In the beginning the god of diabetes said...

Let there be cake!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pharmerino
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
In the beginning , alphabet had only 25 letters .

Nobody knew why .

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ivanshu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
To make extra money, my professor forces all the students to buy his book at the beginning of the term.

It’s textbook Economics.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to hate the lockdown in the beginning, but now that I have a full fridge, I am ok with it.

Scientists are calling it the Stock Home syndrome.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I was reading a history book, and apparently in the middle east there were hundreds of years where nocturnal predator birds used to fly around and ejaculate all over the place. The Arabic people would keep each other up to date on the latest attacks; and so marked the beginning of...

The Owl Jizz Era News.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nutsacktetherball
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
The beginning of the book is so sad that I've just been able to cry for years...

But I think it's time to turn the page.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EspectadorExpectante
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
How did we know communism was doomed from the beginning?

All the red flags.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 74
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Frankfurt995
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I suspected my girlfriend was a ghost right from the beginning

Starting with the moment she walked through those doors.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 132
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Wakanda4eva4eva
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
All the beginning of a decade/end of a decade memes are getting old.

I mean, they are so last year.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Yeoshua82
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
In the beginning, God created time...

He created it 1 hour at a time. But after he had created 24, he called it a day.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 107
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dwrk92
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What is often at the beginning of a question
πŸ‘οΈŽ 66
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dufffer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
At the slaughterhouse, the cows were beginning to form bonds with me before I led them to be murdered...

I guess Stockyard Syndrome is real!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are most kids born in the beginning of September?

It's right after Labour Day.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Valdagast
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
One time I sung the beginning of the β€œFriends” theme song in the middle of class,

Then everybody clapped

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Splooden
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
A friend once fed me donkey meat without telling me. I should have known from the beginning, though; it tasted like ass.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Denovation
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 22 2018
🚨︎ report
TIL: At the beginning of his career, Kevin Spacey only played two dimensional characters.

He was then known as Kevin Planey.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2018
🚨︎ report
My daughter walk in, in the middle of a story and says "start from the beginning"

Me: starts making baby noises. Her: what's that all about dad? Me: I think that's how I began Her: Big eyeroll while attempting to suppress giggles

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kakamoraa
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm beginning to think most of the jokes here come from Laffy Taffy wrappers.

Chew on that!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Eliza_Swain
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Let me start at the beginning

BANG!!!!!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bo-zo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 18 2018
🚨︎ report
The beginning of my next school project
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OmegaLevelGaming
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Springtime is almost here, the flowers are beginning to bloom and my alergies are going crazy....

That's snot good.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/oddiseeus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2018
🚨︎ report
A man in the street started throwing words beginning with 'th' at me.

I managed to dodge this, there and then but I didn't see that coming!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LordJimsicle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 06 2017
🚨︎ report
I didn't complete the Scadanavian languages course; I did well enough at the beginning in Danish, Swedish, and Norweigian...

...but I just couldn't Finnish.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 65
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wmcduff
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 11 2017
🚨︎ report
I bought a dictionary from the library and realized someone had ripped out pages from the beginning.

They also ripped out pages from the the end. It just went from β€œbad” to β€œworse”.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/IsThisNameValid
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 27 2018
🚨︎ report
The dad in me is beginning to show up

I asked my friend how exactly I might be related to one of my cousins...

Me: "So if my grandmother has a sister who happens to have a granddaughter, is she my second cousin?"

Friend: "Yeah.. I believe she is your second cousin"

Me: "So that means my children and her children are going to be minute cousins?"

Friend: "..."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/goldenbat23
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 06 2015
🚨︎ report
my dad's joke since the beginning of time

context: there is a disagreement or argument of some kind.

dad:"I'll tell you what" me:"what?" dad:"what" and he walks away smirking like he won.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 59
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iwilltestthisout
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 28 2014
🚨︎ report
They said the quality of my puns was beginning to plateau. I'm really proud though...

Plateaus are the highest form of flattery.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sanuuu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 06 2015
🚨︎ report
My dad would always say this at the beginning of a family meeting

"alright, let's get this meeting over with so we can get back to our families". Then again that was only when the family meeting was about something trivial. He didn't say that when my brother and I really fucked up.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JalarianDeAndre
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 02 2013
🚨︎ report
My professor makes all the students buy his book at the beginning of the term to make some profit.

It’s textbook Economics.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
To make extra money, my university professor makes all his students buy his book at the beginning of the term.

It’s textbook Economics.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 130
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My university professor forces the students to buy his book at the beginning of the semester.

It’s textbook economics.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.