26 Hilarious Run to You Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Me to cop: "You cant arrest me.I have a marathon to run."

Cop: "Stop playing the race card."

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👤︎ u/VERBERD

📅︎ Feb 27 2021

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You know sometimes I get the sudden urge to run around naked.

But then I just drink some Windex. It keeps me from streaking.

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👤︎ u/BlueGI55

📅︎ Mar 04 2021

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Did you know that ancient Greeks would shave their heads before the Olympics to run faster?

Modern historians call it balderdash.

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👤︎ u/dothemagic

📅︎ Jan 31 2021

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If I happened to run into you, and fall on you perpendicularly,

Would you be cross with me?

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👤︎ u/Dzintato

📅︎ Dec 23 2020

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Got anxiety and you've run out of things to Fu Man-chew?

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👤︎ u/DadPunsAreBadPuns

📅︎ Nov 06 2020

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Did you hear about the Tesla on auto-pilot that tried to run over a cop?

It was charged with battery

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👤︎ u/pikindaguy

📅︎ Nov 17 2020

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I went camping and a grizzly approached me. I was terrified. I was about to run, but the grizzly stopped and said, “you will die in 10 days.” I replied, “who are you??”

He said, “I hate to be the bear of bad news.”

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👤︎ u/zedhead0628

📅︎ Jun 23 2020

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Edgar Allan Poe is about to run into a tree. What do you yell at him?

POETRY!

👍︎ 10k

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👤︎ u/1TallTXn

📅︎ Jun 22 2018

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Did you guys hear about the investment broker that retired to run a celery farm?

It seems he made a killing on the stalk market.

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👤︎ u/OmegaLiquidX

📅︎ Apr 10 2020

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If you want to set up a company and run it then

that's your business.

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👤︎ u/DadJoker1988

📅︎ Nov 25 2019

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Me: Sir, you can’t give me a ticket for speeding. I am planning to run a Marathon today.

Cop: Stop playing the race card.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Dec 05 2018

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Why do ducks in a lake always fly away when you run up to them?

They have cold feet

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👤︎ u/chevrite

📅︎ Oct 27 2019

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Witnessed in the wild, old dude talking to a sick little kid: Did you know that if your nose runs and your feet smell you're built upside down?

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👤︎ u/YourMom102938

📅︎ Jul 14 2019

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My dad, to me: "If you ever decide to run around naked on a drunken night, always bring Windex with you."

I asked him what he meant by that.

He said "It prevents you from streaking."

I have to admit I actually genuinely laughed at that one.

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👤︎ u/irbinator

📅︎ Oct 08 2017

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What do you call a cantaloupe that runs off to get married?

A can-elope!

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👤︎ u/badboy236

📅︎ Sep 24 2018

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I like to claim that the Greek Orthodox secretly run the world through its financial networks…For some reason people are ok with that, try putting a different religion in there and suddenly you’re a conspiracy theorist and hate criminal

Those Catholics are real sensitive sometimes

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👤︎ u/Irv-Elephant

📅︎ May 22 2019

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What do you call it when someone of South East Asian heritage needs to run for the bus?

A bangladash

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👤︎ u/treefellow64

📅︎ Jun 11 2019

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Cricket players involved in match fixing are sure to give you a run for your money.

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👤︎ u/that_introverted_guy

📅︎ Jun 05 2016

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My dad's amazing driving advice to my sister: "I can replace any mailbox you hit. If you collide with a cop car, I've got a good attorney. If you run over a nun, God will forgive you. But if you hit my truck, you better leave the f***ing country."

👍︎ 30

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👤︎ u/iwillhavethat

📅︎ Mar 04 2018

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My wife said, "If one day you want to run away, just let me know."

Turns out she meant together.

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi

📅︎ Oct 30 2018

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What do you call a melon that is unable to run off and get married?

A cantaloupe.

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👤︎ u/jt_griggs

📅︎ Mar 11 2018

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Studies show you can run 32% farther if you apply a bit of glue to your feet before you run.

It's all about pasting yourself.

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👤︎ u/LYKAF0XX

📅︎ Jul 10 2013

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Did you hear Kool-Aid Man is going to run for president?

MAKE AMERICA GRAPE AGAIN

Oh yeah

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👤︎ u/Torley_

📅︎ Jul 30 2018

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You know how when you put your ear on a hard surface, everything is super loud? Whenever I do it, i immediately need to run to the toilet.

Seems like i have a really bad case of earontable bowel syndrome

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👤︎ u/Ganders81

📅︎ Jul 21 2017

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You know what they say about the melons that aren't able to run off and get married?

They cantaloupe.

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👤︎ u/hellslave

📅︎ Mar 31 2016

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"I'm gonna run to the store, you want anything?" -Me

Dad: Y'know, it'd be quicker if you drove, hur hur!

Or sometimes, Dad: I was gonna ask for ice cream, but if you're not driving, it'll be melted before you get back, hur hur!

Sadly, I've now started saying the first one. <crying>

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👤︎ u/naery

📅︎ Aug 09 2013

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