When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.
My dad asked me to hand out invitations for my brothers surprise birthday party...
That's when I realised he was the favourite twin.
Why can’t you ever surprise Darth Vader at Christmas?
Because he always senses your presents.
I bought my son a car accessory as a surprise but my wife told him what is was before I gave it to him.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Much to my surprise they added a roundabout on my route to work.
It really threw me for a loop.
Why can't you surprise plastic containers?
My wife brought home a parakeet yesterday. When she comes home, she’s in for a surprise because ...
Toucan play at this game.
How do you surprise a pokémon?
Visiting my parents for the first time since COVID. He has taken up cropdusting people and proclaiming, "Surprise health check." To make sure you can smell and/or taste still.
Sorry not a witty one-liner but peak of dad humor.
To my surprise, my physician was the Mediterranean Sea
I guess C’s really do get degrees
Nade is buying meat for your proposal surprise party.
This just happened: I explained to my 11 year-old niece that wheat pennies are/were a thing. She didn’t believe me, so she looked it up on grandma’s phone. To our surprise, we learned that there are some people selling wheat pennies online for *thousands* to *TENS* *of* *thousands* of dollars.
To which I said, “That doesn’t make cents.”
I don't know if it's coincidence, but both my kids absolutely love surprise eggs. They're obsessed with them!
And neither of them were planned!
I was going to get a tattoo in Madrid, but the tattoo artist I wanted to go to got in trouble for making some anti government tattoo art, which was quite a surprise
No one expects the Spanish ink sedition
There was once a scientist doing research on some microscopic organisms. To his surprise he found out that a particular species was completely homosexual.
I recently visited Washington state for the first time. Much to my surprise, it ended up being a warm and sunny day when I arrived! Put on a tank top, threw on some shades, and picked up an iced latte. I took a stroll through the park near the Space Needle and had a wonderful time.
I guess you could say I was sleeveless in Seattle
I was searching pinterest for Ghost (band) wallpapers. This was a pleasant surprise.
Dankmemes is shit but sometimes it surprises me
When I was 10 my Mom told me to take my brother to a movie so she could set up for his surprise birthday party.
That was when I realized he was her
favorite twin, not me.
Rumors have it my roommate is going to surprise me with a set of loudspeakers
I don't like the sound of it
Surprise pun struck me as I was connecting to someone's WiFi
I came home from a long day of work to find a surprise my girlfriend left me!
imgur.com/a/9nOTA
Which of Harry Potters spells never surprises anyone?
This bar joke caught me by surprise
A weasel walks into a bar.
The Bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get you?"
"Pop," goes the weasel.
My girlfriend said it’d really be a nice birthday surprise if I got her something to run around in.
So I bought her a tracksuit.
Sometimes my genius surprises even me [OC]
I got an early flight home so I decided to surprise my wife. Got home about 10 PM. Walked in my bedroom, and to my COMPLETE surprise, there is my wife in bed with my best friend. I couldn't believe it.
I then yelled for my dog to get off the bed.
Surprise dad joke from my wife
I will preface this by saying I work in IT.
The other day we were watching tv when my son started playing in front of the screen. The first statement I could come up with was “you’ve got to sit down your dad’s not a glassmaker”
My wife’s response was “but he does work with Windows”
I am a proud husband.
A wife finds out she's pregnant and wants to surprise her husband with the news...
"Honey, I'm pregnant!"
"Are you kidding me?"
"That's another way of saying it, I guess, yeah."
All Chemistry exam questions contain trace amounts of the element of surprise.
It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow and she’s wanted to get a new cat (recently lost our old one), so my son and I got a cat from the animal shelter, put her gently into a large gift bag and brought her home. Before I could shut my driver door my son ran inside and ruined the surprise...
Can’t believe he let the cat out of the bag.
A bee-g surprise (x-post: r/funny)
Every time I leave work early to surprise my wife, she always greets me with these three special words.
The dinner I was cooking for my family was going to be a surprise but the fire trucks ruined it.
My cousins from Barcelona came for a surprise visit weeks ago. They're still here!
I didn't expect the Spanish imposition...
I wanted to surprise my wife by buying a dairy farm...
She had a cow when I told her.
The number of cursing parrot videos shouldn't surprise you.
Parrots love fowl language.
I told the bartender to surprise me with a drink. He pulled out ice and tape. I asked him what he was making.
He said “Scotch on the Rocks”
What do you call the surprise Pokemon?
There was a knock at the door the other day and to my surprise, it was a kitchen sink!
He said "I hear you have everything but me." So I let that sink in.
It's really no surprise the Taiwanese are so personable.
They all have Taipei personalities!
I was able to get an early flight home so I decided to surprise my wife. Got home about 10 PM. Walked in my bedroom, and to my complete surprise, there is my wife in bed with my best friend. I couldn't believe it.
I then yelled for my dog to get off the bed.
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