Got anxiety and you've run out of things to Fu Man-chew?
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DadPunsAreBadPuns
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A heavily armed man runs into an estate agent....Screaming....

Nobody move.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A bloke runs in to a bar and says. Quick how tall are penguins? The barman says about three feet. The man groans and says :--

I have just run over a NUN

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
A man who runs in front of a car gets tired,

a man who runs behind a car gets exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Laroel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
If you see a man-eating cucumber, run away!

If you stick around, you could end up in a pickle.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hellige88
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Two elderly women were sitting on a park bench when a man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. One woman has a stroke.

The other couldn’t reach.

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the man run around his bed?

Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend used to take care of the lawn on a rich man's estate but now runs a coffee wholesale store...

He calls it The Groundskeeper.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus?

Ones a crustaecian and the other is a crushed Asian.

πŸ‘︎ 95
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AmarSB2001
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2018
🚨︎ report
A man runs into a hospital in a frenzy yelling "I'm shrinking! I'm shrinking!"

A nurse approaches him and says "Sir, you're just going to have to be a little patient."

πŸ‘︎ 95
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ickyfeet
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the man run into the fresh fish market?

Just for the halibut.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HoganB_Gogan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the man say after getting his foot run over by a truck full of shampoo products?

"L'OrΓ©al!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear Kool-Aid Man is going to run for president?

MAKE AMERICA GRAPE AGAIN

Oh yeah

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Torley_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2018
🚨︎ report
A man sees a celebrity he admires on the street and runs over to him...

A man sees a celebrity he admires on the street and runs over to him but doesn’t take the hint that the celebrity wants to be alone and is irritable. After about 10 minutes of following him and shouting at him the man yells, β€œI love this guy, he’s the shit!” The celebrity finally has enough and punches the man in the face... And that’s when the shit hit the fan

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Delsincameback
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2018
🚨︎ report
A man runs somebody over while driving...

...and gets out of the car immediately to see if the pedestrian is alright.

Driver: "I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" Pedestrian: "I'm fine, I just feel a little tired now"

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ACnut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2016
🚨︎ report
What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?

β€œCurses! Foil again!”

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/winnieismydog
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the man who was run over by a car?

I hear he was a little tired.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WolfFarwalker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2015
🚨︎ report
Confucious say a man who runs in front of bus gets tired.

A man who runs behind gets exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 87
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Scathyr
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the man run around his bed?

Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the man run around his bed?

To catch up on his sleep.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tashiikat0724
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the man run around his bed?

Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the man run around his bed?

Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a similarity between a man who runs in front of a car and a man who runs behind a car?

They both need sleep...the man in front of the car gets tired and the man behind the car gets exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EFSE_Escargo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.