I was going to add a pun here but can't think of any right now
πŸ‘οΈŽ 149
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Firelord2620
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 04 2021
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Where ever my dad is right now I'm sure he's looking down at me

He's not dead or anything, just very condescending.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 50
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Geofferz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 27 2021
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What is the most sought after nation right now?

Vaccination.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pohpia
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 31 2021
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What's happening in Washington right now needs a name

I propose we call it the "Chicken Coup"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/scamperly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 06 2021
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My wife was fighting me about doing our kitchen in granite or laminate. She finally told me that we just can’t afford granite right now.

I have to admit... it was a pretty good counter argument.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AnInfluentialFigure
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 13 2020
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I think Harry would like an order of wings right about now...
πŸ‘οΈŽ 459
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/horrorhoney
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2020
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I can't think about buying any stupid pure freshly squeezed juice right now.

I need to concentrate.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pirateahoj
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 30 2020
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I told my daughter when she was whining to me about her new boyfriend... β€˜Don’t complain about the road you’re on right now’

That’s your own asphalt

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/superto3
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11 2020
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What is the Inventor of hand sanitizer doing right now?

Rubbing his hands

πŸ‘οΈŽ 61
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Chriller1122
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2020
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The public pool sector must be taking a real dive right now
πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ruzenu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 27 2020
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My grandad used to say "If it wasn't for me, you'd all be speaking German right now" Lovely man, terribly bad foreign language teacher.

No idea why the school hired him.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 69
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/the_houser
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2020
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My phone battery is 69% right now
πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DrTallinn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 17 2020
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Now is definitely not the right time to start surrounding yourself with positive people.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 49
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/_simplepotato_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 02 2020
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I just told my dad that things were tense between me and my BFF right now.

He responded with "Wow. Things are so tents it yurts."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ImHannahGrace
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2020
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I would h8-2 be a Barcelona fan right now
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xiancalloway
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2020
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But that’s not important right now
πŸ‘οΈŽ 993
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/originalripley
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 29 2020
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A little punny poem about love. We all need more love right now :)
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/l17charlie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03 2020
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Why is real estate so big in Sweden right now?

Because they have a good stock of homes.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Foamy07
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 04 2020
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Now to find the right book store
πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/milk-is-bad
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 24 2020
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[Request] Right now we're all drinking Quarantinis. What will we drink when we get back together?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jacopo_tarantino
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 22 2020
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I had a joke about grocery stores but now is not the right time to tell it

I think aisle tell it later

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/crispycrunchybunches
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 19 2020
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People are batshit crazy right now.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sakanak
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 26 2020
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I can't think of a good flower pun right now...

Thistle have to do.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 07 2020
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With all that's going on, I told my dad that finishing my degree in astrophysics may not be the kind of science the world needs right now.

He looked away from the TV long enough to say, "Black holes matter."

Sigh... "Yeah, Dad. They are."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lostehmost
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 12 2020
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What do you call potatoes you can’t eat right now?

Later tots.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jamesonblade
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 01 2020
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It’s probably not safe for me to be driving this car right now.

But hey, bad brakes have never stopped me before.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 04 2019
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Ya know everyone seems to hate the U.S right now, but I honestly think it’s pretty

Sick

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LinguiniiL
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 13 2020
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Want to know why being buried right now would be good?

Because you would be six feet away from everyone

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DL14Nibba
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 23 2020
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Why are football stadiums all around the world really hot right now?

All the fans are at home.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iiToaster
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 23 2020
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We've got pun dog...and now pun cat. You've cat to be kitten me right meow!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NumerikAlpha
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 08 2020
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It's about 20Β° outside right now
πŸ‘οΈŽ 47
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Drainedlmao
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2019
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I feel sorry for New Yorkers right now because of the high number of Corona infected people. Hopefully they're the last to get it. Unfortunate for China though

They got it right off the bat

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/m3m3sRc00l420
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29 2020
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It's night, I'm hungry right now

It's ate a clock.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheCharon77
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 06 2020
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I’m so angry right now, someone broke into my house and stole my limbo stick...

How low can you go πŸ™„

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Baby-Soft-Elbows
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2020
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Some Welding Puns Being Made in r/OSHA Right Now
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MetalliKyle95
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 05 2020
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The cops are chicken into it right now.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 47
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Peepo7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 20 2019
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Right now everyone in Cleveland is taking social distancing very seriously. Even the walkway around the lake is empty

It's Erie

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ButtWeightTheirsMoor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23 2020
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The grocery stores are bare right now besides some greens.

Only the lettuce romaine.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thrillho333
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 15 2020
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There are so many businesses that deliver right now

but I'd really prefer to keep my liver.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DutyMeowForTheFuture
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 06 2020
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Do you know who loves staying at home right now?

Quentin Quarantino

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wolf_cy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 21 2020
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Disturbed must be pretty upset right now.

Nobody’s down with the sickness.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SmallGingerLady
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2020
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I asked Tim Cook what he is cooking right now

An apple pie off course!!!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NitroBlueGem
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 22 2020
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Everyone right now in India is hoarding the flat bread.

It's a naan issue.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bay2boy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 18 2020
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Chick-fil-A is the only safe restaurant right now

They wash their hands religiously

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Simulated_Person
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2020
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You know, I'm sure wherever my Dad is right now, he's looking down on me..

He's not dead by the way, just very condescending.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 29 2020
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