I met a girl on Reddit and it ended in Pokemon puns

A few days ago I met a really cool girl on Reddit and then this happened. I asked and she is ok with me sharing it.

Puns here: https://imgur.com/a/8BOsNgn

Forgive my spelling but it was like 6am

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Patis12
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 26 2020
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A friend from Los Angeles is visiting...

But I really don't want to talk to them. I'm worried I might have SoCal anxiety disorder.

...And admittedly, I was hesitant to share that pun. I'm worried it LAX something important, or that it's just going to get Los in translation.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/JoePeppy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 01 2017
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If you have ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly

Because communication is key

Edit: it's from here, so please give the op credit

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/chizhi1234
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 12 2021
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I apologise if this isn't allowed.

New to this subreddit. I know the point of this thing is to share funny jokes, but since I'm a newbie I hope you'll allow me this one opportunity to make a serious but friendly PSA: If you're lucky enough to have a father, don't take him for granted. Even when they scold or punish you, trust their judgement, it's likely for good reason even if you can't see it at the time. When I was a child I narrowly avoided a horrific accident in which 4 of my friends were electrocuted at a playground we used to play on every day after school. I used to hate my old man for being so strict and disciplining me when all of my friends got to run wild, but if it weren't for him I definitely would have been electrocuted too that day. But I wasn't. I was grounded.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 17k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/NoThruTrucks
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 16 2020
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Which African country is TESLA founder Elon Musk from?

Mad-at-gas-car, obviously.

(It just came to me and I had to share it. I'm so sorry)

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/painfool
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 12 2020
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FIRST DATE: Her dad: "I want her home before midnight."

Me: "But you already own her home."

Dad: -turning to daughter- "If you don't sleep with him, I will."

Credit to u/psybermonkey15

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/jomjimmerjome
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 16 2020
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My girlfriend said if I donโ€™t marry her then sheโ€™ll destroy my hearing

Itโ€™s a wife or deaf situation

Credit for idea: https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/l5550w/my_girlfriend_says_if_we_dont_get_married_soon/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Chillie43
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 26 2021
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Why is Sean Conneryโ€™s family so close-knit?

Because they share a special Bond.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/JiminyKirket
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 12 2021
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My kid is at the point where they want to put bandaids on everything...

I swear this is a true organic dad joke I had tonight. Felt Iโ€™d share it with reddit.

My kid came up to me and says โ€œoh no, look dad, it needs a bandaidโ€ as she gently presents her imaginarily injured bouncy ball.

I looked at my kid and said โ€œI donโ€™t think it needs a bandaid, he looks like heโ€™s going to bounce backโ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ruum-502
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 20 2020
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i have no idea how so many people didnโ€™t make it out the labyrinth
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/invertedparadX
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 11 2021
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Just a quick Thank you!

I've been sharing the Dad Jokes from here that pop up in my suggestion line. My Dad and I work together, so we're both off for the School break. Half the time he rolls his eyes and the other half he chuckles. So, thank you, Dad Jokers, for making my Dad chuckle in whatever this strange year has been!

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Beauknits
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 29 2020
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I met a woman once at a party celebrating my father's 50th birthday.

We got to talking and I found out she worked as a stunt double on some pretty big name movie sets. She looked to be at least 10 years my senior but very fit and attractive and we both seemed to really be hitting it off.

Because all the immediate family in the local area had thrown a smaller, more private celebration for my father a few days prior, I didn't really feel a need to stick around any longer, so I asked the woman if she was interested in sharing some drinks with me at the nearby Hilton where I was staying. She happily accepted.

Suddenly, I turned towards the sound of my father's voice cheerfully calling out the name "Andra" (pronounced ON-druh) and my own as he approached. Andra, the woman I had been speaking with, turned towards him, glanced quickly back at me, then looked back again at my father and with a disconcerted look on her face exclaimed, "Oh brother!"

And that's when I realized the double, Aunt Andra.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/A__Wild__Goose
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 08 2021
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What did one video call tell to another on the beach?

Can you share the screen

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/summingitup
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 02 2020
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I was wondering why my baseball was getting bigger....

But then it hit me!

My little girl shared that with me today๐Ÿ’“

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/mqpickens
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 17 2020
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Sorry this isnโ€™t really a joke but I wanted to say thanks

I just wanted to thank everyone here. My mom has been in the hospital with the virus and being able to send her jokes from here has made her laugh (we both really like puns!) so I just wanted to thank yโ€™all for the fun jokes you post. I know it doesnโ€™t seem like much but it has been very nice to be able to share them with her!

