There were a lot of red flags.
Sadly it was useless. It was the 5th in the series.
I only have my shelf to blame.
I can't put it down!
Dr. Zeus
https://imgur.com/gallery/pTcCJkd It turns out they all suck.
There’s a lot….of cross referencing.
It's a phone book, but I'm still very proud of it.
You're Ghana love 'em!
That's just one, but I bet you can't stop laughing already, Kenya!
She became ILL-literate.
The Quaranteens
The embarrassment of it was hard enough to handle. It also cost me a small fortune in stamps
I heard they’re a little dry.
You know, the one by Lee King
I might crack a few
Not sure if I'll ever recover.
They named it the Alcorythm
But each page is so riveting
My solicitor reckons I'm looking at a long sentence...
I have only my shelf to blame.
It was a really interesting auto-biography.
Linkin Park
I've only got my shelf to blame
A happy Uncle.....
A gi-ant!
I am so proud right now!
When she came to the register I asked her, “Are you an overdue book? ‘Cause you have fine written all over you”.
I couldn't stop quacking up!
Poison IV, though, just made the victim extremely itchy.
It’s an Otto biography.
It still hasn't arrived yet.
With a sighsmograph
Edit: Wow, you guys, Thank-you the the awards and upvotes. If only my family appreciated this joke as much as you do!
I think I’ve got diary-a
His exact words were "I can clearly see your nuts"
It’s about raisin awareness
So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."
Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"
"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."
The man can't believe it.
"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"
Naturally, they're both shocked.
"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."
Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."
They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.
"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"
The man puts down his fruit and responds,
"It's a date!"
He just couldn’t help himself.
Their cool looking flag is a really big plus, too
Looking back at it now, I see why.
A figure of speech.
It's very saucy
Telekinephews.
… I’m considering “Prose and Cons”
