A list of puns related to "T 80"
"Slayer?"
"No, I just shook my head."
My wife said it was a huge waist
Drinks straight from the bottle, she does!
That's the most stupidest thing that I've ever heard.
It takes lots of Dad-ication and years of Pun-ishment. To some it my seem im-Pa-ssible to learn how to make a good dad joke, But keep practicing and one day you may become Pop-ular
but since the 80s, I've only gone to the movies alone.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
So it wouldn't fall in the hot chocolate.
(Joke from my dad has been telling since the 80s.)
i joined this sub to expect jokes i would laugh at 80% of the time but the top ones most of the time just have title or i just don't get them.(but there are some i get:) and i was wondering if this sub is just for dads should i just leave?
His name is 80-HD.
"What percent?"
"I'm about 80% sure."
I replied βactually it cost me about $80β
80 HD, too much or too little focus
was surely the hot item to have in the 80's.
That 80 is the french equivalent of 420
Because I was born in the 80's and that makes me an eightieist.
//I'm not making this up.
But it was at its peak in the 80s.
Stolen and butchered from https://xkcd.com/2308: Title text was βIt's a good mountain but it really peaked in the 80s.β
It causes me to deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no Cure!
My dad is 80.....i'm 53. My sister gave him some stockings (like knee socks) from the Vatican that the Pope supposedly wears. Don't ask why it's not important. Odd gift but anyway.....
Dad: "Hmmm.... well that present couldn't be any holier."
Me: "Well if the socks had holes in them they would be holier."
My Dad: "jesus christ" <while stifling a chuckle>
my 20ish adult Kids: <blank stare and power down look>
I was so proud.
Hear me out... An 80's themed Chinese Restaurant called "The Wok of Life".
Q: Did you hear that U of Alabama's library burned? A: It's true! They lost all 3 of their coloring books!
Q: What do you call a beautiful girl on campus at U of A? A: A visitor!
Q: What do a maggot and a U of A fan have in common? A: They can both live off a dead bear for twenty years.
Q: How many Alabama fans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 80,001. 1 to change the bulb, 80,000 to talk about how great the old lightbulb was.
Q: How do you make Alabama cookies? A: Put em in a bowl and whip em for 60 minutes.
Q: Did you hear Saban was going to dress up 20 players for the Iron Bowl? A: The rest will have to dress themselves.
Q: Alabama is changing their mascot to the Opossums. A: They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Q: What do Alabama players get on their SATs? A: Drool.
War Eagle!!!
80 M
In their 80s with a slight handicap
So I asked him how can he lose 80% of the battery and still work with it.
She had just come back from walking our other dog. I asked her what the temperature was like outside, because it was supposed to get into the 70's.
She said, "It's nice, I only had to put on my jean jacket."
"So you're telling me it's in the 80's?"
I have been holding onto this one for quite some time and got to use it today, while on vacation. When selecting eggs, which were about $9.80, I said "Wow, would you say these are...EGGspensive?"
She responded with a big eye roll. I was super happy.
He took this out of his wallet. Apparently he's been caring it around since the 80s: http://imgur.com/ri2NcWR. Making dad jokes before he was even a dad!
Trying to write a nice birthday message to my grandfather who is turning 80 and loves Trains. Any suggestions?
So I had a productive day at work coming up with these Capital City puns a year ago today. Thought they were too good not to share!
Why did the Geordie arrange a holiday to Romania?
To book a rest!
Bob Mortimer was speaking to his comedy partner's wife saying he wanted to take him on a piss up to Iceland. When asked why he said:
I want to wreck ya vic!
Why should you never let a man go swimming in Finland with weights on his ankles?
Coz He'll sinky
What do people most commonly use toilet paper for in Bandar Seri Begawan?
Their Brunei
Catwoman bet her male counterpart he couldn't pronouce the capitol of Nepal. But cat man do.
Why was the Polish man rubbing his bollocks? Coz they warsaw.
I just came up with a cracking pun for Japan. Alas, all the wife could say was "What Tokyo so long?"
The ex Mrs McCartney got naked in East Germany in the 80s. She was known for years in the area as Bare-lin
Cheap flights to Russia still available! Book now! Everything Moscow!
The people of Bahamas think learning Capitol cities is Nassau important
The people of the Netherlands had a need to build a water driven power station as well as an overabundance of pork products. So they used 'Ams to Dam a river.
A husband and wife in the Phillipines were both very, very unwell. The woman was sick, but the man iller.
