A list of puns related to "The Grey"
Dijon vu
I guess I'm just collar blind.
Thanks Michael Scott.
Truly, brewed tea was in the eye of the bee-holder.
It was the Grey Test of all time.
Dad cuts in and replies "she hasn't had a chance to go yet, she's been tied up".
"For tea, two" the barista responded.
He just said "Oh, the hue manatee."
I guess you could call it a boo-tea call.
Or else you will get baby Grey tea.
An awful one from my dad
You know...Whipped
Why is there grey poop on the mustard? Because they got it from Dijon!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
What’s brown and sounds like a bell?
What’s green and smells like red paint?
Whats red and bad for your teeth
I was diagnosed with colour blindness today,
Colours making a phone call... Green green, green green....Yellow!
What colour is the wind
What’s grey and can’t fly
Food truck with eggs being the theme in every dish.
"The Poach Coach"
Popular dishes:
Dammit, why can't I be grey or brown like all the other seals?
The would-be mentor insisted on going to a seafood restaurant and then he ordered his favorite meal for the both of them. When the hard working, fresh-out-of-journalism-school grad asked the veteran newshound how he always managed to get witty phrases from the Prime Ministers and Presidents he interviewed, a sly smile swam across his face.
Intrigued, she watched intently while he reached for his wallet then removed a €5 note. Holding it toward her face over the table, she was surprised when the greying beat writer dropped the money directly on her uneaten dinner and held an index finger to his closed lips.
As they both looked down at the seafood platter, his paper Euro was suddenly sucked under the rings of fried calamari until it disappeared from sight. After what sounded like a stand-up comedian clearing his throat, a male voice with an Eastern European accent clearly rose out of her food. It said, "Trump asked for dirt on Biden so I sent him some good Ukrainian topsoil."
As the gobsmacked gal with mouth agape slowly raised her eyes to her grinning dinner guest's face, he shrugged his shoulders and said, "squid pro quote".
Required Explanation: "squid pro quote" is a play on words for the saying "quid pro quo", a Latin phrase meaning "something for something". In the news at the time of this posting a tremendous amount of discussion is being circulated about whether or not US president Trump dangled a quid pro quo offer in front of Ukraine's newly elected president, Volodymyr Zelensky. The deal had nothing to do with seafood however, so that was just a red herring. It should also be noted that Mr. Zelensky, before diving into politics, was a stand-up comedian.
I told her i don't remember seeing her grey card the first time.
Hi pun-masters!
I will share my life with a cat, starting Saturday! It’s a grey\white Maine coon male.
The thing is that I love puns, and when I saw the cat called « Sean Coonery », I thought it was adorable!
I’m not that good in finding right puns, and I was wondering if people wouldn’t mind helping me a little!
I live in Montreal, so it can be either English or French!
Thanks in advance!
He orders nothing, and instead just sits down at the bar and begins reading a newspaper.
“What’ll it be?” Asked the bartender.
“Nothing.” Replied the communist, his face concealed behind the newspaper.
“You don’t want anything?” Said the bartender.
“No!” Replied the communist.
“Look,” said the bartender “you can’t just sit at the bar and read without ordering anything. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
“Do you know who I am?” Asked the communist, as he slowly lowered the newspaper, revealing combed back black and grey hair, a large, bushy mustache, and a neatly kept Officer uniform with two gold stars pinned to the left breast.
The bartender stepped back, shocked. “Well now you’re just Stalin!”
He believes there’s nothing like the greyed-out doors.
A crocodile's back, on the other hand, really isn't a good thing to ride on.
But an elephant's back? Well... that's a grey area.
My dad said this last summer. We were in Mexico, and there was huge flocks of birds swarming above us that day. My stepmom was out on our little porch, reading fifty shades of grey. Suddenly she storms in all huffy and goes up to my dad who was in the kitchen.
Dad: What's up with you?
Stepmom: A fucking bird SHAT on my book! Look! (Sure enough, there was.)
My dad, without missing a beat: Well why are you complaining? Now you got an extra shade of grey!
Wife: wear the blue-grey hylete instead.
Me: but I like the brown one so I'm gonna wear that. See abigail (our daughter) is wearing pink and white, you're wearing purple and grey and I'm wearing brown.
Me: This way people know I'm the shit in this family!
Wife then proceeded to rolls eyes while I laughed.
"Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that have a love for the use of words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless." A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held every year in an undisclosed location. This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.
Here goes...
.. When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
.. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
.. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
.. The batteries were given out free of charge.
.. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
.. A will is a dead giveaway.
.. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
.. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
.. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
.. Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
.. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.
.. A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
.. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
.. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
.. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
.. When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
.. Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
And the cream of the twisted crop:
.. Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
[discussing via text what movie to see this weekend]
her (sarcastically): Let's see 50 Shades of Grey.
me: haha I almost jokingly suggested the same thing to you.
her: GREY minds think alike!
me: Auuuugghhhhhhhh
(A bit of context first, but you can skip this paragraph if you want). An hour or so ago, I was playing a div 1 co-ed soccer game. Since our captain wasn't there, I was the one talking to the ref, signing the game sheet, providing the game ball, and all that. At some point during the game, one of our guys shot the ball and it rebounded off, giving us a corner. However, none of our guys were going to get the ball as if they thought it was the other team's ball. I yelled at my team "Guys, it's our corner!"
The ref turned to me and laughed, and said "They need to concentrate". I said "No kidding, huh?" He then turned to me with a pre-dadjoke smile and asked me "Why didn't the orange juice pass its exam? ... It couldn't concentrate."
It was in that moment that I knew this grey haired, bearded man was a father of at least one child. He didn't even look back for a reaction, he just turned with his dad smile, knowing full well that the joke has merit enough on its own regardless of a reaction.
We were both in a giddy mood because of how bad the movie was. It was more comical than anything else. This was the highlight of the night.
Christian Grey: "What are you doing for breakfast tomorrow." I lean over and whisper to my gf: "Eating breakfast" smh!
Hated the movie, but felt super proud of myself!
When Gandalf reveals himself in The Two Towers, we were all commenting on how he was the white wizard.
Me: "he's not Gandalf the Grey anymore!"
Dad: "he's now Wandalf the White!"
Context: We were talking about our company, which is ridiculously cheap.
Him: [Company], building stereotypes. That's their new slogan.
Me: I like it! Sell it to our CEO, I'm sure it'll fly.
Him: Naw, he takes the grey gound
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