A list of puns related to "The Charts"
He says, "Printed in China."
This is a true story lol.
Of how much of Japan is Japan.
I call it the flip charts.
And in the waiting room he found a chart with the qualities of a "good poop". It said that one of the main qualities In the best poops are that they sink. They don't float. So he comes home and shows us a copy of the chart.
Literally like 10 mins later my little sister comes out of the bathroom screaming that she had a great poop because it sank "just like the titanic".
My dad wastes no time and run into the bathroom to check on the toilet and looks at me with a face of satisfaction that told me he was gonna do it. Then he said it:
"That's some good shit right there".
Looking at his chart of suspects, he banged his fist against the wall, "It could be any one of these three!"
Then, a silhouetted figure spoke out, "It's suspect number 1."
"The one from Norte Dame? How can you be sure?"
Quasimodo then steps out of the shadows with a knife behind his back, "Let's just say that I've got a hunch."
Had my dog in for a tooth extraction and when the vet was looking over the chart I told her it was one of his canines.
"No, it's a molar"
Frustrating when nobody recognizes great humour.
Coworker was putting fresh water in her tea, which was too strong for her.
Me: Soooo...if you were to chart the level of flavor in tea vs. the amount of time you left the bag in the cup, would you end up with a steep curve?
Coworker: Stare
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
My Dad would always make jokes that no one got at first and then he'd explain and the cheesiness level was off the charts. Like we'd say "Bye!" if we were leaving and he'd say "Sell!" Or if were were leaving the dinner table we'd say "call me back for dessert" and then he'd yell "Hey, back for dessert". Everytime he sees someone jogging he says "leave earlier!" When we'd ask why, he'd say "well, if they left earlier, they would have to run". That joke is family lore in our household.
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