What's the average Senegalian's favoured mode of transport? Da car
Have you heard about the talking cat in Somalia that only throws insults? The Moggy Diss you
They are obsessed with John Cleese in Uruguay. They love a video of Fawlty towers almost as much as they love a Montevideo
People from Vietnam Hanoi the hell outta me
Rain storms are very rare in Zambia, but in Zimbabwe they Harera
Before you do a joke about Macedonia, let me Skopje right there
I've heard Swedish Ikea workers get stuff for free, they can just take Stockholm
If you are trying to eat Halal in Pakistan, Islamabad or good choice?
Explanation: the Russian word Π΄ΡΡΠ³ (drug, pronounced drook or droog) means male friend.
Can someone tell me the name of the 80s sitcom set in a bar with Ted Danson, cheers
As I work in a restaurant, a dad and his teenage son came for to go food order. When the dad had to sign the receipt, he asked whatβs the total to his son as he could not see properly. His son replied, itβs $80.65 canβt you see? Dad goes, βwait till you get to 46β His son being irritated, I asked, Whereβs do you see yourself in two years?β Son was speechless, and I told him, β I was checking if you had a 2020 visionβ The dad laughed in shame.
Me: βWeβre ten miles from Terre Haute and then another 80 to Indy.β
Dad: βIβve never been to Terre Haute but I bet we could have a Terre Hoot of a good time.β
I said "80, auntie"
My older sister recently had a new roommate move in and found that roommate to be a bit careless with shared items. She had recently just bought new ceramic knives and came home to find one of the tips broken off. Lamenting to my dad when she came home to visit she exclaimed "$80 knife I just bought is already broken", slamming the broken knife down on the counter.
My dad without missing a beat, looks up from his book, straight faced and says "Well, this is why you can't have knife things."
Last summer, my girlfriend and I went camping. One of the days, we were having lunch by a river (a kind of a picnic sort of thing). Now, I talk a lot when I eat, so she finished eating waaaaay before I did. Once she was finished, she took to the water to cool off while I continued munching away.
Now, I guess she must have slipped or something, because all of a sudden I heard a cry and she was just gone. Washed away. I saw her head bob above the surface probably 20 yards downstream, and moving fast towards some rapids (probably 100-150 yards away). So I'm pretty panicked at this point, but she manages to grab onto a low-hanging branch (just like in a movie or something). She's coughing and sputtering and hollering for help, trying to keep a grip on the branch.
So, I set down my avocado I'd been snacking on and walked out into the water. "hurry! I can't hold on much longer," she's yelling. I kept walking towards her, but the bottom of the river was so muddy that it was probably pretty slow. She started to get angry with me "SWIM over here! Why are you walking? Please hurry!" She yelled, with great urgency. All in all, it took me probably 8 minutes to cover the 80 yards or so to get to her. After I rescued her, she was super mad for some reason. She was all "I almost died, why were you going so slow? Who does that? What's wrong with you?"
"Well," I said. "Good things are worth wading for."
Back in the late 80's, my dad had a joke he loved to tell everyone he met. It went something like this:
I was driving down the road and ended up behind this ambulance with its rear door open. I tried honking and flashing my lights to get their attention about it, but they didn't seem to notice. As they turned the corner away from us, a small cooler fell out. I pulled over to rescue the cooler, and when I opened it, I found a human toe, on ice.
At this point, the victim of the joke is supposed to ask what he did with the toe. He responds with "I called the Tow Truck!" and hearty laughter.
Being the 1980's, e-mail wasn't prevalent, and calling long distance could get expensive, so he communicated with his out of state family primarily through mailed letters. He wrote this joke (sans punchline) in a letter to his mom. Not knowing it was a joke, she told the story to her friends and family. My aunt heard this story, and told it to her classes (she's a teacher) and one of her students actually got in a fight with his mom who said that could never happen.
A month or two later, we were getting together for a holiday and the toe story came up in conversation. My dad replied that he called the tow truck, and his laughter was met with horrified stares. By this time, nearly everyone in the small town was enthralled with this amazing story that my grandma had told about her son who lived in the city. She was imagining all of the people she had to contact to tell the real story to. Many took it in stride, but others were quite annoyed. Especially my aunt, who had to apologize to every one of her classes at school.
TLDR: A dad joke with no punch line doesn't belong in a letter.
Edit: I was not born in the 80βs I will not get any of the references
80 M
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