I canβt remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 as Roman Numerals.
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︎ Oct 11 2021
Daughter 1 (crying): "I was going to draw a chameleon but Daughter 2 said I couldn't." Wife: "You can draw a chameleon?" (D1 nods).
Me: "I can too. I already did. It's so good, you can't even see where I drew it."
All three girls: Conversation stops, eyes roll, crisis averted.
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︎ Oct 19 2021
Air at the gas station used to be free. Now it's $1.50. Do you know why?
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︎ Sep 21 2021
I wasn't sure if I should take my 1 year old daughter to the emergency room when she ate a bunch of Scrabble tiles...
But there's a chance her next bowl movement could spell disaster.
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︎ Aug 22 2021
I read they are calibrating elevators to make 1 ton the weight limit for all of them
Something about a new tons law
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︎ Oct 14 2021
Just spent $1.50 just to fill up my tires at a gas station.
Must be due to inflation.
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︎ Jun 09 2021
People shouldn't be afraid of thunder and lightning. The chance of getting struck by lightning is just 1-in-15300. So there's nothing to be afraid of...
But I guess it might be a bit of a bolt statement
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︎ Aug 19 2021
It just cost me $1.25 to fill my tires. It used to cost 75 cents.
Prices adjusted for inflation.
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︎ Jul 30 2021
Took my kids to the zoo today, it was awful, just 1 dog in cage
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︎ Jul 14 2021
What did 2n+1 say to 2n?
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︎ Sep 09 2020
I donβt mean to brag, but I just put a puzzle together in 1 day...
and the box said 2-4 years!
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︎ Oct 24 2020
When I was a kid it was free to use the air hose at the gas station. Now itβs $1
Thatβs inflation for ya
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︎ Apr 05 2021
What did 1 bean say to the other bean
π︎ 2
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︎ Jun 25 2021
Good news Scientist have found 1 food that is guaranteed to drop a womanβs sex drive by 50-75%.
Itβs called Wedding cake
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︎ Jun 04 2021
What did the German say when asked to skip a few when counting to 1,000?
Nien, Nien, Nien!
Germans donβt skip steps.
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︎ Jun 09 2021
How to earn a ton of money in 1 easy step
Put 5 female pigs and 5 male deers in your backyard.
Congratulations, you now have ten sows and bucks!
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︎ Mar 11 2021
I went to a zoo yesterday, It was awful! there was no animals there apart from 1 dog
π︎ 10
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︎ May 25 2021
I always wondered how Wonder woman travelled from Themyscira to London in 1 day...
I then realized she's an amazon, so she gets next day shipping
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︎ Mar 29 2021
This occurred to me at 1 am and Iβve never been more proud
π︎ 16
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︎ Jan 04 2021
I went to an orthodontist that only charged me $1
That's why I have buck teeth
π︎ 8
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︎ Mar 19 2021
2 of our friends came over at around 1 AM and to be honest, I was a bit embarrassed to let them in
Hadnβt cleaned the house all year
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︎ Jan 01 2021
I once got into a bar fight with the number 1. His friends 3, 5, 7, and 9 showed up to help him.
The odds were against me.
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︎ Aug 07 2020
Holiday to-do list: 1) shoot the family 2) hang the kids 3) frame the wife
$129.95 at JC Penny Portrait and Framing Studio
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︎ Dec 07 2020
What happens when you listen to a Death song 1,000 times?
It becomes a Megadeth song
π︎ 8
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︎ Jan 19 2021
Do you want to hear 2 short jokes and 1 long joke
Joke
Joke
Joooooooooooooooooooke
π︎ 15
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︎ Dec 03 2020
I said to the baker, "How come all your cakes are 50p & that one's Β£1?"
He said, "That's Madeira cake"
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︎ Nov 10 2020
My son was about to ask me 1 million questions about everything.
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 06 2020
How to Catch a Polar Bear: 1)Find a frozen lake 2)Dig a hole in the ice 3)Surround the hole with frozen peas 4)Hide nearby.
When the bear stops to take a pea, kick it in the ice hole!
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︎ Jul 04 2020
I went to cake shop and all the cakes were Β£1 except one which was Β£3...
I asked the shopkeeper why and he said "That's Madeira cake"
π︎ 10
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︎ Sep 25 2020
If I had $1,000,000, Iβd donate a quarter of it to charity.
Then Iβd have $999,999.75.
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︎ Jul 06 2018
Air at the gas station used to be free. Why is it $1.50 now?
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︎ Jul 29 2021
Air at the gas station used to be free, now it costs $1.50. Know why?
π︎ 11
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︎ Sep 12 2021
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals.
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︎ Jun 18 2021
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25 You know why?
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︎ Feb 17 2021
I can't remember how to write 1,1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals
π︎ 21
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︎ Jun 18 2021
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
π︎ 52
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︎ Feb 25 2021
I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day.
And the box said 2-4 years.
π︎ 72
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︎ Mar 26 2021
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
π︎ 8
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︎ Feb 25 2021
Do you know why air pumps at gas stations used to be free but are now $1.50?
π︎ 235
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︎ Nov 17 2020
I Canβt remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman Numerals
π︎ 9
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︎ Dec 28 2020
I canβt remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman Numerals
π︎ 9
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︎ Jan 05 2021
It used to be free to fill your car tire up with air. Now it coasts 1.50. You know why?
π︎ 11k
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︎ Jan 08 2019
Remember when they used to have air at the gas station for free? Now itβs $1.50
π︎ 12
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︎ Nov 17 2020
Air used to be free and now itβs 1.75 you know why?
π︎ 15
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︎ Dec 01 2020
I challenged number 1 to a fight
He bought he friends 3,5,7 and 9.
The odds were against me.
π︎ 37
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︎ Jul 11 2020
Air used to be free at gas stations, now it's $1.50. Know why?
π︎ 16
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︎ Nov 17 2020
I challenged number 1 to a fight, but he bought his friends 3, 5, 7, and 9
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︎ Aug 27 2019
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