My wife said, “I don’t understand the science behind human cloning.”
I said, “That makes two of us.”
I built a catapult that can send a human from the USA all the way to Africa
What country you end up in depends on the Angola approach
One of my buddies asked me if I could find out what the largest organ in the human body was.
So I googled and told him exactly what I found.
Basically a skin for a friend.
which bone of the human body is the funny bone?
One of the Russian acrobats in our human pyramid has been deported.
We don't have Oleg to stand on.
What did the fish say to the human
Introducing the fauna of the human body
The Mama Roach asked "What will happen to us if that human sprays us with Raid?"
The Papa Roach replied "Suffocation. No breathing."
So I read a study the other day claiming that “humans eat more bananas than monkeys”
Which to me sounded a bit obvious. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
If I discovered a new element that is slightly denser than the human body.
I would name it hooman, so people could ask are we hooman or are we denser?
Did you hear about the human cannon-ball?
If humans were trees, how deep would the roots be ?
What do you call the time period between the Bronze and Iron Ages where humans learned to cure meat?
Whats the difference between a human and an animal?
You can legally put down one
We are doing a jigsaw puzzle of the human anatomy, and I hid the upper arm.
Nobody else finds this humerus.
I think the flu is tired of humans
He said "I'm sick of you all"
Did you hear about the human cannonball? Too bad he got fired!
The World Health Organizatuon has discovered that Coronavirus cannot be transmitted between dogs and humans. They have released all quarantined dogs.
To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
On average, a panda feeds for approximately 12 hours a day. It’s the same with humans under quarantine.
That’s why it’s called a “Pandemic”.
How many bones are in the human hand?
What human body part is long, hard, bendable, most useful when erect, and contains the letters p,n,e,s,i?
My son is now at that age where he's curious about the human body.
I guess I'll have to hide it somewhere else now.
The news always reports on violations of human rights
But what about their lefts?
I know an archaeologist who found a human leg bone during an excavation. The other archaeologists got excited and went over to help him.
Turned out to be quite the shin dig.
The orthopedic surgeon finally found his model of the human wrist behind an old box of golf tees
I guess you could say he couldn’t see the faux wrist for the tees.
3 engineers were arguing about who designed the human body
1: it has to be a CompSci engineer, judging by the brain’s complexity
2: you’re wrong, it was a Mechanics engineer, look at the muscle and skeleton systems working as one
3: you’re both wrong, it was an Urban Planner, otherwise waste and entertainment areas wouldn’t be adjacent.
No matter how we pitched the human organs to the other team, they'd swing and miss...
They didn't even bat an eye.
Someone should remake The Human Centipede with cats.
You can call it "Caterpillar"
In the future it will be possible to incubate humans in artificial uteri. If you want yours in the one by the window, it will be more expensive.
After all, it always costs more for a womb with a view.
What’s the human psychology behind all this toilet paper hoarding?
How did the humans die?
They used so much toilet paper they wiped themselves out
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.
Mary Pill Poppins Pharmaceutical just created a miracle drug that can cure any human of any disease. It's effectiveness is renowned while it's side effects are surprisingly minimal: thick layer of skin develops on the lips while rendering them dry, cracked and quite odorous.
Patients effected by this claim it's super callused fragile lips that smell like halitosis
The same is true for humans.
Someone told me there was nothing funny about the human skeleton
I said "there's a couple humerous things"
At the end of the day, we’re all Human Beans.
And together, we will rice.
Lettuce Pray.
Ramen.
Archimedes was sat around thinking of names for the fluid expulsion tube in the human body. Suddenly, he knew the perfect name, stood up, and shouted-
My wife said, “I don’t quite understand the science behind human cloning.”
Me: That makes two of us.
So, I read a study the other day claiming that "humans eat more bananas than monkeys".
Which - to me - sounded a bit obvious. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Which is the funniest bone in the human body?
One of the Russian acrobats in our human pyramid has broke his back.
We didn’t have Oleg to stand on.
The news always reports on violations of human rights
But what about their lefts?
Her: I have no idea how the science behind human cloning works.
Me: That makes two of us.
My wife said, “I don’t really understand the theory behind human cloning.”
Me: That makes two of us.
How many bones are in the human hand?
At the end of the day we're all human beans
And together, we will rice!
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
