I was going to add a pun here but can't think of any right now
π︎ 149
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
Where ever my dad is right now I'm sure he's looking down at me
He's not dead or anything, just very condescending.
π︎ 50
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
What is the most sought after nation right now?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 31 2021
What's happening in Washington right now needs a name
I propose we call it the "Chicken Coup"
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
My wife was fighting me about doing our kitchen in granite or laminate. She finally told me that we just canβt afford granite right now.
I have to admit... it was a pretty good counter argument.
π︎ 32
π
︎ Dec 13 2020
I think Harry would like an order of wings right about now...
π︎ 459
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
I can't think about buying any stupid pure freshly squeezed juice right now.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
I told my daughter when she was whining to me about her new boyfriend... βDonβt complain about the road youβre on right nowβ
Thatβs your own asphalt
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
What is the Inventor of hand sanitizer doing right now?
π︎ 61
π
︎ Oct 17 2020
The public pool sector must be taking a real dive right now
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 27 2020
My grandad used to say "If it wasn't for me, you'd all be speaking German right now" Lovely man, terribly bad foreign language teacher.
No idea why the school hired him.
π︎ 69
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
My phone battery is 69% right now
π︎ 33
π
︎ Jun 17 2020
Now is definitely not the right time to start surrounding yourself with positive people.
π︎ 49
π
︎ Aug 02 2020
I just told my dad that things were tense between me and my BFF right now.
He responded with "Wow. Things are so tents it yurts."
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 10 2020
I would h8-2 be a Barcelona fan right now
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 15 2020
But thatβs not important right now
π︎ 993
π
︎ Jan 29 2020
A little punny poem about love. We all need more love right now :)
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 03 2020
Why is real estate so big in Sweden right now?
Because they have a good stock of homes.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 04 2020
Now to find the right book store
π︎ 23
π
︎ Jun 24 2020
[Request] Right now we're all drinking Quarantinis. What will we drink when we get back together?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 22 2020
I had a joke about grocery stores but now is not the right time to tell it
I think aisle tell it later
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 19 2020
People are batshit crazy right now.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 26 2020
I can't think of a good flower pun right now...
π︎ 22
π
︎ Apr 07 2020
With all that's going on, I told my dad that finishing my degree in astrophysics may not be the kind of science the world needs right now.
He looked away from the TV long enough to say, "Black holes matter."
Sigh... "Yeah, Dad. They are."
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 12 2020
What do you call potatoes you canβt eat right now?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jun 01 2020
Itβs probably not safe for me to be driving this car right now.
But hey, bad brakes have never stopped me before.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Apr 04 2019
Ya know everyone seems to hate the U.S right now, but I honestly think itβs pretty
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 13 2020
Want to know why being buried right now would be good?
Because you would be six feet away from everyone
π︎ 25
π
︎ Apr 23 2020
Why are football stadiums all around the world really hot right now?
All the fans are at home.
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 23 2020
We've got pun dog...and now pun cat. You've cat to be kitten me right meow!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 08 2020
It's about 20Β° outside right now
π︎ 47
π
︎ Nov 26 2019
I feel sorry for New Yorkers right now because of the high number of Corona infected people. Hopefully they're the last to get it. Unfortunate for China though
They got it right off the bat
π︎ 21
π
︎ Apr 29 2020
It's night, I'm hungry right now
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 06 2020
Iβm so angry right now, someone broke into my house and stole my limbo stick...
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 15 2020
Some Welding Puns Being Made in r/OSHA Right Now
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 05 2020
The cops are chicken into it right now.
π︎ 47
π
︎ Aug 20 2019
Right now everyone in Cleveland is taking social distancing very seriously. Even the walkway around the lake is empty
π︎ 23
π
︎ Mar 23 2020
The grocery stores are bare right now besides some greens.
Only the lettuce romaine.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Mar 15 2020
There are so many businesses that deliver right now
but I'd really prefer to keep my liver.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 06 2020
Do you know who loves staying at home right now?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Mar 21 2020
Disturbed must be pretty upset right now.
Nobodyβs down with the sickness.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 14 2020
I asked Tim Cook what he is cooking right now
An apple pie off course!!!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 22 2020
Everyone right now in India is hoarding the flat bread.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 18 2020
Chick-fil-A is the only safe restaurant right now
They wash their hands religiously
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 14 2020
You know, I'm sure wherever my Dad is right now, he's looking down on me..
He's not dead by the way, just very condescending.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
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