The Flea Puns

Well that’s bazaar, I thought.

I tell them the answer is simple...Toboggan!

He stole the show

I told her careful it might be a sham

“I hope it doesn’t flee.”

Because they were hair-ticks

One howls on the prairie and the other prowls on the hairy.

http://imgur.com/OfH9PlI

One says, “I think I’ll hop home. What about you?”

The other flea replies, “No, I’m too tired. I think I’ll itch hike.”

One makes your ghosts flee and the other makes your fleas ghosts.

So My Cat Had A Bug In Him And I Asked Him Where He Got It And He Said The Flea Market!

• Pretending to pick fleas out of my kids hair and then eating them.
• Waving back at people who clearly aren't waving at me.
• Intentionally missing a high five.
• Pressing the car horn when I'm in the passenger seat and the teenager is driving slowly past other people.
• Answering "Yes dear" in a falsetto voice when one of the kids yells for mum.

What else have you got?

They're calling it the Flea Market

“Let’s flee!” Said the fly,

“Let’s fly!” Said the flea,

And they flew through a flaw in the flue...

The flea market

At the PAWn shop

Alternatively: The FLEA market

I just remembered a story about my dad from when I was a kid and figured you guys would appreciate it.

We were on a vacation/road trip. My mom wanted to stop at some big flea market on our way out. My sister and I had never been to a flea market before. My dad knew we didn't know what to expect. When we arrived my dad told us to stand outside the car before we went in. He walked over to us and told us to lift our arms. He brought out some bug spray. He sprayed our arms and legs. My sister and I had no idea what was going on. He looked at us, completely serious, "for the fleas", he says. Never laughed or mentioned it again.

So my brother in law goes shopping with his future father in law, and the future father in law (FFIL?) buys a used putter at a flea market.

My wife: "why'd he buy a putter?"

My bro in law: "He's having a snake problem. The idea is to get the snakes around the end of the putter."

My wife: "What are you supposed to do once you have a snake on a putter?"

Me: "Try to put a hole in one."

My dad spots the sign and goes: "They say that, but they never sell any fleas there.."

I was in the car with my two cousins, and I just couldn't stop giggling like a schoolgirl...

Background: My SO and I were at a flea market in LA the other day where there were food trucks scattered about. The one we chose to eat at specialized in grilled cheese (my favorite food). They had a sign saying they would cater special events... I asked how far of a radius they would travel. Cheese Griller: We actually have a few trucks between here and Texas. Me: None in North Carolina? Cheese Griller: Nope. Me: Well... are you looking for any francheesors?

SO immediately disowned me and walked away.

"Oh my god! Did you see that?! I almost hit that flea in the road!"

About 5 years ago my dad seen a fellow vendor at a flea market with a monkey wearing a diaper on her shoulder. My dad says , " Ma'am , that's a ugly baby you have." For 5 years and counting the lady hasn't brought her monkey back and gives him a "go to hell look" every sunday.