Star Bright Puns

My dad is a Navy Vietnam vet who is about to be a retired GM electrical engineer. He is retiring against his will because he has had three strokes, colon cancer, a pulmonary embolism, necrotic esophagus, renal failure, pneumonia, basically a medical shitstorm and he survived it all. In the process, he has lost a lot of memory and quite a bit of his cognitive abilities and furthermore, his balance. However, when I took out the trash tonight at nearly half past ten, I couldn't help but notice how beautiful the stars looked outside tonight. So upon returning, I told my mom and dad "The stars sure are bright tonight. They look amazing." To which my dad then asked, "You know why they're so bright, right?" Now I'm an amateur astronomer. Hell, my first and only telescope was inherited to me by my mother who got it from her father. So knowing its winter and I live in Michigan, I tell my father, "Because its so cold and dry, the star light isn't blocked as much?" His reply; "No. Its because the sun went down. So now its darker outside." Dad: 1. Me: -5.

...it's squid pro quo.

A friend an I were driving home when I noticed two bright stars in the sky I knew to be planets.

Me: "Do you know what planets those are?"

Him: "I don't know... Mars and Venus?".

Me: "I'm pretty sure they're Venus and Jupiter"

Him: "Yeah, I had no idea. I just pulled two planet names out of my..."

Me: "Uranus?"

Background: we were watching a presentation of Dark Matters (specethingie), when the speaker, definitely a dad, started talking about stars.

Son: i'm feeling really bright today dad. Dad: you really are my son

Needless to say, the entire audience were in tears