Do you know why table cloths are the work of the devil?
Because they are made of satin
Ba-dum-tssss
The guy who colors the cloth quit my uncle's factory without warning.
This is an image of an obese, yet philosophical man of the cloth.
Taking over the universe with cloth
Accidentally used a dirty cloth to try and clean the table.
I had to give an impromptu speech on a piece of cloth that encircles the wrist...
I spoke off the cuff on the cuff.
Did you hear about the reused cloth label group?
They are the real rag tag team.
What do you call the small piece of cloth that is in charge of all your cravings?
I got cloth napkins for the holidays. They’re a pun goldmine.
Why didn’t the piece of cloth come to school today?
Because he didn’t feel too-well.
I once went to work drunk and put too many double or multiple folds in a garment or other item made of cloth, held by stitching at the top or side.
It was replete with pleats.
What type of cloth does the Soviet Union use
Watching a show where researchers collect bugs using a large cotton cloth dragged over the grass to count them
Dad - Guess you could call that a tick sheet
What did the ear of corn say when it's clothes fell off?
Why are the opera singer’s clothes so fluffy?
Because he uses a fabric softenor
First time my dad took me to church I noticed there was a lady disrobing dolls and putting the clothes on a small cross. I asked my dad what she was doing.
He said "Oh that's just a cross dresser..."
At the checkout counter at my daughter’s favorite clothing store:
Clerk, attempting to add me to their email list: “Do you have a good email?”
Me: “It’s pretty good but I don’t know that I would brag about it. Thank you for asking.”
Clerk, as everyone around begins to laugh: “I love dad jokes. I need to call my dad”
My daughter tried to fain embarrassment but still tells that story at family gatherings.
when I was a child we were so poor that my mother made us clothes out of the scraps my dad would bring home from work at the sandpaper factory
There's a gang going through the shops in our town, systematically shoplifting clothes in size order.
The Police believe they’re still at large.
My wife and I were shopping for clothes at the department store when she asked, "Do you prefer boxers or briefs?"
My local clothing store has an area set aside to try on clothes that is perfectly placed in the store...
I just saw my wife trip over and drop the basket of clothes she just ironed.
Why did the Psychic leave the clothing store unhappy?
because they had no mediums...
I just received a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my old clothes to the starving people around the world...
I told them, "Anyone who fits into my clothes, certainly isn't starving. "
I went shopping for my son’s back to school clothes. We went over the list when I got back home.
Shirts? Yup.
Pants? Yup.
Sweatpants? Yup.
Nikes? CHECK!
Edit: Grammar
Hey look, the clothes are on sale
Clothes drying was one of the most pioneering technologies of our time.
They were the first to go online.
My wife said, "Isn't it strange how little people change?"
Now I'm thinking, "Do dwarves put on clothes differently to the rest of us. "
The taylor at the local men's clothing shop kept trying to help me find wedding attire despite my wishes. He finally gave up and said
It’s been a long running tradition for my family to, once a year, jog to the nearest clothes store and back
I guess it just runs in the jeans
When we were young my mum used dress me and my brother in the same clothes and we hated it.
If monkeys start stealing clothes from everyone it'll be the Rise of the planet of the Dr'apes'
There were three guys named Jackson who were all in the clothing business.
Due to lack of real estate options in their city, they all set up shop next door to each other. In order to convince customers to come to their store rather than one of the other Jacksons, they all put up signs to attract customers.
The one on the left puts up a sign that says "Jackson's clothing store (Best prices!)"
Not to be outdone, the one on the right puts up a sign that says "Jackson's clothing store (Best quality!)
The one in the middle thinks about it for a while, and eventually puts up a sign of his own.
"Jackson's clothing store (Main entrance).”
What is the hardest item of clothing for a female French elephant to put on in the morning?
I went to the tailor, but his prices were so high, I told him I’m going to learn to tailor my own clothes.
He said “Fine, suit yourself.”
I used to be obsessed with the idea of playing football with random items of clothing. However, after stealing from a nun's wardrobe to feed my addiction, I soon saw the error of my ways.
It was a difficult habit to kick.
I got fired from my job of making a double or multiple fold in a garment or other item made of cloth, held by stitching the top or side.
My wife tripped and dropped the basket of clothes she had just ironed.
My wife tripped and dropped the basket of clothes she’d just ironed.
It may sound far-fetched but it’s true.
I watched it all unfold.
I just watched my wife trip and drop the pile of clothes she just ironed.
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