I recently learned that two wrongs don’t make a right
But two rights make a plane
Research shows that left handed people waste more food than right handed people
Otherwise, rightovers would be a word.
In Soviet union you were not allowed to write with your left hand. That isn't right!
I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing street names right off the posts.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
What do you call a fish that sings right on key?
My wife was fighting me about doing our kitchen in granite or laminate. She finally told me that we just can’t afford granite right now.
I have to admit... it was a pretty good counter argument.
Did this painting for my friend (far right) who is a huge Pittsburgh steelers fan. His favorite player is Troy Polamalu... And he likes puns. That's me in the middle.l in my favorite jumper. Thoughts???
reddit.com/gallery/kkbp9y
Well I walked right into that one didn't I
But that’s not important right now
How do you find the right book in a library that was caught in a flood?
Using the mildewey decimal system!
we all know that song, right?
I just told my dad that things were tense between me and my BFF right now.
He responded with "Wow. Things are so tents it yurts."
A kitchen sink that treats you right?
Walked right into that one.
That's some sharp wit right there.
I had an idea at work to make headphones that have two right sides
They said it would be all right
I always yield to vehicles that look like they could crush my car. They have the right of weigh.
With all that's going on, I told my dad that finishing my degree in astrophysics may not be the kind of science the world needs right now.
He looked away from the TV long enough to say, "Black holes matter."
Sigh... "Yeah, Dad. They are."
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
At one point, I had so much acne on my face, that a blind person mistook my right cheek for braille.
I was so embarrassed. Boy, was my face read
Freezer, built to do one thing, can’t even do that right!
FREEZER BUUUUURRRRRNNNN!!!
Son: Hey Dad, why do you have your ear right up to that computer?
Dad: I’m listening to A Dell
There are so many businesses that deliver right now
but I'd really prefer to keep my liver.
Thats the truth right there
My friend bet me a subway sandwich that I couldn't walk on a tightrope without falling. He was right.
The actor who played Bilbo is really upset that a supermarket opened up right next to his house.
Unexpected item in the Baggins area.
The market right now reminds me of that N'SYNC song
Dad, is that a buffalo running right towards us?
Dad, is it true that two wrongs make a right?
T-Rex was upset that nobody would swipe right
Dating is tough for online predators
Every time I draw a pun I think "Thats it, the dumbest one, yet." I'm always right.
The Sonic the hedgehog trailer has dropped right on the eve of Ramadan, this is a subtle nod to the fact that Sonic's gotta go fast
I have observed that people who always turn right are invariably on time.
Girlfriend accepts that I'm always right and we were talking about future kids
Me: "I dunno how I'll feel about it"
Her: "Whatcha mean?"
Me: "I'm not sure how I'll feel about kids who will only be half right"
Her: "..."
Me: "But it's okay I guess because they'll be half left too"
Her: "Oh my goodness"
What can you hold in your left hand that you can't hold in your right hand?
That’s some colorful shit right there
That time I beat my dad at his own game. In the middle of a heated lecture about not joining my friends' shenanigans, dad said, "Two wrongs don't make a right."
"Two Wrights do make an airplane."
"I'm proud of you. You're still grounded though."
That’s right. Good day malady
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
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