What do you call an army of young cows on horseback?

The Calfalry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sjmaeff
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2021
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How do you call an army unit of babies?

INFANTry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/salttrooper222
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
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How do you defend yourself against an army of attacking cattle?

With a cowitzer.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jester57
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?

The centaur of attention..... ill see myself out

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gambitK9
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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What do you call an army of 1 year olds?

An infant-ry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WinGs5000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
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What’s and Army general’s favorite day of the year?

MARCH FOURTH!

Happy March 4th everyone.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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I’ve decided to make an elite army of babies

I’ll call them The Infantry

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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Ozymandias, king of kings, had a very capable army of snakes.

He is best known for the quote:
β€œLook on my worms, ye Mighty, and despair!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinBender
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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What did the Commanding General of the United States Army say after having his budget approved?

Tanks for that.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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The U.S. Army is full of crybabies

That’s why we also call them the Infantry.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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I’m so proud of my baby, she just joined the army!

She’s going to the infantry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/assafstone
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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There are historical accounts of Attila and his army seeing strange otherworldly ships hovering over the battlefields.

These were Hun Identified Flying Objects.

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πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
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My grandfather, who was in the army, once told me, β€œ1940, I met my first love. 1946, my second. 1950, I met the woman of my dreams.”

β€œIt was quite a hectic evening.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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I've heard the german army only liked one type of pastry.

The luft-waffle

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YKantSpiel66
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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Sometimes my CCNA gives me golden opportunities for puns. Question to know the answer if by end of section: β€œwhat does a successful ping verify?”

Why, the defeat of the hun army and the safety of China of course!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arakashi_moku
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2021
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TIL about a sneak attack in WWII, in which Norway’s Skiing Soldiers deprived the German army of the atomic bomb.

They did Nazi it coming.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackabe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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Locked out

This woman is driving to the shops, She stops, gets out of her car, and goes to buy a newspaper.

When she gets back to her car, she realises that she has locked herself out of the car, and the keys are still inside !

She was just starting to panic, when an army truck pulls up, and asks her is she has a problem. She explains that she's locked her keys inside, and can't get in to continue her journey.

One of the squaddies then jumps down from the truck, and start rubbing his leg against the side of the car, and after a few seconds - ping - the door is open !!

She is amazed at this, and asks the squaddie how he did it.

He said,

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

"It's because I'm wearing my khaki trousers"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orcamarine
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2021
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the fox, bear and rabbit

a fox, a rabbit and a bear need to serve their fatherland, but they dont want to, so they make a plan. The fox thinks, wat if we cut of my tail, they think its a good idea, they cut of his tail, he goes on inspection, comes cheerfully back with the news that he didnt need to go in the army, then the rabbit thinks, wat if we cut my ears of, because i dont have a long tail. They think its a good idea, they cut hiw ears of, the rabbit goes on inspection, and also comes cheerfully out with the news that he doesn't need to go in the army. then they think for the bear, his tail is too short, and his ears are to short. The fox thinks, wat if we smash out his teeth. The bear thinks about it, abrees, they smash out his teeth, and the bear goes on inspectoin. he too comes cheerfully out, woohoow, i font neef to fo, i fas to fat!!!

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2021
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While I joined the Army and started a family, my brother Samuel became a doctor. After one of his patients died, my kids asked him what happened.

He told them, "Sorry, Uncle Sam's health care isn't the best."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/problematikUAV
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
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Old Macdonald’s son decided to join the army instead of farming.

He is now E.I. G.I.Joe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
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I had the pleasure of serving under one of the calmest commanders in the US Army

General Anesthesia always helped put internal disputes to bed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrDewinYourMom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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Who will lead the army of drawing utensils?

The ruler.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?

A kernel.

Sorry guys, a bit corny that one.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Queef_Snortah
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Jay-Z is DMing a D&D campaign for his son.

Jay-Z's son is playing a fighter and is engaged in a grueling fight with a troll. The troll is clearly too high a difficulty for the fighter.

"Dad," Jay-Z's son exclaims in frustration. "The troll is destroying me!" Just at that moment, from behind a nearby hill appears an army of goblins led by what appears to be an intoxicated lich.

Jay-Z looks at his son and replies with a smirk, "If you're having troll problems, I feel bad for you, son. I've got 99 goblins and a lich on rum."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JinTaisa
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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(Heard this joke from somewhere) What do you call an army of babies?

The infantry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dunoooooo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
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How did Fa Mulan convince the soldiers of the Chinese army that she's a man?

She pretended to be Fa Ping.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RainMorga
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
🚨︎ report
What do You call an army of child soldiers?

Infant-ry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnEdgyPie
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Last night I watched a performance of the accapella group from the nearby army base.

It has Major problems.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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The perfect social media platform for a so called "army of one"

I imagine he/she'd like to hang out in r/me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Warp_Scrambler_II
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
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They are making a Game of Thrones movie about the Army of the Dead members who become astronauts.

It's called The Wight Stuff

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/markydsade
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine was kicked out of the army because his wound leaked onto the sergeants uniform.

It was a dishonourable discharge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/procrastiprov
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
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If I can't find a day care to take of my baby I'll send him to the army.

He can be apart of the infantry.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/huffe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
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What do you call an army of trees?

Infantree

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRtHonLaqueesha
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2017
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I'm going to have an army of angry people after me due to my bad jokes one day...

But it's okay, I'll take my pun-ishment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeweljessec
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
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I'm 5'11Β½, but tell everyone I'm 6'0"

On my first day of being an army recruit, we were all lined up and the instructor commanded that those 6 feet and over step forward. Even though I was shy of Β½inch, I stepped forward, along with 15 others.

. After I looked around me, I realized I was noticeably the tallest.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dwele_music
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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What do you call an army of magnets?

A repellion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Poopasite1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2015
🚨︎ report
A sergeant of the Australian army yells at a private....

"PRIVATE, DID YOU COME HERE TO DIE?" The private responds: "NO SIR! I came here yesterday!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/question87
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2014
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As an American army private during WWII, how did my great-uncle fight in the Battle of the Bulge...

Ardently

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
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There was an army of screwdrivers once.

They weren't good at fighting, but nobody could beat them at drill.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/James123182
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2014
🚨︎ report
What do you call an army of babies?

INFANTry

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Waitingforlunch
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call an army of children?

The infantry

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LucklessLegend
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
🚨︎ report

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