If you have bee hive at your house, and you call a local bee keeper to take them away, the Bee keepers will thank you for the FreeBees.
I'd like to personally thank the inventor of the mini skirt...
My balls have never felt so free.
Sorry this isn’t really a joke but I wanted to say thanks
I just wanted to thank everyone here. My mom has been in the hospital with the virus and being able to send her jokes from here has made her laugh (we both really like puns!) so I just wanted to thank y’all for the fun jokes you post. I know it doesn’t seem like much but it has been very nice to be able to share them with her!
Edit: thank you so much for the awards and well wishes! I 100% did not expect this to blow up like it did and I’m so glad for y’all’s support!!
I failed my medical school entrance exam last week, thanks to nerves.
The correct answer was blood vessels.
I'd like to thank my legs
For supporting me. My arms, for always being by my side. And my fingers, I could always count on them.
I’d like to thank Merriam-Webster for teaching me the meaning of the word “plethora”.
I was checking out at the grocery store today and the bagger was holding my stuff over the shopping cart and asked: “sir, would you like to go out with the cart?”. To which I replied “oh, no thanks I’m actually married”. My poor son looked mortified. Dad joke status ACHIEVED.
What's the best way to give thanks?
What does the father whale say to his daughter after she thanks him for being such a good dad.
I would like to thank my dad for teaching me the word "apportion".
I would like to personally thank this sub.
Every morning when I email my team their daily tasks, I include a joke from this sub. and I appreciate you all so I can try to make everyone laugh a little before rough work at a hospital. So thanks dads!
Thanks to whoever left some goodies hanging all through my morning walk today..
Hey everyone, thanks for keeping this community awesome, but due to several reasons, I've decided to stop making dad jokes, here's why
I want to give a special thanks to...
My hands for always staying by my side
My legs for helping me stand up
And my fingers because I could always count on them
Thanks to Corona this store is now ...
Thanks to my toes for stabilizing me
A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”. “Sure thing” the bartender replies and asks “but what’s with the big pause?
”
The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”
Thanks to our mutual dislike of newspaper puzzles, my wife and I have enjoyed a long and happy marriage. Thirty years and...
Everyone knows that the zip code for Beverly Hills is 90210 thanks to the show, but not as many people know the zip code to Dawson’s Creek.
It’s 90108
^...for ^our ^^lives ^^^to ^^^be ^^^over...
Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me.
We should thank people ensuring essential services are available to us in this crisis
A pandemic without dem would lead to Panic
Thanks to my dedication, my watch always has the right time. It's never been wrong.
You know, we only have Gandalf to thank for Hotel California
After all, he did bring us the Eagles
To my college roommate: "Thanks for looking up the definition of 'naught'".
I’m looking for punny popsicle names. I’d like them to be a play on actual names like Pop Ross, Mary Pop-pins, Pop Seger, Albert Ice-stein, Freezy F Baby, David Pop-perfield, and Iggy Pop. I’m particularly interested in playing upon the names of historical female figures. Help please and thank you!
I need help! I am co-captain of a team to raise money for cancer. My team needs a name. I need to mix some element of cancer with Alice in Wonderland. I need a pun, and I figured this subreddit is the best place to go. Thanks
Today, I'd like to give thanks to the minus sign
Thanks for making a difference
A big thank you to "Dad jokes."
As a professional children's entertainer, finding the dad jokes thread has been a real blessing. I work mainly with children between the ages of four and eight, and, for obvious reasons, I need to keep my jokes clean. In my business, a groan is just as good as the laugh because it usually is accompanied by a smile!
I'm afraid I don't know who started it, but the "this paper says otherwise" is easily one of my favorites. I took the liberty of having 500 business cards that say "otherwise" on them. I use them in my performances in a variety of ways. If I see a dad after my show who looks like the type who might enjoy a good pun, I will go up to him and ask him if he thought the show was good. Inevitably he will say yes, and I'll tell him that "Unfortunately this card says otherwise." I then leave the dad with the card to use at his own behest.
Just wanted to give a big shout out and a big thank you to the Dad jokes community for inspiration. People ask me what I do for a living and I tell them I'm the Jimmy Fallon to five-year-olds. Thanks so much for contributing all you guys do!
Thanks to my Spanish speaking friend for teaching me “el mundo”
I Really need to thank everyone for giving me the definition of “surplus”. It really means a lot.
Person 1: Thanks for introducing me to minimalism
Person 2: Its the least I can do
A serious thank you to /r/dadjokes:
The last couple of weeks have been rough with rough patches going on with my relationship with my fiance and other stuff in general. I wasnt able to do much for New Years and had to spend it alone for the first time in several years.
Its sounds corny, but reading through all the "last year" jokes has brought joy to my life and brought genuine laughter when it's been hard for me to find it, especially recently. It's hard to smile, especially during rough patches of life, but you've brightened my evening in a way that I havent felt in a while.
I hope you all have a great 2019, and thank you again.
(You could say that I spent all year writing this :P)
Yeah, thanks, I really needed to know that, old man....
I want to thank everyone who were always right beside me...
..on the other hand, also the one who never left.
A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”. “Sure thing” the bartender replies and asks “but what’s with the big pause?
”
The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”
I would like to thank my arms for always being at my side, my legs for supporting me, and my fingers because i could count on them
Thank you for explaining the word many to me
I'd like to thank my legs for always supporting me, my arms for always being by my side and my fingers...
I could always count on them.
A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”. “Sure thing” the bartender replies and asks “but what’s with the big pause?
”
The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”
A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”. “Sure thing” the bartender replies and asks “but what’s with the big pause?
”
The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me.
Thanks for explaining the word many to me
I would like to thank my hands.
I can always count on you.
I'd just like to thank my legs for supporting me through thick and thin.
And my arms for being by my side for all these years.
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