Don't be put off by the name (which they mention in the film is an outdated term). It is as if the writer got inspiration directly from this sub.
I continue to have some pretty terrible luck in the area of romance. I was a very late bloomer in terms of dating in that I didn't have my first relationship until I was 26. That one ended abruptly because my ex wanted to get back with his ex, then I was in an abusive relationship last year, and my third and most recent relationship ended because my ex's sister convinced him to break up with me. There is a lot of background I could provide with my most recent break-up, but I am at the point where I'm just so tired of dating mainly because they keep ending in what seems like very unfair and heartbreaking ways.
I feel like I am a pretty decent catch. I have several advanced degrees, I am quite successful in my career and support myself completely, I have a solid friend group with many long-term friendships, I do a fair amount of internal work (therapy, meditation, journaling, affirmations)...so what seems to be the issue? I had a moment last night where I started sobbing in my car on the way back from the grocery store and decided that I'm done feeling this way. I'm done putting effort into relationships that leave me feeling so disappointed, disrespected, and unappreciated. I'm tired of meeting someone, building a fantastic relationship, breaking up, and then realizing I have to start all over again. It's exhausting and I'm tired of my energy not being reciprocated.
Anyone else currently experiencing this? What support can you offer?
(Please be gentle--I'm still working through my most recent break-up so I'm looking for kindness, support, and compassion)
Edit: Wow! I shared this to blow off some steam and to express how I'm feeling right now, but I didn't quite expect so much support! Thank you all for such kind words--they really mean a lot to me right now 😊❤️
So I'm in my late twenties and despite dreaming of getting married since my childhood, I've realized that being single all my life would be a better choice for me. I've never been in a relationship. So any advice for someone like me who wants to choose life as a spinster?
Also if you recommend any book, movie, TV series or podcast that can help, it would be much appreciated.
At work the other day my older coworker was talking about having decorations around the office for holidays. He brought up valentine's day and I said we don't have any for that. He jokingly (I think) called me a spinster, but it was like a stab to the heart. I wanted to reply asking if he still lives in the 50s but I was just stunned. After he left I actually ended up tearing up. I know, pathetic.
Something about the word just gets to me so badly. I think because it's specific to all the anxiety and depression I have being alone. And the judgment from other people because of it. Also the fact that there's no male equivalent has me bitter and angry. It just makes me feel such shame.
I don't know how to stop letting it effect me so much.
So I’m a black woman (27) and very single. I have not had a bf in over three years. The ppl I liked in school didn’t like me back. Certain popular YouTube lives have essentially explained there is nothing less desirable to men than a debt ridden, young professional like myself. I was always insecure about my path and it’s really triggered me. Men, is it really over for me? Just let me know now.
UPDATE I want to thank each and every one of you, across the spectrum for your responses and discussions.I was really upset when I posted this, but even when the responses weren't what I wanted to hear, ways to move forward were provided.This is the most I've engaged with others in years, even if it's anonymously online. It's been incredible.
Main Take-Aways -Stop thinking about Men in overly broad terms. The thread shows so many different perspectives
-When men express what they want, and I don't fit the script, don't take it personally
-Stop being shy and present my best self (physically/personality-wise)
-Figure out what traditional/modern balance I truly want. Sacrifice and compromise are inevitable
-My debt might actually be the prominent source of my insecurities
-Tackle my debt at all costs
-Confidence doesn't have to be cockiness. A relationship is something I want so I have to go for it, or shut up and knit.
Thanks again
Poor and middle-class women probably ended up in the streets, or in workhouses (or any other refuge, hospice or institution their country had, I guess?), but could upper-class women, with enough assets to live the rest of their lives comfortably without a man in their house, simply stay without any male custodian?
Were there things that their status of minors didn't allow them to do (other than voting), and was the lack of a custodian a disadvantage in their daily life?
I feel like I'm never going to have a real/lasting relationship. I've just turned 30 and never been in a relationship past a couple of months. Even my younger siblings have been more relationships than I. And both have been with their current partners for over 2 years now.
