What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

Breathe, damn it! Breathe!

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Red light say to the Green light?

Don't look at me I'm changing!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/red_snake0329
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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Why couldn't the green pepper practice archery?

because It didn't habenero . .

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drewzee0109
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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Not many fans are allowed in the stadium for Green Bay’s game today. It will be like

Silence of the Lambeau

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πŸ‘€︎ u/afarro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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The Green Landon.
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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What is the fruit that is green on the outside and red with black seeds on the inside, the name start with an H

Half a watermelon

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

Breathe grandpa, or they will have to put you in the box! (Raisin joke on top)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoyUnMalaleche
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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Why was the color green always single?

It was always so jaded.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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Why did the Marxist only drink green tea?

Because all proper tea is theft!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adidassamba
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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Did you hear about the mischievous green onion that sang hip hop?

He was a real rapscallion.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrefoilHat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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The hardware store just told me they didn’t have any intermediate paint colors between green and violet.

That was out of the blue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Green Giant lay down in the field?

So he could Rest in Peas.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OilPhilter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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Introducing the new rhyme speaking Green Onion with the super tight back beat! Please welcome the one! The only---

Rapscallion!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Since this is a β€œNana” tree (common name for Juniperus Procumens Green Mountain Juniper bonsai), it was suggested I have a β€œba”. Therefore, since the stock ticker for Boeing is BA, I bought a toy 787. That means there is now a β€œbanana” on the counter.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaceyGayGuy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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Action figures without the Little Green Army Man footplate:

I can't stand them.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/errsta
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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My 10 year old daughter just told me this one. "What did the green grape say to the purple grape?"

"Breathe you idiot, BREATHE!"

I've never been so proud.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iwuzwhatiwuz
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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Damn we just missed the green light, this is gonna be heavy!

Because it will be a Full Wait

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dartis_X-UI
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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Just bought a diamond ring for the Wife from a green Leprechaun. I dunno...

...Think I was sold a sham rock.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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TIL the color magenta doesn't exist, it is your brain trying to make sense of your red and blue cones activating while the green is inactive.

Turns out, it's a pigment of your imagination

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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What is the name of the skinny brother of green?

Light green

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mukundmadhav
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
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The grocery stores are bare right now besides some greens.

Only the lettuce romaine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thrillho333
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
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Why did the jolly green giant get arrested

He took a pea in public

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tpatt83
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
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I was recently diagnosed as being colourblind, it really came out of the green.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jay2235
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
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The fact that everything we see in monitors is made up of only red, green and blue is amazing. I suppose you could say...

They RGBees knees

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spudzzy03
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard the mischievous new artist MC Green Onion?

Also goes by the name 'Rapscallion'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reyean
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
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What is green and lays in the forrest

Kermit the log

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vvdb_industries
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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The Green New Deal now has Dadjokes as a major pillar

We are the foremost experts in recycling!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/qmechan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
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Who else eats bread with the white and green spots?

Edit: Thanks for the mold kind stranger

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crixzly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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What do the green aliens from planet express order when they’re at the bar?

Duclawwwwwwwww

Edit: **Pizza Planet. Coffee had not kicked in yet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timmyb55
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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The national news did a story on my friend's bumper crop of green citrus fruits...

He loves being in the limelight.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

BREATH!!

Edit: breathe..dammit

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

"Breathe damn it, breathe!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

BREATHE! JUST BREATHE!

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoyUnMalaleche
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

BREATHE, YOU IDIOT!! BREATHE!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theroutesetters
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the green grape say to the purple grape

Breathe idiot, breathe!

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the green pepper practice archery

Because it didn't habanero

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kingbob1500
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

Breathe!

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the Green Pepper practice Archery?

because it didn't habanero

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/behrkon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?

Because it didn't habanero.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?

Because it didn't habanero.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jcnet1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

Breathe you fool breath

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/henry_BDM
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the green pepper practice archery?

. . . because it didn't habanero!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudebrostien
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Green grape say to the Purple grape?

"BREATH MAN, BREATH!!!'

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danspud69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the green grape say to the purple grape ??

BREATHE !!!!

Edit: spelling

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fireworkbox
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

BREATHE YOU IDIOT, BREATHE!

πŸ‘︎ 945
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AVeryLONGPotato
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the Red light say to the Green light?

Don't look at me I'm changing!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report

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