Thor is riding his magnificent steed across the night sky…

He throws out a thunderbolt, raises a triumphant fist to the sky and roars, β€œI’m Thor! I’M THORRRR!”

His horse looks back at him and says, β€œOf course you’re thore, thilly, you’re not wearing a thaddle!”

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/strugglebundle
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2021
🚨︎ report
2 cowboys were riding along and one saw a tree with bacon dangling from the branches. One called out saying "Look a Bacon Tree!" As they went closer to have a look they were confronted with a sky full of arrows. The other cowboy yelled:

This is no Bacon Tree, this is a Ham Bush.

πŸ‘︎ 336
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brendo20
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A man goes to buy a horse (long)

So he finds the man who owns the horse. The owner takes him to the stable. The buyer asks to take the horse for a test ride.

 

"Okay," says the owner. "But I'm a retired church pastor. The horse will only go forward if you say, 'Praise the lord.' He will only stop moving if you say 'Hallelujah.' "

 

Feeling annoyed, the buyer says "That's fine," and he gets up on the horse. After the seller returns to the house, the buyer, mounted on the horse, whips the reins and says, "Hiyah!!" The horse doesn't move. "Yah," he said, spurring the horse. Still no movement. Feeling a little embarrassed and stupid, he complied to the owner's instruction. "Praise the Lord," he mumbled, and the horse began quickly trotting away from the stable.

 

Wow, the buyer thought, excited. I wonder how fast this horse can go. "Praise the Lord," he said, this time at normal volume. The horse sped up considerably.

 

Amazing! I must have this horse! the buyer thought. "Praise the Lord!" he shouted. "Praise the Lord!" And the horse kept speeding up. The stable behind them was no longer visible.

But the horse and the buyer were speedily approaching a huge canyon. Seeing this ahead, the buyer commanded, "St- stop! Whoaaa, horse!" But the horse kept the charge forward. "Hallelujah!" the buyer shouted. And the horse stopped at the edge of the vast canyon, with only inches of ground to spare.

Looking up to the sky, the buyer sighed in relief. "Praise the Lord."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/littlekuribandit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2017
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.