I just read that times were real tough for musicians in the early 17th century...

They were all Baroque

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/qwopcircles
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My first time doing puns in real life. Ik it's horrible

So today, I had a conversation with my friend while walking home from school. At one point my lace untied and he pointed that out to me while we were walking past a 7eleven. I am horrible at making puns so forgive me. I shall call him J

J: You u should tie up your shoes

Me(pointing to the lays packet in the store): I can't be bothered tying my shoe-lays

J: You should stop spread them all around the "play-se" (place)

Me: Well maybe you should stop lay-zing around and actually study(he couldn't reply to that cuz all he does is lay-ing around aimlessly. Haha! See what I did there!)

Conversation deviates

Me: come follow me to Cheers let's look for a giftcard

J: nah

Me: get your lay-z ass over to cheers u ungrateful bitch! u make my life lays miserables

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZmentAdverti
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
First time I’ve seen a real bobcat in the wild.
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thecatsofReddit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the new game getting released? It’s AI is 20 years ahead of it’s time, graphics are truly real life, an open world concept where anything you want to do is truly possible. It’s called:

Go outside and ride your bike

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jvanzandd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
The first time I ever used an elevator was a real uplifting experience.

The second time was a big let down!!!

πŸ‘︎ 74
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PinkDG
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Just seen a real bear claw for the first time ever,

Those donught shops been ripping me off for years

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oxfordthethird
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Real dad joke story time.

I was in a medieval literature class in college and the professor asked the class, "what can we tell about courtly love."

To which I respond, "well, she wasn't much help to Kurt Cobain."

No one laughed while I beamed with pride at my joke.

πŸ‘︎ 106
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mynickname86
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Son, it is time you hear the truth. Father Christmas and the Easter Bunny are not real. Mum and I bring you the gifts.

Son: I know Mum already told me. She also said that uncle Mike is the stork.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/acbro3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Did I ever tell you about the time I went to see a real guillotine?

But wait, I’m getting a head of myself.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TastefulDrapes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
If two online friends meet each other first time in real world in disco club...

... can we say that they disconnected?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MoralsAreUgly
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Posting one of my daily punny drawings here for the first time, it's a real crapshoot. instagram.com/p/x619p_Gfa…
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/guywhodraws
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2015
🚨︎ report
A girl came into my bookstore and asked "What are the chances you have a book on curing eating disorders with religion?"

Slim to Nun?

(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)

πŸ‘︎ 29k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/megad1rt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I proudly showed my son, "Check this out! Bought a new shrub trimmer today!" He shrugged and replied, "That's great, dad." I continued...

"It’s cutting hedge technology!"

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I don’t usually tell dad jokes.

But when I do, he laughs.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slikisl3git
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I became a father today, but no dad jokes are coming to me. I’m pretty bummed.

Luckily the neighbor hit me with a few good jokes as we got home! Cheered me right up!

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Po1sonator
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
No escape from reality
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve been saying β€œmucho” to my Spanish friend a lot more often lately

It means a lot to him

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DieserBene
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do riot police arrive early to the protests?

... so they can beat the crowds!

Edit: Wow, this is now my second highest upvoted post ever, and it's not even my own joke! Totally should have credited the video I saw this in: https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/h8btkp/protester_has_a_joke_for_the_police_officers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Thanks for the laughs and great comment threads, Reddit :)

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Row199
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, β€œDo you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?” In my best bear voice, I replied...

β€œNo thanks, I’m stuffed!"

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My father was in the army...

And I remember he used to be stationed in exotic places all over the world. Once he came back home with a very exotic looking bird. I asked him what kind of a bird it was and he told me it’s a rare almost extinct species called a Foux (pronounced Foo). This foux was the apple of his eye and he would take care of the bird as if it was his own child. Sometime during this period the Foux began developing a real bad case of constipation and my father was really worried about it. He tried all kinds of medicines to make the Foux pass it’s bowels, but nothing was working. One day, during this period, I woke up to a huge argument taking place between my parents. My mom was accusing him of cheating on her during one of his tours, she had found some pictures of him and another woman and he was denying it vehemently. I realized then that my father had been quite the philanderer and this wasn’t the first time he had been caught. My mom was trying to get him to just admit to his indiscretion.

β€œWhy don’t you just admit it Harry”, she said;

but he stuck to his denial,

β€œYou think I could ever do something like this Sarah”, he said.

Right then amidst all this ruckus, the Foux began to take a dump, in the middle of the living room.

My mom looked at the bird, then looked back at my dad and with a sense of resignation she just said β€œWell if the Foux shits...”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RangaRedRascal
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is 1 = 0 ??

