Subject to Change Puns

"Ok, more chores around the house need to be done by you."

I'm glad it rained today so I don't need to water the lawn. Anyone else feel like pizza for dinner?

I told them that I would shift as best I could...

I know this topic has been done to death in here and I apologise to the mods for bringing it up again but recent "jokes" have made me question what the point of this sub is.

I'd like to not have a discussion about "should we let NSFW jokes here or not" instead I think it should be important to understand what everyone thinks their defenition of a dadjoke actually is.

Before I say my definition I want to make it clear that I whole heartedly enjoy good NSFW jokes and I'm a regular visitor to r/unclejokes.

My defenition: a good dadjoke is something that is usually based around a bad pun or clever word play that makes people around you groan or roll their eyes, similar to the types of jokes you find in Christmas crackers, they are so bad that they are good. The language involved can sometimes be a bit NSFW depending on the subject material but on the whole if you change things about a bit your can make it suitable for most ages. It is the type of joke where when you tell it everyone's first reaction is to complain how bad it is before then secretly uttering a chuckle themselves.

I want to know what everyone else's definition of a dadjoke is so that we can see what everyone thinks. The old "it's a dadjoke because I'm a dad and I'm telling a joke" I just don't think is an accurate enough description so trying to get a better one.

Thank you.

I change the subject to earthquakes.

As a group of robbers entered the bank, their leader went to the manager and asked him to open the vault. He threatened the manager by saying, "If you try to do anything smart, you're geography." The manager was confused and asked him, "Don't you mean 'You are history'?" The robber angrily replied back, "Don't you dare change the subject, okay?"

One morning at a bank, a robber pulled out a gun, pointed it at a teller, and said, "Give me all the money or you're geography!"

The puzzled teller asked, "Did you mean to say 'or you're history'?"

The robber replied, "Don't change the subject!"

So once upon a time, there was a planet shaped like a cheerio. A small moon made of milk or tied the planet, going through the center of the donut shaped world. On this planet, lived an interesting species. They acted and lived similarly to us humans? But looked just like large Cheerios (with footings hands and feet like miis) Within this society there were levels of Cheerios: original, honey nut, and finally frosted. The originals were the backbone of the economy, doing the herd labor while the honey nuts ran the businesses and the frosted Cheerios (the top of the top) led the world. Our story today focuses on a single Cheerio. Born into an original Cheerio family, this lad learned the hard way how to work. From a young age, he was forced to get a job in the local milk refinery, where his dad worked. He grew up, and soon had a family of his own. His wife, son, and daughter all worked hard, but were happy. One day walking home from school, the kids found a runaway honey nut Cheerio pup, and decided to keep him. It wasn’t much, but it inspired our little Cheerio friend here. One day, he got fed up with taking orders, and demanded a raise. His entire family has worked in this one factory for three generations, and he wanted to move up in the world, not just for him but also his kids. His old boss however, did not have the power to promote this Cheerio, and he was forced to make a life changing decision: he would go to the refinery company and use every penny in the family savings account (under the bed) to try and get a higher position. After waiting on line for over a week, his appoint was finally here. After bickering and bargaining for hours, the refinery company boss saw a spark in this lad’s eye. He agreed to give this Cheerio a promotion to the honored honey nut glaze in exchange for everything this man owned, including the family’s prized honey nut dog. Was it worth it? Well pretty soon he owned his own milk refinery and was able to breed his own honey nut dogs, so yes, yes it was. Owning and operating the refinery went smoothly. Milk was transported from the moon to the planet using space busses, and the milk itself was funneled down to the refineries using large straws. After the milk was ready to drink, it was shipped off to be sold. He was happy working here, but eventually he realized it wasn’t enough. This Cheerio, once a simple original Cheerio wanted to follow the “American dream” and do the best he could. He wanted to become a frosted Ch

One of the classic  Abbott and Costello  routines, where Bud Abbott takes advantage of a common math mistake that we all make to fleece his pal, Lou Costello, out of all of his money.  The skit ends with a simple ‘read my mind’ routine that takes Lou’s last remaining bill.  This routine was done  many  times, both in the movies and their radio show.

Bud Abbott: Do me a favor, loan me $50.
Lou Costello: Bud, I can’t. I can’t loan you $50.
Bud Abbott: Oh, yes, ya can.
Lou Costello: No, I can’t. All I got is $40.
Bud Abbott: All right, give me the $40 and you’ll owe me 10  
Lou Costello: Ok, I’ll owe you 10.
Bud Abbott: That’s right.
Lou Costello: How come I owe you 10?
Bud Abbott: How much did I ask for?
Lou Costello: 50
Bud Abbott: How much did you give me?
Lou Costello: 40.
Bud Abbott: So you owe me $10.
Lou Costello: That’s right.  [Pause] But you owe me 40.
Bud Abbott: Don’t change the subject.
Lou Costello: I’m not changing the subject; you’re trying to change my finances. Come on, Abbott give me my $40.
Bud Abbott: All right, there’s your $40, now give me the 10 you owe me.
Lou Costello: I’m paying you on account.
Bud Abbott: On account?
Lou Costello: On account I don’t know how I owe it to ya.
Bud Abbott: That’s the way you feel about it, that’s the last time I ask you for a loan of $50.
Lou Costello: But how can I loan ya $50, now. All I got is 30.
Bud Abbott: Well, give me the 30 and you’ll owe me 20.
Lou Costello: Ok. This is getting worse all the time. (Look at audience) First I owe him 10, now I owe him 20.
Bud Abbott: Well, why do you run yourself into debt?
Lou Costello: I’m not running in, you’re pushing me!1
Bud Abbott: I can’t help it if you can’t handle your finances. I do all right with my money.
Lou Costello: And you do all right with my money too.
Bud Abbott: Now I asked you for a loan of $50. You gave me 30, so you owe me 20. 20 and 30 is 50.
Lou Costello: No. No. No. 25 and 25 is 50.
Bud Abbott: All right, here’s your $30, now give me the 20 you owe me. Fine guy, won’t loan a pal $50.

My kiddo is great, so smart and after one of our amazing conversations on such subjects as climate change while listening to NPR, devised this meme together :)

https://imgur.com/gallery/hwHqb

I was driving with my permit and my Dad was in the passenger seat. He is notoriously good with directions (and at the time I was unfamiliar with our whereabouts), we are approaching a dead end stop sign (I can only turn left or right). I proceed to ask my dad about 30 yards away from the intersection if it was faster to go left or right (to our destination) he simply replies "yes."

Anytime I bring it up now he just chuckles and changes the subject.

Celebrating my brother's birthday with a pizza party. Jokes were already starting about how much pizza I had eaten that night when my dad decided to change the subject and share a story about how he learned to speak Portuguese. Then I said, "I'm fluent in morepizzaplease."

Both my co-worker and I are artists, we tend to spend our lunches talking about painting and classes.

Yesterday we got on the subject of Painting Elephant Galleries (it's a thing people!) when another co-worker appeared to get bored of our conversation and tried to change the subject;

His response was to quickly follow up her tangent with "Well, that's completely Irrelephant"

Me: Can we change the subject?

My wife: Okay. More chores around the house need to be done by you.

Me: Can we change the subject?

Her: Ok. More chores around the house need to be done by you.