The Columns Puns

A list of puns related to "The Columns"

The seating columns at my church are going through a period of awkward changes...

***Pew***berty, in other words.

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👤︎ u/TheMightyBattleSquid
📅︎ Dec 12 2020
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Why was the man frustrated at the ballpoint pens sorted in columns?

Because he preferred things arranged by row.

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👤︎ u/RNGJesus69
📅︎ Jul 14 2019
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Why did Ben-Hur (1959) "excel" as a film?

Because of all the columns and rows!

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👤︎ u/mehatch
📅︎ Oct 23 2020
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Apparently Bilbo Baggins has died.

I saw it in the hobbituary column

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👤︎ u/cotswoldboy
📅︎ Oct 18 2019
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Got a twofer on the wife today.

Driving into work, we see a vehicle with stickers for oars/boats on it placed in a horizontal manner.

Wife: "Looks like that guy likes to row."

Me: "Huh. I prefer columns myself."

Wife: (groan) "So, you like to column?"

Me: "Yeah, on the phone. I leave a message if I can't get a hold of 'em."

Wife: (GROAN) "You're the worst...but I love you."

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👤︎ u/zero44
📅︎ Mar 23 2015
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Dad told me this one a few years back.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in hand, column connected to the crotch of his pants.

Bartender says "isn't that steering wheel bothering ya, buddy?"

And the pirate goes "yarr, it's drivin' me nuts"

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👤︎ u/abchiptop
📅︎ Feb 05 2014
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(x-post from /r/pics) Dad Joke in Self-Written Obituary

http://i.imgur.com/TAQtabb.jpg

Check out the third column, first full paragraph.

Original post: http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/201xze/in_honor_of_my_fantastic_grandfather_who_passed/

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👤︎ u/bugzzzz
📅︎ Mar 10 2014
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