Edit: thank you so much for the awards and well wishes! I 100% did not expect this to blow up like it did and Iโ€™m so glad for yโ€™allโ€™s support!!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 16k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/MellifluousSussura
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 23 2020
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My wife and I just found out she's pregnant with our first child.

To celebrate, we invited all the family and friends we could to my parents' house and then made the big announcement. Everyone was ecstatic and my father in particular was driven to tears. At a certain point during the night he pulled me aside and led me into his study, which I had never really been inside until this point. He opened a safe and produced cigars a bottle of whiskey and a large, beautifully bound book.

"I could never have asked for a better son," my father said, lighting the cigars and pouring the whiskey. "I hope you think I was a good enough father to deserve you."

"Of course, Dad," I said, "You were all I could've asked for and I wish my son admires me even half as much as I admire you."

"Now I've shared with you nearly everything I know," he said, "But not this one thing. This is the Big Book of Dad Jokes. There are many like it but this one is special. My father gave it to me when your mother and I first found out she was pregnant with you, and I studied it and studied it, learning all the dad jokes I could and mastering book's secrets. I hope it serves you as well as it served me in being a father... No... I know it will serve you well. I love you, my son."

"Dad... I don't know what to say... I'm honoured..."

"Hi Honoured, I'm Dad."

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 11k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/m_bowker-brown
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 01 2020
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Which lawn decorations move around from yard to yard?

Gnomads.

(I'm not a dad but I came up with this one last year and have been dying to share it.)

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 1k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/BadLuck627
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 23 2020
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Pun request!

Sorry if this is against the rules (doesn't appear so from what I read), but I'm looking for Gyoza puns. My attempts have been a bit lame so far. Thought I'd try the hive mind here if any takers? If you've goyza any please share!

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/mediashiznaks
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 04 2020
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Iโ€™m currently learning sign language.

I want to tell jokes that people have never heard!

(Sorry if this joke has been done, just heard it for the first time from a coworker and wanted to share.)

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 14
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/DaGoobergoobs
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 25 2020
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The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop and says...

Can you make me one with everything?

https://www.reddit.com/r/WatchPeopleDieInside/comments/kb2m9o/most_successful_joke_ever/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ug61dec
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 11 2020
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Why do riot police arrive early to the protests?

... so they can beat the crowds!

Edit: Wow, this is now my second highest upvoted post ever, and it's not even my own joke! Totally should have credited the video I saw this in: https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/h8btkp/protester_has_a_joke_for_the_police_officers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Thanks for the laughs and great comment threads, Reddit :)

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Row199
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 13 2020
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Iโ€™m at my school talent show and this guy said...

โ€œbefore I start, I would like to check if my mic is working..โ€ โ€œif your name is Michael, please stand upโ€

then a couple of guys stand up and he goes

โ€œthat concludes my mike checkโ€

(I saw this tweet and just had to share it!) Click here for credit

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/3ThatUserNameIsTaken
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 30 2020
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How did the Pokรฉmon trainer get HIV?

Sharing Weedles!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Johnny_Hojoe
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 24 2020
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What kind of rocks are sour?

Limestone! This was made up in the car by my 8 year old son as we were driving home from our Fathers Day outing. Promised I'd share it.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/tnkirk
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 23 2020
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Losing weight is a piece of cake

See, it's a simple process... just don't pick it up!

Happy cake day to anyone who shares the same as mine!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/bugtrial
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 02 2020
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Told my wife to message the lawn person

Because we are taking our fence down.

She came back, stopped me, just to ask "Is there a mower emoji?

I said: is that really an emojency?

38, first original joke from an unoriginal dad. Had to share.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 96
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Shor7Fuz3
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 09 2020
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When you buy a bigger bed, you have more bed room but less bedroom

That's a very important fact I just read and wanted to share with you guys. Buying beds is a serious topic.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 81
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/FattySuperCute
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 14 2020
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Happy Fatherโ€™s Day

As a child I donโ€™t think fathers realize how much we love and appreciate them and wanted to share it, even though this isnโ€™t a joke.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 183
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/myname69420
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 21 2020
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How do you think the unthinkable?

With an itheberg! :)

(Sorry if this isn't as funny as the other jokes here! I just can't help but crack a smile when I hear this one. It's so cheesey and adorable to me! So I figured I'd try and share it with you all! Have a nice day!)

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 127
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/FreshPancakesBacon
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 24 2020
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I'm raising money for a new row of shrubs by selling stock...

Would you like a few shares of my hedge fund?

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 171
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 15 2020
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Personal Update...

Can't share on a Public Platform.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/babar_s
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 10 2020
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Wedding Jokes Needed

Iโ€™m officiating a wedding Saturday and want to weave in some of your finest. Please share some of your best to help me deliver some laughs!

