Why do people wear shamrocks on St Patrick’s day?

Regular rocks are too heavy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fredwardofox
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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Shamrock
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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuincyDental
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2017
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Why should you never iron a shamrock?

Because you shouldnt press your luck!

Thanks to grandpa for this one. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/apnea_addict
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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A man was walking along a stream..

... when he noticed that every shoot growing put of the ground was a four leaf shamrock. There were millions of them, spread out along both banks.

Being superstitious, the man assumed the place must be somehow imbued with an extraordinary amount of luck.

He sought out the owner of the land, and promptly bought it, spending everything he had to do so.

His plan was to build a small house at the site and thereby ensure he would be surrounded by good fortune for the rest of his life.

Sadly, while lifting smooth river stones to create the foundation of his dream home, he slipped on some mud, hit his head on a stone, was knocked unconscious, tumbled into the water, and drowned.

This conclusively proved to the townsfolk, that the location was not lucky at all.

The moral of this story?

Don't judge a brook by it's clover.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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What kind of music do clovers like?

Shamrock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ERINEM_Official
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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Did you hear about the plant that looked like a stone?

It was a shamrock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yorkshirenation
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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I thought I saw Dwayne Johnson.

But it turns out it was a Shamrock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRockingDead
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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This guy found a Leprechaun

This guy found a Leprechaun tossing a pebble back and forth. The guy said, "Hey, what are you doing with that pebble?" The Leprechaun replied, "Oh, 'tis not a real pebble, it be plastic" "Well..." the guy replied "...Then why do you have a plastic pebble?" The Leprechaun responded, "It's me shamrock"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToxianLeader
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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Pearl Harbor of puns

If your onion sang hip-hop, would that be a rapscallion?

I used to be an astronaut, but I got tired of eating out of satellite dishes. I wasn't allowed to eat the Milky Way, even though I had to look at it every day. The worst thing was, I never got to visit The Space Bar. Then, when I was visiting the dark side of the moon, I was bitten by a parasite. Now, you might think it's crazy, but the doctor who removed it called it a lunar-tick.

If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?

China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you.

I recently was going to join the railroad union. I decided against it because it's complicated. If I received instruction on driving the locomotive, would they call it engineering, or training?

I got a sad story about a flower. I don't know who the heck she pissed off, but damn, now she's a Black-Eyed Susan.

I finally figured out what makes leaves angry. Fall. They get so mad they change color. Some are yellow. They're just afraid and run from their problems. The other ones usually just leave.

I went parachuting with my military buddies once. We landed on a department store. I told him I think we're at the wrong coordinates. He said: "Nope. We're right on Target"

I asked a psychologist if Native Americans have strong emotions. He said "Oh yeah, they're intense".

If a psychotic person thought something made sense, would that thought be psychological?

If Matt Damon were searching for a secondhand store, would he be Goodwill Hunting?

My friend is a Marksman for the military. One day, he went to the armory and asked for 3 snipers. They gave him a candy bar. It was a 3 Musketeers.

I want to be there if Dwayne Johnson ever uses a pizza stone. That way I can smell what "The Rock" is cookin'.

Christopher bought a lemon, and the car broke down. Now Christopher Walken.

Have you heard about the latest bank battle on Wall Street? Capital One and Chase got in a fight and Capital One.

You know what a pirate says to his wenches when he sees the shoreline? "LAND HO!"

A man finds a lamp in the desert and dusts it off. Poof! A genie p

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PraetorSolaris
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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What's a fake rock from Ireland?

A shamrock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeterGilbz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2017
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I want to get my daughters cubic zirconia rings for St. Patrick's Day.

That way, they'll have shamrocks.

If I pull this off, it will be quite the lepre-chaun.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sauntering
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2018
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What do you call an Irishman who can't play guitar?

Shamrock!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jagger67
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2017
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Happy St. Patrick's Day! Why should you never iron a shirt with shamrocks on it?

You don't want to press your luck.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrayingMantis
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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What kind of music do Irishmen like?

Shamrock

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xReaper3698x
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2016
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