What do you say to someone that a Mallard is trying to land on?
What's the best way to greet a mallard?
I fell into the river in Paris.
People said I must be in Seine.
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
A bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a rum..............and coke."
"Why the big pause?" asks the bartender. The bear shrugged, "I'm not sure, I was born with them"
A river is just a cloud based streaming service...
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese
My first reddit for-rum sub mission
What did the river-tourist call his mom to say while he was in Africa?
"mom, I can't believe it; I'm in de-nile!"
What do you call a pervy mallard?
I was walking past the river today and this guy asked me if his rod looked good. Then, he asked if I liked his net. When he continued on and asked if I was impressed by the amount of fish he had caught, I finally lost it and shouted...
"Hey buddy, quit fishing for compliments!"
I get hazard pay for working in a liquor shop
After all, it’s whiskey business
My son and I were hunting when we scared up a flock of mallards and geese. They farted as they flew away...
"That was fowl," I told my son.
Hard to keep Track of stuff
My friend said he saw a nocturnal mammal defecate in a French River
I told him thats bat shit in Seine
What do beavers like to put on their salads?
I once dreamt of crossing a wide river…
But it ended up being just a ferry tale.
what do you call the smaller rivers that run into the nile?
I can't remember the name of this African river in front of me.
I must be going see Nile.
How much rum does it take to make a pirate drunk?
Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?
If it was a guy it would be the misterssippi River.
How does a duck find a wife?
Mallarder bride...
Love and New Balance shoes,
Dad
What did the river sue for?
Why is it pronounced Bri ish?
Because they drank the t.
Why is it easier to take an F-150 across a river than a Silverado?
Bc no one ever Chevy’d a river
Rivers are so lazy...
They never get out of their beds.
When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn't get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.
Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.
Did you hear about the mummy that just woke up and is still convinced he’s ruler of Egypt? When told ‘that’s impossible’ he flew into a rage, ran away, and jumped in a river.
People say he’s in da Nile
My friend said that its impossible for a river to move through the desert.
I told him he was in deNile.
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
Rivers are...
the original streaming service.
Whats the fastest thing on the river bed?
A motor-pike and side-carp.
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized...
Sometimes I think about becoming a mallard to do all the evil crazy stuff I can think of.
But that's no way to conduck myself
Little story I remembered of my dad getting me good
I was about 9, local indoor water park had just opened and it had a wave machine! I was in the lazy river with my dad when the sirens came on to let people.know the wave machine is starting, I asked my dad what it was, he told me it means you have to wave and to make sure I was waving when we exited the river, I still look back on it now and think, "you dickhead"
A man jumped into the freezing river in Paris...
Eyewitness say, the man was in-Seine.
What do you call a urinating mallard?
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
