A list of puns related to "The Green Mile"
This is a compilation from the internet, and a few I made or heard myself. Hope you laugh!
^((Elephant Jokes were a thing from the 1960s. You can read about them on Wikipedia.))
^((Each section should be read all at once, in order. Some sections also reference previous sections. ))
Q: Why did the elephant run from the mouse?
A: Because it had a bazooka.
Q: Why did the mouse chase the elephant?
A: To steal the bazooka.
Q: Why did the elephant paint its toenails red?
A: So it could hide in a cherry tree.
Q: Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
A: Works, doesn't it?
Q: How can you tell if an elephant is hiding in a cherry tree?
A: Tickle the cherries and see if they laugh.
Q: What's the loudest sound in the jungle?
A: A giraffe eating cherries.
Q: How can you tell if there have been elephants in your fridge?
A: There are footprints in the custard.
Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails yellow?
A: That's not paint, it's custard.
Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red, blue, green, orange, yellow, and brown?
A: So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.
Q: How did the mouse break his back?
A: He tried to carry a bag of M&Ms home from the store.
Q: How do you get an elephant on top of an oak tree?
A: Stand him on an acorn and wait fifty years.
Q: What if you don't want to wait fifty years?
A: Parachute him from an airplane.
Q: Why isn't it safe to climb oak trees between 1 and 2 in the afternoon?
A: Because that is when the elephants practice their parachute jumping.
Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the oak tree?
A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the oak tree?
A: It was glued to the first one.
Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the oak tree?
A: It thought it was a game.
Q: And why did the oak tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant.
Q: Why is it dangerous to walk in the forest between 3 and 4 in the afternoon?
A: That's when the elephants fall out of the oak trees.
Q: What is a furry alligator?
A: A bear that crossed the woods at 3:30 in the afternoon.
Q: How can you tell if there’s an elephant under your bed?
A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.
Q: How can you tell if there's an elephant in your bed?
A: He has a big 'E' on hi
... keep reading on reddit ➡The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.
Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!
Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.
What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!
Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.
How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!
No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
What musical is about a train conductor? “My Fare, Lady”.
A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
What animals are on legal documents? Seals!
Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!
Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.
Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!
How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!
Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Dockyard: A physician’s garden.
What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!
The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.
“What’s purple and 5000 miles long?” “Ooh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”
Every calendar’s days are numbered.
This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Four bucks,” says the bartender. “Put it on my bill.”
I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!
When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is
... keep reading on reddit ➡Jeff went to his local train station and begged for the job. He got a job, as a janitor. Every day he swept the train car floors. To make his job easier, he added certain style to his sweeping technique. He used a 3 level system for how powerful he wanted to sweep. He had a small sweep for small piles of dust. Medium sweeps for leftover chip bags and plactic bottles. And the Super Mega Large sweeps for when there were spider webs as big as the train.
Jeff was a master sweeper, so he got Promoted!.. To hobo kicking. Nowadays he comes to the train station early in the morning, finds the nearest hobo, and kicks him out. However, Jeff's legs hurt after several strong kicks, so he used his 3 level system in hobo kicking. He had a small kick for tiny, bite sized hobos. Medium kicks for your average sized hobo. And his Super Mega Powerful kick for 300 pound hobos.
Jeff was sooooo good at kicking hobos and he was Promoted!.. to coal shoveling. Jeff arrives 20 minutes before his train departure, loads up with the conductor, and shovels coal. likewise with his legs, Jeff's arms got tired after several large piles of shoveled coal, so he used his 3 level system to rest Jeff's weak arms. Jeff dumps small piles of coal in the incinerator to send the train at a slow pace. He dumps a Medium pile for a somewhat fast pace. But when the train station's 30 miles away and he's scheduled to arrive in 7 minutes, Jeff uses his Big Gargantuan Humongous shoveling strength to send the train at super sonic speed!
After all of Jeff's many years of working for this train station, they finally promote him to Train Conductor! Jeff shows up to work 30 minutes early on his first day, conducts the train for his first time ever, and crashes the train. He injures 30 and kills 13 more. Jeff is sentenced to Death.
The day of Jeff's execution, he's asked for his last meal. Jeff tells the guard that he wants a 13 foot stack of pancakes and a 40 ounce jug of green Kool-Aid. Jeff takes exactly 34 minutes to eat with it all. 26 Mintues later, Jeff is taken to the electric chair.
Jeff sits down in the electric chair, and is strapped in by a nearby guard. After all the safety precautions, they turn on the electric chair.
BZZZZZZ
Nothin happened. The guard is confused and Jeff is confused. The guard trys it again.
BZZZZZZ
Nothing. Jeff doesn't even move a muscle. The guard decides to let Jeff go since he can't kill him. Before Jeff leaves, the guard has one question.
Guard : "Excuse me um, J
... keep reading on reddit ➡Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.