On the eve of a new season, and after the conclusion of Lionel Messi's contract saga (to confirm his inclusion in one of the teams), I wanted to revisit my old post "The Greatest Five-a-side Name Teams." with a more challenging themed XI.
- Formations will vary to accommodate the player names I found using Transfermarkt.
- Only features actively playing/free agent footballers.
- It's almost Friday, lets waste some time at work shall we.
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"Pardon me? How do I spell that." FC
ST: Reza Ghoochannejhad (Free Agent)
RW: Khvicha Kvaratskhelia (Rubin Kazan)
LW: Pierre-Emerick Aubemayang (Arsenal)
CAM: Vidar Orn Kjhartansson (Valerenga)
CDM: Sibusiso Mthethwa (Stellenbosch FC)
CDM: Idildzhon Khamrobekov (Pakhtakor Tashkent)
RB: Narubadin Weerawatnodom (Buriram United)
CB: Sokratis Papastathopoulos (Olympiacos)
CB: Przemyslaw Wisniewski (Gornik Zabrze)
LB: Sime Vrsaljko (Atletico Madrid)
GK: Wojciech SzczΔsny (Juventus)
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Animal Kingdom FC
ST: Marvin Ducksch (Hannover 96)
RW: Leon Bailey (Aston Villa)
LW: Luke McCowan (Dundee FC)
CM: Geoffrey Kondogbia (Atletico Madrid)
CM: Manuel Locatelli (Sassuolo)
CDM: Ruslan Fishchenko (Russia/FK Ufa)
RB: Marius Wolf (Borussia Dortmund)
CB: Antonio Rudiger (Chelsea)
CB: Maximiliano Falcon (Colo Colo)
LB: Morgan Fox (Stoke City)
GK: Bailey Peacock-Farrel (Burnley)
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The "Colours of the Game" Team
ST: Markus Pink (SK Austria Klagenfurt)
ST: Mason Greenwood (Manchester United)
RM: Blue Mamona (US Fiorenzuola 1922)
CM: Alan Browne (Preston North End)
CM: Calum Chambers (Arsenal)
LM: Demarai Gray (Everton)
RB: Ben White (Arsenal)
CB: Cono Goldson (Rangers)
CB: Marcos Rojo (Boca Juniors)
LB: Danny Rose (Watford)
GK: Jamal Blackman (Free Agent)
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The "Wonders of Nature" XI
ST: Ewan Urain (Bilbao Athletic)
ST: Jonas Wind (FC Copenhagen)
RM: James Forrest (Celtic)
AM: Tornado Mongale (FC Azziz Kara)
LM: Crysencio Summerville (Leeds U-23)
DM: Everest Maboto (Free Agent)
CB: Koni De Winter (juventus U-23)
CB: Phil Mooney (Cefn Druids AFC)
CB: Sun-hyuk Jang (Jeonnam Dragons)
GK: Odysseas Vlachodimos (Benfica)
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Hydro Homies
ST: Thomas Stowasser (SSV Jahn Regensburg)
RM: Silvester van der Water (Orlando City)
LM: Alvaro Aguado
... keep reading on reddit β‘Do your worst!
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
It really does, I swear!
Theyβre on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
Buenosdillas
Itβs pronounced βNoel.β
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Why
Nothing, it just waved
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! π Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
βBOOMβ?!
