Whoever invented the "SHIFT" key, had a capital idea.
My partner was always criticising my sense of direction...
I was pondering some of the practical arts that are dying out like silversmithing and coppersmithing.
One of the most tragic is the art of hand making exit signs which is really on the way out.
What's the difference between Mordor and the Capital?
One does not simply walk into Mordor
The player who scored Ukraine's winning goal against Sweden has dedicated his goal to his girlfriend in the capital city
He's very fond of his chick in Kiev!
When you give your partner their last supper?
Why do tennis players make terrible partners?
Because to them, love means nothing
He told his male partner "We are going to dinner and the concert....OR ELSE!"
Saw this on insta @PunHubOnline
If a bisexual doesn't have a partner
My new password is: MickeyMinnieGoofyDonaldPlutoHueyLouieDeweyDublin.
Because it said my password had to contain 8 characters and at least one capital.
I told my partner that I'm getting her name tattooed onto my body.
"Where exactly?" she asked.
I said, "Probably at the tattoo shop down the road."
Did you know pill bugs have multiple sexual partners?
They’re roly-polyamorous.
Why does the capital of Ireland keep growing?
Because it keeps Dublin and Dublin in size.
What is the fastest growing city in the world?
Capital of Ireland
It's Dublin everyday
Why do clocks from the capital of Italy always make people fall in love?
Because they make romantics.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
Despite being tiny, the Republic of Ireland has the capital city with the highest population growth in the world...
My partner and I watched Interstellar last night. She said the movie was over her head.
I replied, "Of course it's over your head! It's in space!"
I told my partner I think our kid is spoiled.
She said it's not a problem. A lot of kids smell that way.
Moldova named the biggest mall in its capital malldova
What is the only attack a partner would know?
Despite waging war in Afghanistan, most Americans can't name its capital.
Have you heard the joke about the capital building?
I was going to make a joke about capital punishment
But I wasn't sure how to execute it
I broke up with my partner on our front stairs.
It was a stoop end this situation
Does anyone know why you are supposed to capitalize On A Bad Situation?
My friend asked me what the capital of Russia is
I WRITE ALL MY JOKES IN CAPITALS...
THIS ONE WAS WRITTEN IN PARIS.
Why did Karl Marx write in all lowercase letters?
Because he hated capitalism
(On The Spot Joke) My Partner was in bed cracking her back and asked.....
“Hey can you hear my back crack”
I replied “yea can you hear my ass crack” then proceeded with the filthiest fart known to man
Absolute crack up. Hahahahahah even she laughed
My kids came out of school and told my partner they have made cards for her for Mother's Day. I asked for a card, but they said I had to wait until Father's Day. I told my boy I had made a card for him, and he could have it the day after tomorrow,
Moscow is the capital of black holes...
...because everything is Rushin' to them.
I hate working for what I want. Capitalism has ruined everything. Every time I dip my pen in the company ink, nine months later my wife hires a new employee.
I once asked a Frenchman how far it was to the capital city of Malawi.
He replied 'Le long way'.
if you wrote an essay about why capitalism was bad
would you gain or lose marks for not using capital letters...?
"Hey Dad, what's the capital of Australia?"
What is capital city of universe
Why does rockstar, Brian Johnson go to the US capital to cool off?
Because there's an AC in DC.
(Someone improve this joke.)
Why do sea medusas make the worst romantic partners?
'cause they're always jelly!
My partner is telling me that I'm gaining a lot of weight from eating a lot of Indian food
But I think it's a naan issue.
Company password
During a recent password audit by a company, it was found that an employee was using the following password:
"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacremento"
When asked why they had such a long password, the employee rolled their eyes and said "Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital!"
Ireland has the worlds fastest growing capital city...
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