Tell Me Puns

I can do that with my eyes closed.

I said “That’s odd”

I’m still working on it.

I told her because the left one don’t taste right

I allways answer with "you are not Russian eaither so why you Stalin"

No sun.

That would be a big step forward

It's particularly frustrating because now my fence has fallen over.

It really soots me

I told him: "I don't know much about history."

I told him: No sun.

I’ve always thought it’s a parent.

Whats A tooth fairys favorite movie? Jaws

What kind of animal does a tooth fairy have? A canine

Where does the tooth fairy get her magic? Its just incisor

What a Tooth fairys favorite animal? A Molar bear

What's a tooth fairys favorite element? Tungsten

Whats a Tooth fairys favorite fairy tale? Tonsil and gretle

Whats a tooth fairys favorite dance? The floss

How does the tooth fairy survive a hurricane? She braces for it

Why doesn't the tooth fairy like dental instruments? She finds them obtooth

Every time I ask someone, they tell me it's private!

I’m on the hunt for a cereal chiller.

Without missing a beat I responded with "oh that's cool, do we have any Pearl Jam?"

Fully expect to be single soon

who wrote all of these classics?

...there's a "Czech Engine" light on?

I tell her, "Looks aren't everything".

"I think we can swing that" Proudest dad joke yet as it flowed so naturally

Then we can talk about it.

I'll show him. Just you wait.

Edit: Goodness, that blew up. My first awards, too!

I want to send out individual replies to thank everyone who gave me an award. I might do it later.

I dig bones.

Crew: I I Captain.

I'm re-posting so his fence is ok.

Once we stopped, I turned to them and said, "Look what you just made me do!!!!"

The man replies " It's A knicknack, patty whack, give the frog a loan, his old mans a rolling stone (also I meant Mick jagger my autocorrect sucks balls)

So I said, "you asked for it - I'll call you a ding-dong!"

I don't listen - and something else.

I said “no weigh?”

It goes in one ear and out the other.

I didn't do anything to deserve it.

I had to draw my own conclusions.

He wanted to grow a power plant

but I think I'm a better person now.

I told them "Nah. Z."

It keeps telling me my door is a jar.

so I guess that means I’m not actually their sun.

I said Arson.

No sun.

No, son.

No sun.

No sun.

No, sun.

Every time I ask someone, they tell me "it's private."

"No sun."

Well, I can do it with my eyes closed.