The Borderline Puns

family walks into Denny's

Waitress: "Welcome to Denny's! Just five of you today?"

Dad: "Yes, four adults, one child."

Waitress: "Alright, would you like a kids menu today?"

Dad: "No thanks, I just had three. They were delicious."

-_-

(Technically I haven't heard any joke before, but...)

I was telling my dad about tactile sign, which is what deafblind people use to communicate. It is like signing condensed ASL with someone's hands on yours, and it is what I plan on specializing in when I am a Certified Deaf Interpreter. He brought up Helen Keller and the conversation went as follows.

Dad: "But how many people can really do that? How many people could really communicate with Helen Keller?"

Me: "Well-"

Dad: "PROBABLY JUST A HANDFUL!"

I'm borderline convinced he deafened me as an infant in hopes that someday the set up for this joke would present itself.

You snuggle it across. If you cant bear to do that you are borderline insane, its not even against the claw!

Back when I was in high school, I dated this black girl. A little backstory: I'm white. Anyway, I was with my dad and my uncle, and my uncle made some borderline-racist comment about the black girlfriend, to which my father shrugged and replied, "Eh. They're all pink on the inside."