Rotating unbalance Puns

I’ve just started learning about the rotating unbalances, and their causes and how they can affect the rotating machinery.. but do they have any uses.. or any mechanical applications?

This is a follow up from The Red Queen. The Red Queen was the number 2 of the office and could be described as an insecure, incompetent micromanager who got to her position by backstabbing, intrigue and politics. She staged several coups to rise in the ranks to get where she was.

In our office we all had to rotate in spending a day answering the complaint call line. For whatever reason a vast number of mentally and emotionally unbalance people would call or visit. Some complaints would be things like all of the individual's organs were harvested, including the heart and brain and we needed to do something. Or, the individual's landlord/mother/girlfriend/boyfriend/etc had replaced their family/friends/significant other with clones/robots/aliens/etc and we needed to do something.

Many of these individuals would demand a name so they could follow up. We had a policy to not give a name, but only a time and date so the person could refer to the contact because, if you gave your name, you would be bombarded by calls and visits from that individual from then on.

Well, the Red Queen heard about this and, in spite of it being contrary to policy, demanded that we give any complainant a name.

So, we gave out hers.

She then got dozens of complaint calls a day for about a week before she figured it out. The tirade was epic.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

I am a master that repairs electric motors and often see electricians fail to do these things...

A) Check the voltage before connecting the motor.

B) Check the voltage when the equipment is running. This is very important because a lot of guys do not understand that a digital voltmeter is practically "an open". Digital meters typically have over 2 MILLION+ ohms of internal resistance. That means you can typically measure full voltage through a hair off of a 304 but it will drop to nothing with even a small load applied. A Fluke 117 has a LoZ setting that makes the meter emulate an old style needle meter that takes a bit of current to work. That will catch a lot of bad supply connections before you try running the motor.

B^2) Watch the starting voltage too see if it goes too low. That can indicate the wire size is too small for the run and can cause the motor to fail to come up to speed. Or cause it to take too long to start.

C) Check the amperage on the running equipment when it is up to FULL LOAD. Also note that many amprobes are very capable of seeing the noise from ballasts and other electronic equipment that will lead you to think a motor is overloaded. I had a customer telling me that my new motor an electrician hooked up was too high over the nameplate amps. I went out there with my proper amprobe meter and it was fine. The electrician argued his meter was correct but I told him to place his hand on the motor to see if it was hot. It was not. It was actually very cool and below F.L. amps. Read your meters instructions for motor loads.

D) Check the motor rotation. Centrifugal pumps, for example, will still work running backwards. They just wont pump very well.

E) Check that the motor is not over the Service Factor amperage at a running FULL load. This is very important with many compressors that are typically designed to use the service factor amps. If you replace a bad motor with one that has no SF you will cut the life of the motor insulation drastically. So the motor could burn up before the end of the warranty.

F) Capacitors fail down in mfd's. They rarely fail up. A quality run capacitor will always read the exact rating or slightly higher. If it is half a farad low it is junk. That +-5% variance on run caps IS A LIE when going lower. Even a .5% low (-) on a run cap means it is bad. (Results may vary on cheap Chinese capacitors.)

G) Three phase motor pro tip: Check the amperage on each leg and rotate the phases to get the lowest amper

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

At work, I have a workstation.

edit: cheers u/cheer_up_richard

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!