In the beginning the god of diabetes said...
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οΈ Sep 05 2020
In the beginning , alphabet had only 25 letters .
ποΈ 13
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οΈ Jul 05 2020
To make extra money, my professor forces all the students to buy his book at the beginning of the term.
Itβs textbook Economics.
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οΈ Jul 13 2020
I used to hate the lockdown in the beginning, but now that I have a full fridge, I am ok with it.
Scientists are calling it the Stock Home syndrome.
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οΈ May 31 2020
I was reading a history book, and apparently in the middle east there were hundreds of years where nocturnal predator birds used to fly around and ejaculate all over the place. The Arabic people would keep each other up to date on the latest attacks; and so marked the beginning of...
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οΈ Apr 22 2020
The beginning of the book is so sad that I've just been able to cry for years...
But I think it's time to turn the page.
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οΈ Apr 30 2020
How did we know communism was doomed from the beginning?
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οΈ Dec 04 2019
I suspected my girlfriend was a ghost right from the beginning
Starting with the moment she walked through those doors.
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οΈ May 06 2019
All the beginning of a decade/end of a decade memes are getting old.
I mean, they are so last year.
ποΈ 13
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οΈ Jan 01 2020
In the beginning, God created time...
He created it 1 hour at a time. But after he had created 24, he called it a day.
ποΈ 107
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οΈ Jul 18 2019
What is often at the beginning of a question
ποΈ 66
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οΈ Jun 11 2019
At the slaughterhouse, the cows were beginning to form bonds with me before I led them to be murdered...
I guess Stockyard Syndrome is real!
ποΈ 6
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οΈ Nov 21 2019
Why are most kids born in the beginning of September?
It's right after Labour Day.
ποΈ 14
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οΈ Apr 04 2019
One time I sung the beginning of the βFriendsβ theme song in the middle of class,
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Feb 21 2019
A friend once fed me donkey meat without telling me. I should have known from the beginning, though; it tasted like ass.
ποΈ 12
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οΈ Jul 22 2018
TIL: At the beginning of his career, Kevin Spacey only played two dimensional characters.
He was then known as Kevin Planey.
ποΈ 11
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οΈ Dec 03 2018
My daughter walk in, in the middle of a story and says "start from the beginning"
Me: starts making baby noises.
Her: what's that all about dad?
Me: I think that's how I began
Her: Big eyeroll while attempting to suppress giggles
ποΈ 9
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οΈ Jan 19 2019
I'm beginning to think most of the jokes here come from Laffy Taffy wrappers.
ποΈ 8
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οΈ Nov 26 2018
Let me start at the beginning
ποΈ 13
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οΈ Aug 18 2018
The beginning of my next school project
ποΈ 8
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οΈ Jan 05 2018
Springtime is almost here, the flowers are beginning to bloom and my alergies are going crazy....
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οΈ Feb 22 2018
A man in the street started throwing words beginning with 'th' at me.
I managed to dodge this, there and then but I didn't see that coming!
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οΈ Sep 06 2017
I didn't complete the Scadanavian languages course; I did well enough at the beginning in Danish, Swedish, and Norweigian...
...but I just couldn't Finnish.
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οΈ Oct 11 2017
I bought a dictionary from the library and realized someone had ripped out pages from the beginning.
They also ripped out pages from the the end. It just went from βbadβ to βworseβ.
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Apr 27 2018
The dad in me is beginning to show up
I asked my friend how exactly I might be related to one of my cousins...
Me: "So if my grandmother has a sister who happens to have a granddaughter, is she my second cousin?"
Friend: "Yeah.. I believe she is your second cousin"
Me: "So that means my children and her children are going to be minute cousins?"
Friend: "..."
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οΈ Jan 06 2015
my dad's joke since the beginning of time
context: there is a disagreement or argument of some kind.
dad:"I'll tell you what"
me:"what?"
dad:"what"
and he walks away smirking like he won.
ποΈ 59
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οΈ Feb 28 2014
They said the quality of my puns was beginning to plateau. I'm really proud though...
Plateaus are the highest form of flattery.
ποΈ 18
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οΈ Jan 06 2015
My dad would always say this at the beginning of a family meeting
"alright, let's get this meeting over with so we can get back to our families". Then again that was only when the family meeting was about something trivial. He didn't say that when my brother and I really fucked up.
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Dec 02 2013
My professor makes all the students buy his book at the beginning of the term to make some profit.
Itβs textbook Economics.
ποΈ 6
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οΈ May 15 2020
To make extra money, my university professor makes all his students buy his book at the beginning of the term.
Itβs textbook Economics.
ποΈ 130
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οΈ Aug 12 2019
My university professor forces the students to buy his book at the beginning of the semester.
Itβs textbook economics.
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Jun 19 2019
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