Edit: ... help me deliver some eye rolls and long nasal exhalations.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/engi-nerd_5085
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 27 2020
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/r/BlackFathers will now be a positive and supportive community for Black and POC fathers

https://i.imgur.com/GlXV2kE.gifv

Reddit admins have recently granted ownership of /r/BlackFathers to myself and a group of other Black/POC mods, and it is our intention to make this a positive and supportive community. This is a place where Black/POC fathers and their family, friends, and colleagues can find helpful resources, welcoming content, and a safe space to learn from each other and share our experience.

Content of all types are welcome so long as the subject/focus of the content is supportive of Black/POC fathers. We look forward to seeing you there.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/BigJ76
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 18 2020
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Why do the Hong Kong police wake up early?

To beat the crowd.

Edit: All credit goes to u/AleoMoorea, who posted it here.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 13k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/TheMasonX
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 23 2019
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(Credit to u/Anon8627) My mum said I'm terrible with directions
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Python119
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 14 2020
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Where does okra come from?

Okrahoma. Iโ€™m sure this is old but I heard it yesterday and had to share.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/blochow2001
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 20 2020
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Itโ€™s my right to cheese

Don't be blue, this will be over soon. I don't typically share my political views online, but I am very PROvolone. I think every manchego has a right to choose. Some people may think I am a muenster for this. I am not just some liberal Monterey Jack. If you Havarti another point of view, it's a gouda idea to share it too.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/LunOverdose
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 21 2020
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Wyoming?

Why Not Oming!?

Note: just saw a friend on Facebook say this to their kid. Sorry if it's been shared before.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/El_Pollo_Diablo77
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 10 2020
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I have lots of jokes about communism

But unfortunately I have to share them all with you.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 21
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Funny_Name9
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 28 2020
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My proudest dad joke

This actually happened a couple years ago, but I've decided to finally come out if lurking to share it here.

I was on a trip with some friends and we had stopped for lunch. We weren't very busy so my buddy and I shared a plate of wings and a couple pitchers of beer. When it came to pay, the bill was $20.01 (I don't remember how much it actually was, but it was an odd number) and we just split the bill down the middle. When we got our checks, his had the extra penny. We joked about him paying so much more, and so I said I would add an extra penny to my tip, plus one more penny to one up him.

Afterwards when we were walking out my buddy turned to me and said "do you think she'll she even notice?" I said "I like to think that she will notice and maybe chuckle at it. Besides pennies can add up and make a difference, but that's just my 2 cents"

I am not a dad yet. But I definitely feel the fatherly humor running through my veins.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 23
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Kjc2022
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 13 2020
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A construction worker goes to a fancy restaurant and his a dress code problem.

The man goes into the fancy restaurant and have a discussion with the host:

Host Sir, you cannot come in here with out a belt. We have standards.

The man goes out to his car and puts on a belt fashioned out of some rope. He goes back in.

Host Alright.... I guess you have a belt....You still need a jacket.

The man goes back out to his car and fishes out a jacket his wore to a wedding a year ago. He shares it off, brushes it with his hand, and puts it on.

Host Ok. You still need a tie. It is required.

The man goes out to his car. He doesn't have a tie. He puts on jumper cables and makes a perfect Windsor knot.

Host You have a belt and a jacket. I guess you have a tie.

Just don't try to start something....

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/WinnieTheEeyore
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 16 2020
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Found this post and I just can't stop laughing (LINK BELOW)
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/HydropowerEnergy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 10 2020
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Food contamination warning!

Hope this is the right sub but this is something I need to share. Do not eat peanuts right now, if you do examine them carefully. There has been a fungus that has infected most of the peanut crops in north America. From the outside they look fine but if you bite into the nut you may notice a small black center. By then it's too late. The black center at early stages can cause digestive issues but if the entire nut is black it can cause failure of the nervous system and respiratory complications. There are pests that have laid their eggs in these plants and tiny microorganisms have developed in these plants. They leech into the fruit causing the black color. Ingestion can cause all sorts of troubles from diarrhea to death. These creatures are fatal. That's why you should always watch out for the creature from the black legume.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 31
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/prawncracker92
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 11 2020
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I move America last month and I'm still try to learning English

Teacher : Juan, create a sentence using the word "harmony"

Me: i tell my girlfriend that my money is harmony. We share everything together.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Slymood
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 27 2020
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This guy in r/aww is one of us.

https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/j5h6z7/who_says_you_need_10_fingers_to_be_perfect_we/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ahaggardcaptain
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 05 2020
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Because I am not allowed to post media

https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/ii7t65/his_jokes_arent_always_bad/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Dark_boy_vasu
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 28 2020
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