Rollovers as business start ups Puns

Prophets are going through the roof.

They're Naan-Fudge-Kibble Tokens.

Roll on Monday!

You can come work for me if you want to make a quick buck.

Sails went through the roof

Just need help getting it off the ground.

But only proof of steak.

My friend says it's because he is now trans-parent

"...40 second birthday". I was so proud.

It just gets shit done.

...sails are going through the roof.

Then it dawned on me

The lumberjack said, "a talking a tree? Huh. I guess you'll die a log."

He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."

"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."

So they did.

Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.

And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.

..so I've just handed in my too weak notice.

It’s called “Curry On My Wayward Spud”. And yes.. There’ll be peas when you are done.

They named it the Alcorythm

It was a huge invest-mint!

Mrs Doubt-Pfizer

Good Tie-dings to all men!

My daughter will be 4 in December and I've been teaching her jokes involving animals and the sounds they make. I had taught her;

What do ducks eat? Quackers

What's a cows favourite place to go? To the mooovies.

She thought they were hilarious and for the next few days I would ask her to tell me a joke and she would repeat one of these jokes and we would laugh together. I asked her this morning to tell me a joke expecting one of these same jokes that she knows, then she took me by surprise by asking;

Why was the sheep on the naughty step?

I was taken aback and wondered where it was going, so I replied;

I don't know. Why was the sheep on the naughty step?

Coz he was a baaaad boy.

Few moments of stunned silence then me and the wife looked at eachother, then burst into fits of laughter while my daughter beamed with pride. Her twin brother is often on the naughty step for being a 'bad boy' and I'm thinking that she has put 2 and 2 together and came up with infant/toddler comedy gold. Very clever, and very proud dad.

But I heard the ice cream market is a rocky road

That way I can set my own hours.

Because they taste like sheet.

Worse than the costume idea was the frequent wardrobe malfunctions that came about throughout the evening. Luckily for everyone the couple would manage to get a hold of the situation before things slipped down too far. Though unluckily for everyone, the guy would always end this awkward real-life recurring slapstick segment with the even more awkward dad joke: "what a releaf".

It's a rock inn around the Christmas tree

(Have a happy Holiday!)

I’m on season eight. Still not sure what this has to do with security.

Waitress: You know, I can tell a lot about a person by each of the coins that are left. Man: Okay, what do these pennies tell you about me?

Waitress: This first one tells me that you are very thrifty. Man: Hmm. Yes, that's true. Go on.

Waitress: This second one tells me that you are not married. Man: Yes, that's true too.

Waitress: And this last one tells me that your mother wasn't married either.

but I can’t get it off the ground.

I don’t know what I expected though, having never taught Sheikh’s peer before.

Looks like I’ll be driving Holmes for Christmas

But I hear it's a whiskey business.

As my co-workers gather round, she sobbed loudly "Daddy where are all the clowns you said you worked with?!"

Sails should go through the roof

It has deep sedimental value to me.

People will be lined up for blocks.

“Have you tried with your hands?” I asked. “They really aren’t that heavy.”

Any ideas?

it went bust

But I lac-tose funds.

The prophets are going through the roof.

I guess it was habit forming

I guess you can say I butchered my grades.

He said, “Yeah, brochure!”

Unfortunately I can't stop yarning and before I fall asleep I get pins and needles everywhere.