita Alter, Summer BB, Jack the Ripper
• Calamity Jane, Summer Medb, Summer Helena Blavatsky, Summer Anne Bonny & Mary Read, Summer Raikou, Summer Carmilla, Consort Yu, Heracles, Mysterious Heroine XX
• Birthday set
• 136,513,142
• https://imgur.com/a/WXHpKYt

PM me questions and offers. Paypal only.

Death & Co. currently has a cocktail called Calamity Jane, which they describe as:

• Buffalo Trace Bourbon
• Laphroaig Single Malt
• Blanc Vermouth
• Strawberry
• Olive Oil

I loved it and I'm trying to recreate it at home. Presumably any good bourbon and peaty single malt would work. Is the "blanc" important? I've never tried it (vs. dry white vermouth). I assume the strawberry is muddled first. How much olive oil? A few drops? What does that add? Thanks in advance!

literally struggling, i wanna be able to get hella arrows but don't know how to rack up money right now because i forgot where you can find super rare gems. i'm not sure which arrows are most effective for ganon, but i will use the master sword as my melee, and i'm thinking of wearing ancient armour for his specific beam attacks. any thoughts or advice?

There seems to be alot of myth and conjecture about her. The only reliable thing i can find about her is that she acted as a nurse in Deadwood.

Did she serve as a scout under General Custer? Did she know him personally? What exactly would she have done in that capacity? Also what was the exact nature of her relationship with Wild Bill? Sometimes they barely knew eachother and other times they were very close.

And book recommendations would be great.

Account is on Heretical Salem and has

• 17SSR, 44 SR
• Space Ishtar, Scathach, Merlin, Tamamo no Mae, Zhuge Liang, Minamoto no Raikou, Okita Alter, Summer BB, Jack the Ripper
• Calamity Jane, Summer Medb, Summer Helena Blavatsky, Summer Anne Bonny & Mary Read, Summer Raikou, Summer Carmilla, Consort Yu, Heracles, Mysterious Heroine XX
• Birthday set
• 136,513,142
• https://imgur.com/a/WXHpKYt

PM me questions and offers. Paypal only.