I just got an 84-inch screen TV for my family. Not gonna lie, it was a pretty good trade.
shoulder this bird, hun.
"This concludes my probaballistic report."
Dante’s in fur now.
The right to die.
To let me know that childbirth is still more painful.
but I'd really prefer to keep my liver.
I think their hearing is gonna be all right.
I just came up w it today and I’m proud of it ok bye
The electric, gas, and water company.
Dr: "Have you tried taking the spoon out of the mug?"
Let that sink in
And he's not letting anyone go home at reasonable hours or take leave until the big project's . He's been working early mornings and late nights . It's been going on for weeks. they're all tired and homesick. I haven't had a meal with him at home all month which really sucks because he was a great laugh at dinner time. Even when I do see him he's too overworked to even think straight.
Anyway, yesterday Phil, one of his workmates had a brilliant plan.
He turned to my Dad and said to him; "I've had enough of this crap, I'm going home and calling in sick for the next couple of days!"
My dad is amazed. "Phil!" he says, "You can't do that - you'll get sacked!"
"Don't worry, mate," says Phil, "I've got it all worked out." tapping his nose. Out of the blue he reaches up and grabs the ceiling fan (It was off) and hangs upside down from it. My dad has no idea what's going on and tries to ask him, but Phil doesn't answer.
Eventually the boss walks in and asks "Phil - what the Hell are you doing?"
"I'm a lightbulb." replies Phil.
The boss is surprised and realises the guy needs to go home and sends him off for a couple of days. All of a sudden my Dad gets up too and walks away.
"What do you think you're doing?" says the boss.
"You don't expect me to work in the Dark do you?" replies my Dad.
He roams around the oceans and does pirate-y things, but he's most known for this one eccentricity: whenever he sees sheet music with anything over a high B, he rips it to shreds.
They call him the Tearer of the High C's
It's there for scale.
they left.
My parents were on one of their first dates back in the day driving down the highway. They passed a sign that said "Plant Entrance"
Dad - "But..where do the people go in?"
Mom still groans to this day when she tells it. She should've known she was doomed
I texted my dad about the coming storm, as he was in town and it would be there soon. He responded back "guess the grass isn't getting cut today then?" So I said "yeah, no grass". He takes the opportunity to respond with "wow, no grass huh? Must be some crazy storm!".
