Round 2 Puns

If they launched a lot of cattle into orbit.

It would be the herd shot ’round the world.

For example I have a 9 inch penis and she doesn't know which way round to hold a ruler.

I mean, the arguments for it aren’t even well rounded.

It will be the herd shot 'round the world.

πr^2, but cake are round.

Waited about 4 months to post this.

Then I came round.

What does it mean when you find horseshoes? It means a horse is walking round in its socks!

I am so proud of her! Edit: wording.

His friends described him as a round and pulpy man who loved his wife and penguins. He will be deeply pooped.

Sheepdog: Yeah I know, but I rounded them up!

Round... possibly pear... I haven’t decided yet.

So we’ve got this FisherPrice Projector Mobile thing that projects a rotating imaging onto the ceiling. (Very nice little thing, highly suggest for babies)

Anyways... We’ve got it set up in the living room and Wife, Son, and I are laying on the ground in the dark watching it go round and round. It’s Jungle Themed, so a lion, elephant giraffe, tiger, a few monkeys, and so on...

We’re pointing out the different animals to Son and he’s repeating a few words here and there... When he starts waving and saying “Hi” as a new animal rotates in.

So Wife goes, “Here comes the Lion. Can you say Hi to the Lion?”

And Son waves and says “Hi!” and giggles.

Wife: “And there’s an Elephant! Can you Hi to the Elephant?”

Son: “Hi... toots”

Wife: “Yes! Toots! And here’s the next animal. Can you wave to the tiger?”

Son: “Hi!”

Wife: “That’s the ‘Hi of the Tiger’”

Me: “... 💀 💀 💀”

Wife: “You love me... Look Son! A Zebra!”

and he counted 396 of them.

But once he rounded them all up, he had 400.

"What? We should only have 37!" I replied.

"I know" he said, "I rounded them up".

A: Whenever you try and order a round he says, “You only get one shot.”

He asks the barman about it and the barman explains, “If you can jump up and hit one, you’ll get a free drink, but if you miss, you have to buy everyone a round!”

The guy looks up and ponders for a minute then replies, “Nah, the steaks are too high.”

She replied “the ball is round daddy” (with a straight face) So I tell her “no, what I mean is, get mad! I want you to hit the ball really hard like if you were mad at it!”

She grabs the ball, stares right at it and says “I’M REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, BALL!” Then throws it right back at me.

Proud dad moment.

And orders everybody a round

She has a round figure.

One says to the other "Your round"

• Like all cherished things in this covid-crazy world, the O.Henry Museum’s famous free, family friendly celebration of the wit-in-word will take place virtually in cyberspace this year. With an awesome live cast of lively wits and tortured tongues, the online audience will be treated to all the linguistic twists, dramatic turns, and surprise endings they’ve groan to love. Expect to witness wacky word butchers and voracious verbivores from around the globe, all worming their way into your ears. Tongues of tradition, tension and camaraderie make this the premier event for the world's competitive wordplay community
• Brought to you this year by the City of Austin, Brush Square Museums Foundation, and co- sponsored by Austin's very own Fantastic Magic Camp, as well as the internationally renowned podcast, Pun Intensive, The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition will commence Saturday, November 21, 2020
• Preliminary live rounds begin Saturday, November 21, 2020, at 11:00am CST, lasting about 2 hours. Later that evening, live competition resumes at 7:00pm CST with head-to-head prime time heats. - See Pun-Off.com for schedule details, links, and more.

[Austin, TX, November 1, 2020] - Although traditionally held outdoors on a single day in the spring, the first portion 2020 the O. Henry Museum Pun-Off competition known as Punniest of Show was conducted via video in October. Now on Saturday, November 21, 2020, PARD will bring you their most popular second segment, O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition

This free, fun, and family friendly event will take place online this year, but with special twists, turns, and surprise modifications to make it the perfect 2020 event for the world's competitive wordplay community.

The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships have been an Austin institution for 43 years. As usual, the contest will feature a cavalcade of word-class wordsmiths from across the globe, all worming their way into your art. Join and enjoy us as they compete to spontaneously spit out the most absurd words you’ve ever heard.

The event will be live streamed at PunIntensive.com.

The dog says, “but I rounded them up.”

It’s so big and round

It made my head go round and round.

As my coworkers gathered round, she sobbed loudly, "Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said that you worked with?!"

Despite the bulging eyes, horrible nose, weird ears and all round ugliness, the dog seems to like her.

Farmer: wait, we should only have 46!

Dog: yeah, I rounded em up

“No Son, it will be round.”

Sorry, we don’t do that round hair.

The dog comes back with 50 sheep. The farmers says, "we only have 48 sheep." The dog replies, "Yea, I told you I was going to round them up."

They’ve been ‘round a long time.

No, cornbread are squared. Pie is round!

"How do you make the merry-go-round?" I asked him.

He said, "Feed drunk people pizza."

A woman comes home from the hypnotist and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."

"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"

His wife replies, "Dawn referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache.' It worked... The headaches are all gone."

The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."

His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?" The husband agrees to try it.

Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."

He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before. His wife says, "That was wonderful..."

The husband says, "Don't move... I will be right back." He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.

The wife sits up and her head is spinning. Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." With that, he goes back in the bathroom.

This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying, "She's not my wife. She's not

Mary go round.

πr2, cake are round

π r², cakes are round

He orders everyone a round.

and orders everyone a round.

"What? We should only have 37!" I replied.

"I know" he said, "I rounded them up".

He orders everyone a round.