Steve Hanley Puns

Article, #5

>in the case of one of the show's most memorable bad guys (the "Trinity Killer," played by a sometimes-naked John Lithgow), Dexter talks to him several times on his cellphone before killing him. Apparently the Miami police don't bother checking up on the phone records when someone disappears.

Dexter used a burner phone when talking to Trinity, same goes for other victims like Tooth Fairy or Travis. In season 4 episode 11, Dexter reacts to ringing and grabs for his phone, but then realizes that his second cell phone is ringing.

>He doesn't walk up to his victims in an alley and stab them in a way that could be mistaken for a random mugging. He prepares a ritualistic "murder room" full of artifacts from the killer's victims, and covers the walls and surfaces with plastic to prevent any DNA evidence from getting anywhere.

That's.... that's the point. You don't want a body, you don't want forensic evidence just laying there to be thoroughly investigated. The only way Dexter could get caught after the fact would be through a murder investigation, which his process eliminates. Plus, he doesn't want to just "stab them in an alley", do you not understand anything about how fucking disturbed this character is?

>Even Dexter's bank is complicit by completely ignoring his charges

Except Dexter keeps all of his assets in cash, as stated by James Doakes in season 2.

>And he has to be storing all of this stuff somewhere when he's not using it.

Ever seen that big black trunk he keeps his kill supplies in? The one that is shown literally every 2-3 episodes?

After this he makes semi-valid points about Brian's murder and plastic disposal, but for the bulk of it he clearly didn't watch the show with much attention to detail whatsoever.

Competition: UEFA Euro 2020

Date: 18/06/2021 20:00 BST

Venue: Wembley Stadium, London, England

Referee: Mateu Lahoz (Spain)

Lineups

England (4-3-3):

Jordan Pickford, Reece James, John Stones, Tyrone Mings, Luke Shaw, Kalvin Phillips, Declan Rice, Mason Mount, Phil Foden, Harry Kane, Raheem Sterling

Substitutes: Harry Maguire, Jack Grealish, Jordan Henderson, Marcus Rashford, Kieran Trippier, Aaron Ramsdale, Conor Coady, Jadon Sancho, Dominic Calvert-Lewin, Ben Chilwell, Sam Johnstone, Jude Bellingham

Manager: Gareth Southgate

Scotland (3-5-2):

David Marshall, Grant Hanley, Scott McTominay, Kierna Tierney, Stephen O'Donnell, Callum McGregor, Billy Gilmour, John McGinn, Andrew Robertson, Che Adams, Lyndon Dykes

Substitutes: Ryan Christie, Craig Gordon, John Fleck, Liam Cooper, Stuart Armstrong, Kevin Nisbet, Ryan Fraser, Jon McLaughlin, Nathan Patterson, Jack Henry James Forest, Scott McKenna

Manager: Steve Clarke

Match updates:

0’: Scotland get us underway at Wembley after both sides take the knee against discrimination

11’: Off the post! John Stones gets free in the box from a corner and gets up brilliantly, but his header comes back off the inside of the post! So close for England

16’: John McGinn gets booked for dissent

30’: Great save from Pickford! Kieran Tierney gets down the left and puts the ball into Stephen O’Donnell, who volleys towards goal, but Pickford gets down well to push the ball away and Che Adams can’t get the rebound

Halftime: Both teams have had chances but an overall lackluster first half. Hopefully the second half is better quality

61': England make a substitution as Jack Grealish comes on for Phil Foden

62': Off the line! The ball falls to Lyndon Dykes from a corner who turns and shoots at goal but Reece James clears the ball off the line!

74': Marcus Rashford comes on for Harry Kane as England try and find a breakthrough

76' Scotland make their first substitution as Stuart Armstrong comes on for Billy Gilmour

87': Yellow card for Stephen O'Donnell after he chops down Jack Grealish

Fulltime: The game finishes 0-0, which is definitely a better result for Scotland than England. Despite an overall lack of quality from both teams, Scotland defended very well in the second half and even had a few chances of their own. Dissapointing performance from England who will hope to perform much better against Czech Republic

I see Joanna Crider on Cleantech has run with u/OhSillyDays post about oil refineries closing in Norway. Their post is https://www.reddit.com/r/electricvehicles/comments/rw4ejk/norway_exxon_refinery_closed_due_to_falling/

Congratulations u/OhSillyDays for helping bring the news of the refineries closure to a wider audience, and kick starting a debate on its implications.

Disclaimer. I haven't read the article, because I find her writing lazy and poorly poorly researched, often just lift and shift from other sites. This in contrast to other contributors like Steve Hanley, Joseph Portes, Zachary Shahan or Maximillian Holland. I'm often astonished by disparity in the quality of articles on that site.

I made all time teams for all 30 squads, and put them into seeds to make a “March madness” style bracket.

