What kind of temper tantrums do fake presidents always throw?

Counterfeits!

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
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What do you call a snowman temper tantrum?

A meltdown.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rainbowbubble94
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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Why did Loki throw a temper tantrum when he couldn't find his brother during a game of hide and seek?

Because he was a Thor loser

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πŸ‘€︎ u/costerluver
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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My wife and I went hiking and got lost. I lost my temper and she was so upset she threw the map at me.

Now I know where we stand.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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What do you call it when a snowman loses his temper?

A meltdown.

(Told to me by a grandpa earlier today.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adela-Siobhan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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Don’t get the glass mad , it has a temper
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crafty5999
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
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How do you handle a redhead's temper?

Gingerly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cross_beaux
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
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Why was the pediatrician always losing his temper?

He had little patients.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/henzhou
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2017
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Scalies don't have temper tantrums.

They have hissy fits. 🐍

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhobustheDorkus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
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What do you call a German foodie with a short temper? A real sauerkraut.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/athei-nerd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2016
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My son threw a temper tantrum at the store because I wouldn't buy him pickles

I told him it wasn't kosher to act like that and it's his bread and butter to not finish eating things he wants. He needs to dill with it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PSUHiker31
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2018
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There was a train operator who had a really bad temper.

There was a train operator who had a really bad temper. Nobody liked him. He would always bark at people and be aggressive towards them. One day an 18 year old girl tried to get on his train near its departure time, but being the man he was, he started moving the train, she fell under it and died. The man was immediately hauled off to court where he was sentenced to desth by electric chair. So they strapped him in and pressed the switch, but nothing happend. Baffled, they let him go. The operator thought long and hard about his actions and decided to improve his life. So when an old woman tried to get on his train near the departure time and seeing her, he waited for her to get on. Unfortunately she tripped, fell, and died. He was hauled off to court again and due to his past reputation, he was sentenced to death by electric chair again. This time when they pulled the switch he was shocked and he died.

Why did it work this time, but not the first time? The first time he was a bad conductor, but the second time he was a good conductor.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2017
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Why do short-tempered doctors always go out of business?

They don't have any patients.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smakattak
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
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Why is the doctor hot tempered?

because there ain’t any patients

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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My Child's Paediatrician is usually a bit short tempered when we visit, but then again..

..She always had little patients.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A Vicious circle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Famousspy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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Why is the temperate grasslands the savanna's idol?

Because it will always follow its foot-steppe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Knightener
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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What do you get from a tempered cow?

SPOILED MILK

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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How are doctors so even tempered even under this incredibly stressful times?

They have a lot of patients.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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I rescued a dog that once belonged to a blacksmith.

The first thing he did when I brought him home was make a bolt for the door.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eternal_Punshine
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2021
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Why was the short tempered doctor given a raise?

Because he was always the first to run out of patients.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arborgarbage
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
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short-tempered doctors are either really angry or really bad.

because they lack patience

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πŸ‘€︎ u/disc0_ninja
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
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There was a bad-tempered pirate who would always add "you" onto the end of his sentences

He would always "argue"

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2018
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What did the shot-tempered doctor say to the cannibal?

β€œStop trying my patients!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PunnedItPundit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2018
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Idea for a short-tempered female super villian.....

....Ovary-axe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ultra-saurus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2015
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What's round and bad tempered? unsungpun.com/a-vicious-c…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cctblues
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2014
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Someone baked my sword! It made me so angry!! I guess you could say...

I lost my temper

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bb5x24
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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How did a car crash victim get rid of his anger issues?

He was temper errorly disabled

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mark5301
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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My sword doesn't weigh much.

Its my light saber

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WaidWilsen
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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A crazy guy got shot in his head

He became less temper-a-mental.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Khaos_Gorvin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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Vulture Problems (and apologies to Kansas)

The Prince of the vultures had always been a rebel, but he surprised everyone when he announced he was going to be a vegetarian. And nobody expected this to divide the vulture kingdom, with nearly half the vultures supporting the Prince's choice. Tempers flared, and civil war was brewing when the Prince burst into the King's chambers.

"Father," he cried, "I never meant to cause this. I'll do anything you say to reunite the kingdom. Please, Father, what should I eat?"

The King set a plate of roadkill in front of the Prince, and said "Carrion, my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rjsquirrel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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Hot headed midget.

Short temper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrVegano
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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What's an angry window made of?

Tempered glass

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wizard7926
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
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What do I know about dwarves?

Very little.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mynameismonkey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2017
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"Stop making fun of my height."

I'm sorry. I didn't know you had such a short temper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Miggitman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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Man I hate grapes

Grapes suck man, I mean potatoes they're appealing ;) and can even grow back even after being smashed ;) out drunk, but grapes they just get drunk and wine and wine and wine ;), oh and corn, god who needs corn, they just party but pop off ;) for no reason, they say after its waters temper ;) but... well I guess water is not good either, they get angry and just boil ;) over... oh and I heard some news about tomatoes they had an affair with cherries ;), I heard that tomatoes wife is gonna get revenge by dewing grass ;), but I can only say one thing the plant party was wild last night.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mjk2581
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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I broke the glass coffee pot at work when I put cold water in it.

You could say it lost its temper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VTKegger
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2016
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I never yell or get crazy angry and I never will

I guess that means I’ve lost my temper forever

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DecentPlastic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
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A classic on fathers day

Im sitting in my bedroom just surfing while my wife give my girls a shower in the master bathroom.

So shower's over and Avery was whining that she was cold. After a long day of swimming, that whining turned into a temper tantrum. IM COLD!! IM REALLY COLD!!! over and over.

Calmly, I say, "Ave", she sobs "what", I say "IM REALLY DADDY, ITS NICE TO MEET YOU"

BOOM!! full blown screams and cries. Mission accomplished.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZER0EFFSGIVEN
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2018
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This tiny sword keeps getting angry with me.

It must be short tempered.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KyleMistry
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2013
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Every single time we go to a restaurant with sea bass on the menu

my dad will ask the waiter if their sea bass is ill tempered. Here is a link to the scene from Austin Powers for anyone who doesn't know the line. Only two waiters have ever gotten the joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Etheril
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2013
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A man brought his son to the grocery store...

A man brought his son to a grocery store, but as soon as they walked in the store the young child began to throw a temper tantrum. While they went down each aisle the child would yell, throw items in and out of the cart, and overall just be an annoyance.

Despite the scene his son was causing, the father was cool and collected, slowly and calmly saying, "Don't worry, Donald. It'll be alright, Donald, we'll be home soon."

A nearby mother was very impressed with the father's self control, and wanted to express her gratitude for such calm parenting. "Sir, I'm amazed that you are able to be so calm! It's not every day I see such patient and gracious parenting. Now little guy, what seems to be the problem, Donald?"

"Oh no, ma'am, you're mistaken!" The father interjected, "This is my son, Henry. I'm Donald!"

^(Happy Father's Day to all you fathers out there! Thank you for all you do.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J-Sluit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2015
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Why did the number of hospital visits quadruple after China started manufacturing glassware?

Because they make bad tempered glass.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arrenlex
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2012
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What do you call it when a snowman loses his temper

A meltdown

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πŸ‘€︎ u/real_obito
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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