Texas Rangers Puns

##DET 10 - TEX 2 ##FINAL

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After seeing A Brief History of the Texas Rangers, props to /u/TexasRangersFanatics on that, I thought it would be interesting to gather and record all the neat little things about the Texas Rangers franchise that are worth mentioning or remembering, because as informative as that video was, it still felt like there was so much more to be told. Now, I don't exactly expect a six-part documentary on the Rangers anytime soon, but a written compendium on the Texas Rangers is a good place to start and I'm just wondering what y'all think should be included in something like that.

Things along the lines of, but not limited to:

• Jim Kern and his 1979 fourth-place Cy Young finish

• "Mr. Ranger" Tom Grieve and his extensive role in the organization throughout his life

• Ten Cent Beer Night

• 30-3

• David Hulse and the Angels' dugout

• Adam Rosales

• Kenny Rogers fights a camera guy

• Marwin Gonzalez

• Jose Canseco and his Big Bouncy Brain

• The hour-long seventh-inning of ALDS Game 5

• The 1977 Texas Rangers and Four Managers

• A Helicopter crash before the season opener of the 1975 season

• Beltre on-deck fiasco

• Manager Ted Williams

• 1999 Gold Glove winner Rafael Palmeiro

• Juan Gonzalez and the Yankees

• David Clyde

 

And there is so much more that I just can't even think of right now, but this is very much a storied franchise with tales to tell and it's a shame it all gets glossed over in favor of one-game performances and on-field brawls.

Anything I might be missing, toss it in. Dutch Oven's 8 and 1/3 innings in Game 4. Sure, why not, we don't actually have a whole lot going on, we might need to include that. Anything worth mentioning, this is a compendium.

Ownership was fed up with GM Chris Young and president of baseball operations Jon Daniels. After building a brand new stadium in 2020, they lost a year of attendance due to covid. Then, the team was shit so no one showed up to the ballpark. Ownership had made it very clear. They wanted an at least fun team to watch in two years or Jones and Daniels were both gone. And to their credit, they tried. They brought in a fun ass player in Adolis Garcia and they signed big ticket free agents in Marcus Semien and Corey Seager, but it’s just not enough for the owners. As unreasonable as it may seem, they wanted a winner. Or at least a fun team. And this team just wasn’t fun. That’s why after the firing of these two, they went after you. You spent your college years being a clown on the side and your professional career before this was as “the director of extracurricular events” for the Savanna Bananas independent league baseball team. You knew fun.

As mentioned previously, the Rangers were abysmal last year to say the least. They finished 60-102 last year which was third worst in the MLB, but luckily that means they get the third overall pick in the draft. This pick can be added to the 11th ranked farm system that is headlined by top 100 prospects Jack Leiter, RHP (No. 12); Josh Jung, 3B (No. 52); Cole Winn, RHP (No. 66); Justin Foscue, 2B (No. 90); and Sam Huff, C/1B (No. 99). After their offseason spending spree, they jumped all the way up from 26th in total payroll to 13th as they currently sit at $114 million.

So, my beautiful little soldiers, it’s your turn to lead this team now. Remember, the owner wants a fun competitive team, and they want it fast. Meanwhile Rangers fans have been waiting for about a decade now for a chance at redemption. Nelson Cruz and David Freese still dance in their nightmares to this day. So, with all of this in mind, what do you do?

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Last Updated at 2021-12-27 15:00:30.250224

##SEA 3 - TEX 2 ##FINAL

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Last Updated at 2021-12-14 20:30:44.530006