This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 63%. (I'm a bot)
> Editor's note In the wake of President Donald Trump's recent summit with Russian President Vladimir Putin, Salt Lake Tribune columnist Robert Gehrke wrote a column arguing why U.S. Ambassador to Russia Jon M. Huntsman, Utah's former governor, should resign his diplomatic post immediately.
> As America's envoy to Russia, I am appointed by the president but confirmed by the Senate.
> I am charged with representing our country's interests, which in the case of Russia are complex and often little understood.
> Representatives of our foreign service, civil service, military and intelligence services have neither the time nor inclination to obsess over politics, though the issues of the day are felt by all.
> Their dedication to service to their country is above politics, and it inspires me to the core.
> As for my sons, active-duty naval officers whom you also call out, I honor their courageous service each time I salute the Marine guards protecting our large embassy compound.
Summary Source | FAQ | Feedback | Top keywords: service^#1 Russia^#2 President^#3 colleagues^#4 Huntsman^#5
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I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
BamBOO!
Theyβre on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Christopher Walken
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
Original post Computershare - A List of all the companies you can invest in by u/New-Consideration420
> "There is a list of all companies but its slow and takes forever to load."
Slow you say? Here is the list of the companies.
Note: This list of companies is likely to be outdated by the time you read this, but as of just before now, this was the list.
reposted complete expanded list here (apparently several of the () empty ticker listings expand into many entries)
- (PVTZZZ) 1ST STREIT OFFICE INC.
- (AIR) AAR CORP.
- (ABT) ABBOTT LABORATORIES
- () ABERDEEN
- (ABM) ABM INDUSTRIES INCORPORATED
- (ACNB) ACNB CORPORATION
- (AYI) ACUITY BRANDS, INC.
- (ADCT) ADC THERAPEUTICS SA
- (AAP) ADVANCE AUTO PARTS, INC
- (WMS) ADVANCED DRAINAGE SYSTEMS INC
- (ADES) ADVANCED EMISSIONS SOLUTIONS INC
- (AMD) ADVANCED MICRO DEVICES INC
- (AEG) AEGON NV
- (AENZ) AENZA S.A.A. - BNYM DR
- (AEP) AEP - AMERICAN ELECTRIC POWER
- (AGCO) AGCO CORPORATION
- (A) AGILENT TECHNOLOGIES INC
- (AGYS) AGILYSYS INC
- (AGNC) AGNC INVESTMENT CORP
- (ADC) AGREE REALTY CORPORATION
- (ALK) ALASKA AIR GROUP INC
- (AIN) ALBANY INTERNATIONAL CORP
- (ALCO) ALICO INC
- (ATI) ALLEGHENY TECHNOLOGIES INC
- (ALLE) ALLEGION PLC
- () ALLIANCE BERNSTEIN
- (ALVR) ALLOVIR INC
- () ALLSPRING
- (GOOGL) ALPHABET INC.
- (PINE) ALPINE INCOME PROPERTY TRUST, INC.
- () ALTERITY THERAPEUTICS LIMITED - BNYM ADR
- (MO) ALTRIA GROUP, INC.
- (ACH) ALUMINUM CORPORATION OF CHINA LIMITED - BNYM DR
- (ALXO) ALX ONCOLOGY HOLDINGS INC.
- (AMZN) AMAZON.COM INC
- (ABEV) AMBEV S.A. - BNYM ADR
- (πππ) πππ ENTERTAINMENT HOLDINGS INC
- (DIT) πππON DISTRIBUTING COMPANY
- (UHAL) AMERCO
- (AMOV) AMERICA MOVIL, S.A.B. DE C.V.
- (AEL) AMERICAN EQUITY INVESTMENT LIFE HOLDING
- (AXP) AMERICAN EXPRESS COMPANY
- (AFIN) AMERICAN FINANCE TRUST,INC.
- (AMNB) AMERICAN NATIONAL BANKSHARES INC
- (ANAT) AMERICAN NATIONAL GROUP, INC
- (AWR) AMERICAN STATES WATER COMPANY
- (ABCB) AMERIS BANCORP
- (ASRV) AMERISERV FINANCIAL INC
- (ABC) AMERISOURCEBERGEN CORPORATION
- (ADI) ANALOG DEVICES INC
- (ANGPY) ANGLO AMERICAN PLATINUM LIMITED - BNYM DR
- (NGLOY) ANGLO AMERICAN PLC - BNYM DR
- (AU) ANGLOGOLD ASHANTI LIMITED - BNYM DR
- (BUD) ANHEUSER BUSCH INBEV SA NV - BNYM DR
- (NLY) ANNALY CAPITAL MANAGEMENT INC
- (ANNX) ANNEXON, I
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
I won't be doing that today!
Where ever you left it π€·ββοΈπ€
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