What's the difference between a rock thrown at you and a crazy girlfriend?
It doesn't hurt when the rock misses you.
Your uncle had some really crazy reasons for joining the railroad.
Recently, I've been driving my wife crazy with how many friends named Fred I've been making, and they all look the same, no less. That said, one day a man rang our bell, and my wife, relieved that he did not look like my other friends, asked who he was, to which a replied:
"Don't worry, Honey, he's just another Fred of mine."
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV
What was Ozzy Osborne’s inspiration for writing the song Crazy Train?
The 2020 boating expo was crazy
Drives me crazy when people keep repeating the same dad joke
This has been a crazy year. After everything that has happened though do you want to know the one thing that I can’t get over ?
It’s crazy, all these people running these virtual races, starting all over the place.
Where do we draw the line?
With the crazy year 2020 has been, if Trump wins again would it be... arMAGAddon?
The Sykes-Picot Agreement is so crazy
I mean, it's borderline insane.
Why did the crazy Mexican jump on the train?
Why was the broken door crazy?
How did the crazy people find their way out of the woods ?
They followed the psycho path
Why did the crazy Mexican kill people on trains?
My family has been getting stir crazy. So we decided to take our son to the local zoo. Problem is, it’s a small zoo. They only have one animal. It’s a dog.
A guy just went crazy at my local dumpling house and destroyed the place.
He's been charged with wonton destruction.
The queues outside the cemetery are crazy.
People are dying to get in there.
Sitting in the ER with my son last night, he got me with this one. I was trying to lift his spirits and was pointing out all the crazy equipment they have in the room. I said "Oh look. They have tongue depressers." He says "Those won't work on me." I asked why and he says...
"I'm on antidepressants."
He's going in for surgery at 3:30pm Pacific. All your positive thoughts and prayers are appreciated.
Edit: Thank you all for the kind words and omg for the gold! He's out of surgery and looks to be recovering nicely. All your well wishes helped cheer him and his parents up.
Warned my son about the dangers of drugs today. Told him a story about a girl I knew who went crazy from doing mushrooms all the time. Surprised, he asked, "Really?" I replied, "Yes, absolutely true."
"She became a little spore addict."
The Lego store near me just opened up again and it was crazy!
People were lined up for blocks!
Mikhail Gorbachev started an anti-alcohol campaign in USSR in 1980s. People went crazy because of the restrictions on selling of alcohol. An old Soviet joke went like this:
“A disaffected and angry citizen, fed up of standing in lines for vodka, decided to go assassinate Gorbachev. He soon came back and ruefully reported that the lines to assassinate Gorbachev were even longer than the lines for vodka.”
My son went crazy running around the neighborhood breaking small twigs in everyone's yard one night...
Why did the train conductor commit a crazy crime?
Because he had a Loco-motive
The first person to farm with manure must have been seen as crazy
They probably had to explain their bullshit
What do you call a person really crazy about the moon
I was trying to get help for my mental health issues, but the guy helping me turned out to be completely crazy
He was a psycho therapist
Daddy, is the world crazy?
I don't know son, but I do know it is bipolar.
Do you know about the crazy pancake?
Really! The one that flips.....
How do crazy people cross the forest?
They take the psycho-path
Just saw the star of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend preform in London for the first and (maybe) only time.
It was a 'once in Bloom moon' experience.
Sometimes I think about becoming a mallard to do all the evil crazy stuff I can think of.
But that's no way to conduck myself
I went to a concert last night and the musicians were bouncing around the stage like crazy.
Turns out they were an elastic band.
It's crazy how equestrians think they're so much better than the rest of us.
Get off your high horse, man.
Did you hear about the engineer who had a crazy reasoning for doing something?
How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psychopaths.
This gave me a needed chuckle. Found it here: https://entertainyourtoddler.com/best-jokes-for-kids/
Sister-in-law: "We saw thousands of ducks this morning! They were swooping all over the place, acting crazy!"
Me: "I guess you could say it was a...cluster duck."
How does a crazy person find their way out of the wilderness?
They just take the pyscho path
You know what Confucius says about the crazy guy on the toilet?
Man who stand on toilet, high on pot.
Did you hear about the crazy hunter that traded in his bow for sword?
It turns out he was de-ranged.
Why did the crazy guy steal a train?
He just had a loco motive.
How do crazy people get through the woods?
They take the psycho path.
How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path!
Did you hear about the road where all the crazy people go?
Apparently its a psycho path
How do crazy people cross the forest ?
They take the psycho-path
How do crazy people travel through the woods?
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