Rules:

Round one last 48 hours, rounds 2-finish will be 24 hours

Each player can only be used once. This made it extremely tough to pick teams for guys who were great on multiple teams

I will comment the matchups, upvote the team you think would win

Each team has a DH, as it makes the matchups easier to evaluate

All teams are on 3 man rotations

The matchups are based on the seeds I made, I’ll say what my rankings are after the bracket is done

Round 1:

Byes (1 and 2 seed, so the round 2 is 16 teams): Yankees and Cards

Matchups:

Giants vs Rays

Giants-

1. Cf- Willie Mays

2. Rf- Mel Ott

3. DH- Barry Bonds

4. 1b- Willie Mccovey

5. Lf- Bobby Bonds

6. 2b- Jeff Kent

7. C- Buster Posey

8. 3b- Matt Williams

9. Ss- Travis Jackson

P- Christy Matthewson

Rays-

1. LF- Carl Crawford

2. 2b- Ben Zobrist

3. 1b- Carlos Pena

4. 3b- Evan Longoria

5. RF- BJ (Melvin) Upton

6. DH- Corey Dickerson

7. SS- Julio Lugo

8. C- Jon Jaso

9. CF- Kevin Kiermier

P. David Price

Red Sox vs Royals

1. CF- tris speaker

2. SS- Nomar Garciaparra

3. DH- Ted Williams

4. 1b- David Ortiz

5. RF- Carl Yastrzemski

6. LF- Jim Rice

7. 3b- Wade Boggs

8. C- Carlton Fisk

9. 2b- Dustin Pedroia

P- Cy Young

Royals-

1. CF- Willie Wilson

2. RF- Amos Otis

3. 3b- George Brett

4. 1b- John Mayberry

5. DH- Mike Sweeney

6. LF- Hal Mcrae

7. C- Salvador Perez

8. 2b- Frank White

9. SS- Alcides Escobar

P- Brett Saberhagen

Cubs vs Blue Jays

Cubs-

1. 2b- Ryne Sandberg

2. LF- Billy Williams

3. CF- Hack Wilson

4. SS- Ernie Banks

5. Rf- Sammy Sosa

6. 1b- Cap Anson

7. 3b- Ron Santo

8. DH- Derek Lee

9. C- Gabby Hartnet

P- Fergie Jenkins

Blue Jays

1. 2b- Roberto Alomar

2. SS- Tony Fernandez

3. DH- Carlos Delgado

4. 1b- Fred Mcgriff

5. RF- Jose Bautista

6. 3b- Josh Donaldson

7. LF- George Bell

8. CF- Vernon Wells

9. C- Russell Martin

P- Roy Halliday

Reds vs Diamondbacks

Diamond backs-

1. Cf- Steve Finley

2. 2b- Ketel Marte

3. 1b- Paul Goldschmidt

4. LF- Luis Gonzalez

5. DH- Justin Upton

6. RF- AJ Pollock

7. 3b- Mark Reynolds

8. C- Miguel Montero

9. SS- Stephen Drew

P- Randy Johnson

Reds

1. 2b- Joe Morgan

2. DH- Pete Rose

3. LF- George Foster

4. C- Johnny Bench

5. 1b- Joey Votto

6. SS- Barry Larkin

7. 3b- Tony Perez

8. RF- Vada Pinson

9. Cf- Eric Davis

P- Jose Rijo

A’s vs Padres

Do your worst!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

12:30pm

Chelsea 0-1 Man City - FT (Jesus 53')

• Chelsea
  • Mendy, Christensen, Rüdiger, Azpilicueta, Kovacic, Kanté, Jorginho, Alonso, James, Werner, Lukaku.
• Manchester City
  • Ederson, Laporte, Dias, Cancelo, Walker, Rodri, Kevin De Bruyne, Bernardo Silva, Foden, Grealish, Jesus.
• Key Events:
  • 29' Substitution, Chelsea. Thiago Silva replaces Reece James because of an injury.
  • 34' Rodri unleashed a monstrous piledriver. He controlled a pass, glanced up at goal and shot from the edge of the box. It could have been a difficult one for the keeper, but the ball fortunately hit one of the defenders and ball bounced away. It will be a corner kick for Manchester City.
  • 43' Gabriel Jesus threw away a promising scoring opportunity. He received a fine cross inside the 6-yard box, but missed to the left of the target. The ball goes out of play and Chelsea will have a goal kick.
  • 49' Grealish steadies himself on the edge of the box and releases a precise effort on goal that just narrowly sails past the right post. The ball is off of the pitch and it's a goal kick for Chelsea.
  • 53' GOAL! Gabriel Jesus receives the ball inside the box, reacts quickly and without any problems stabs the ball low inside the left post.
  • 58' Nice individual effort by Jack Grealish. He gets all the way through to the keeper and hits a low drive to the bottom right corner, but Mendy does a good job to anticipate the direction of the ball and keeps it out. Manchester City earn a corner.
  • 60' N'Golo Kante will be replaced by Kai Havertz.
  • 62' Gabriel Jesus gets to the rebound and shoots, but the effort is blocked.
  • 63' A goal, which was scored by Lukaku, was disallowed due to offside.
  • 65' This yellow card was deserved. The tackle by Laporte was quite harsh.
  • 71' Kovacic takes a shot from the edge of the box, but it's not a big threat for the goalkeeper as his effort is blocked by a defender. Chelsea force a corner.
  • 76' Substitution. Jorginho makes his way off the pitch and Ruben Loftus-Cheek comes on as his replacement.
  • 77' Yellow card to Alonso for his blatant foul.
  • 78' Christensen is booked after bringing down an opponent.
  • 79' Laporte collects the ball from the free kick and immediately sends his close-range effort narrowly wide of the left post!
  • 81' Substitution. Kevin De Bruyne is replaced by Riyad Mahrez.
  • 84' Grealish takes a great touch after receiving a pass inside the box. He imme

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

#St Louis Blues at Dallas Stars

#American Airlines Center

Comment with all tables

#In-Game Updates

• Referee: Steve Kozari
• Referee: Mitch Dunning
• Linesman: Brandon Gawryletz
• Linesman: Bryan Pancich

##Time

##Watch, Listen and Talk:

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac