Why does a baby duck walk softly?
Well it’s a baby. It can’t walk hardly.
My wife asked me why I was speaking so softly at home...
...I told her I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening! She laughed. I laughed. Alexa laughed.
Tread softly.
A police officer radioed to headquarters: "Chief we've got a situation here. A woman just shot her husband for walking on a freshly mopped floor."
Chief: "Did you arrest her?"
Officer: "Not yet. The floor's still wet."
I gave the dog a bath today and the wife noticed how soft she was and asked “Did you condition her?”
So I said “yeah, I rang a bell and then fed her”
A guy I know just bought a bunch (almost a shit-ton) of soft foam footballs and kerosene...
I think his plans are Nerfarious.
Why is Pavlov’s hair so soft??
Because he conditioned it. 😂
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
What goes in hard then comes out soft?
Bubble gum
"See ya later said the blind man!"
I wanted to make a new soft drink called Emotions
But my therapist thought that was a bad idea. He said it was not healthy to bottle emotions. Others told me that the product would fizz in sales.
Tongue, Teeth, Saliva, Roof, Soft Palate, Hard Palate, Uvuula, Taste Buds, Gums...
Wow, that was really a mouthful...
What state is famously known for selling small soft drinks?
Which U.S. state is famous for its extra-small soft drinks??
When asked whether his former coach liked artificially flavored sugary soft drinks, Lionel Messi replied
In the battle of the mint - the spearmint attacked the soft mints - all they could yell was..
"Where are the reinforcemints"
The man working the bar tonight was real soft.
We can't decide whether to put in soft pink or baby blue flooring in the nursery
It's an infantile problem
A man told me that throwing my drinks at him wouldn't hurt because I only drink soft drinks. But he was laid out when I threw a can of Arizona.
I guess he didn't expect a my tea throw.
What do you call the soft tissue between a shark’s teeth?
People who use sleeping bags in the woods are soft tacos for bears.
I had to quit my last job, all I did was test soft drinks
The doctor thinks I have erectile dysfunction.
I told him I have no hard feelings.
Hard pour corn vs soft pour corn
My dad has been going through a lot of hard ships lately…
He dismantles them for a living.
My wife's handbag is sorely in need of replacement. I offered to get her a new soft leather one, but she declined.
I guess she's not easily purse-sueded.
In Italy there is a group pf moms creating soft cheese...
They brand themselves as MOMzarella...
Where were small soft drinks invented?
There's an Amazon Forest but no Microsoft Forest - why is that?
My son threw a soda at my head today: So I told him I’m lucky it was a soft drink!
I used to work for a soft drink can crusher.
My friend plays classical music to his pet oysters, which he places stones within the soft tissue of their bivalves...
He makes cultured pearls.
Bigfoot often gets confused with Sasquatch...
Why do little baby ducks walk softly?
Because they can’t walk hardly.
Why is Pavlov’s hair so soft?
Why was Ivan Pavlov’s hair so soft?
Because he conditioned it.
What goes in hard and pink and comes out soft and wet?
Why was Pavlov’s hair so soft?
Because he conditioned it.
What goes in long and hard, then comes out soft and wet?
Why was Pavlov’s hair so soft?
Why was Pavlov's hair soft?
Because he conditioned it
Why was Pavlov's beard so soft?
Because he conditioned it.
Which US state is famous for its extra small soft drinks?
Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditioned it.
Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?
Why was Pavlov’s hair so soft?
Because he conditioned it.
Why was Pavlov’s hair so soft?
Because he conditioned it.
Why was Pavlov's beard so soft?
Because he conditioned it.
Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?
Why was Pavlov's beard so soft?
Because he conditioned it.
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