Cantelope
F27 here.
i have been alone for the past five years. my last relationship broke me, as i learned that the boy i’d been in love with for 2 years actually would have prefered dating his other friend than me. we were together for a year. he managed to convince me men do not want love - do not want companionship, a life to share, a family.
i had to come back from this - tbh i still really haven’t, especially if my last experience has been with an arse who’s basically ripped my heart in two and broke any form of self esteem i might have had back then. and it wasn’t much. my past relationships were damaging and non consensual.
i have been alone for 5 years. and trust me, i’ve tried. the men i’ve ‘almost’ dated in the meantime turned out to be incels, racists and freakin mussolini apologists. two men I actually respected turned me down last year. i only know women. i don’t go out much. i feel so out of touch from the rest of the world. all of my friends are in happy, stable relationships.
and here i am waiting for what? my mister darcy? for anyone to see something in me that i might not even have? i am full of love, yet shy, traumatised, and invisible. how can i ask of someone to handle me, my traumas, my triggers, my depression, my everything? i am turning into someone sour, someone envious of others’ happiness. i can barely stand who i am.
i’m tired of being alone, of nobody waiting for me when i come home. how do i process this?
Yes, of course the title is a) an invention of mine 😄 and b) just meant to grab your attention 😊 But if you can recommend me any novels to console me as I enter my own spinsterhood, I will no less be very grateful. Thank you
I strongly think this would make for a fascinating video as it checks all boxes.
Remote rural village. Intricate (really intricate) multigenerational feud. Old spinsters convincing others to kill. Killing and maiming of innocents. Killing and maiming of cops. Trials. Suicides. Psyquiatric hospitals. Absolutely no regrets. Epic one liners.
There is plenty of interesting photographic evidence and the events are really well documented. Both movies and documentaries have been made on this.
The English wiki lacks a lot of the details but there's loads of info in Spanish.
English wiki:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puerto_Hurraco_massacre
Just becuase someone has eggs frozen doesn make them not become a spinster with a lot of cats. She clearly doesnt accept Whitney as is. Babs rubbing Whitney's arm and coddling her says it all. whitney is a bulldozing bigmouth with no respect for anyone.
I am 33 with an ugly face, i'm fat and most important i have a prominent limp.
Growing up when girls were getting boyfriends. I was scowling at the bullies for the latest batch of taunts. I know from a young age that no one saw me as a person with any value.
It was always pitying glances from teachers when i had to work on projects alone, having no friends and quickly losing trust in the world, becoming guarded.
I had one guy interested in fwb when i was 22. I stupidly slept with a guy i barely knew because i no longer wanted to be a virgin. After that he ghosted me so i look at that as a one night stand. Found out later from his brother that he slept with me because he knew i was a sure thing.
I had a guy date me for 6 months only to tell me it was a joke, same guy now married to my sister.
I give up. I've always known that no one would want me and i'd end up alone My grandma said i was a spinster in the making. She's right. I already have a cat so I'm all set.
I absolutely love historical romance books, especially with a hmc that finds herself and becomes confident within herself throughout the book. I especially love spinster ( or on the verge of spinsterhood) romances where they’ve their chance at love. I loved reading The Wallflower Wager by Tessa Dare and was wondering if anyone knows any books like it? Like a sweet heartwarming book. I also love highlander books if anyone has any refs for those! Thanks
Hi all.
I read the most of Sara Maclean her books and I absolutely love '9 rules to break when romancing a rake". I also read the Wallflowers from Lisa Kleypas. Loved it.
Recently I read about a similar book, about a spinster who wanted control of her own life and who made a list with stuff that she wanted to do, but she needed the help of a certain rake. Unfortunately I can't find the book anymore.
Do you have any suggestions?
So I'm in my late twenties and despite dreaming of getting married since my childhood, I've realized that being single all my life would be a better choice for me. I've never been in a relationship. So any advice for someone like me who wants to choose life as a spinster?
Also if you recommend any book, movie, TV series or podcast that can help, it would be much appreciated.
So I'm in my late twenties and despite dreaming of getting married since my childhood, I've realized that being single all my life would be a better choice for me. I've never been in a relationship. So any advice for someone like me who wants to choose life as a spinster?
Also if you recommend any book, movie, TV series or podcast that can help, it would be much appreciated.
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