Cos 0 = 1

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Mama Frog was really struggling with her youngest, Little Hop. He couldn’t seem to sit still!

That is, at least not long enough to learn any of the many, many important things a frog needs to learn in order to be a frog.

You see, a frog needs to be super slick in order to get by. A frog without proper skills, well, he may as well be a toad.

Anyways, every time Mama Frog went about trying to teach Little Hop something, he would just bounce.. and bounce.. and bounce..

And every time Mama Frog had reached her limit of patience, right before giving up, she’d say to Little Hop, β€œIf you keep on keepin’ on hoppin around all aimless, I’m gonna turn you into a toad!”

Which, upon hearing, Little Hop would stop his hop and settle. You see, he knew well enough that he wanted no part of being a toad.

Well, on one particular day, during one such lesson, Little Hop had taken again to bouncing here, and bouncing there - and just about everywhere besides a place he could listen! And on this same particular day, Mama Frog’s patience was worn real, real, thin, you see, and she got sudden filled with a terrible frustration.

And just like a firecracker went off, in a sudden snap, Mama Frog turned Little Hop straight into a toad!

And when it was done, Mama Frog looked at him direct, shook her head, and said..

β€œI toad you so.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/martianrome
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.

Still to this day holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the drunk hiker?

Y’know, Johnnie Walker

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Iwantmahandback
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Chris: Hey can I borrow a ten?

Kristen: Sure!

Christen: thank you

Kris: Anytime

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Icy9kills
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
It's important to lose closely at lawn signs during election campaigns....

Last time I cast my vote for a real estate agent.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cumsock17
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
If a soda company wants to release a new flavour

they can

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Santak1ng
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report
[Meta] The real purpose of dad jokes

Back in the before times, when sit-down restaurants existed, I used to order boneless cheese sticks and would just throw the word "boneless" in front of any appetizer with 100% corniness. The purpose of this isn't to make a good joke. It's not a good joke. The purpose is to make my dining companions catch some cringe splash damage and want to crawl into a hole and die out of embarrassment for my being horribly corny.

But there is a real, deeper purpose that I've discovered entirely by accident. People, especially young people, are so self-conscious and worried about saying or doing something embarrassing that it taints a lot of social gatherings. They go to a restaurant and are afraid to speak up even when their order is blatantly wrong. They'll tip well even when the food took an hour to arrive and the server has disappeared into the corn stalks behind a baseball field. It takes 2 hours of hanging out together before some friends finally stop nitpicking themselves, uncomfortable in their own bodies and brains, feeling perpetually judged, and begin to relax. These are the kinds of people who go to sleep every night replaying cringey moments from high school. Their last thought of the day is when the Burger King girl said, "Enjoy your meal!" and they said, "Thanks, you too."

It takes 2 hours and/or a lot of booze before they're comfortable enough to take conversational risks and truly reveal themselves. But if I come right out of the gate with a really dumb joke, then we can cut to the chase. There's less danger because someone in the group already shot themselves in the foot, right off the bat. They pulled a pin on the cringe grenade and then jumped on it.

You cringe at my dumb joke and then we're over the hump. Someone has already done something pretty stupid, so go ahead and order the hubcap of nachos and a massive chocolate shake because nobody is going to judge you poorly while they're all judging me.

In terms of price negotiations (haggling), there is a psychological concept called "anchoring". You throw out the first number and all subsequent numbers are compared to that number. This is the same idea. We've already set the humor standard pretty low at "boneless cheese sticks", so you can say the dumbest shit you want and, as long as it's not worse than my cheesy joke, it won't matter.

This is why, when you were a teenager and your dad took you and some friends out, your dad made corny jokes. He knew they were corny jokes. You and your friends un

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 140
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Permatato
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
When does a joke become a dad-joke?

When it's apparent

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/enkolainen
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Cop: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!

Man: Wait, I can explain everything!

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My math professor was late 16 minutes for the first class, 8 minutes late for the second, and 4 minutes late for the third.

At this rate, he’ll never be in class on time.

πŸ‘︎ 219
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a ghost's boobs?

Paranormal entitties.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lazy-aubergine
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife was really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.

So I packed my bags and right.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kingofthepassel
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My 77 year old dad said this last night

So we were out celebrating my dad’s birthday last night. I said, β€œYou and Mom are healthy and look good for your age. I wish I had your genes!” (I’m adopted.) Without missing a beat, Dad said, β€œYou can have mine if you want, I can barely fit in them anymore!”

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/droppedwhat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Oldie From Facebook
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Martynzer0star
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Dead Oar Alive, You're Coming With Me
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RevGrizzly
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife always prefers the stairs, whereas I always like to take the elevator.

I guess we are raised differently.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Today I insisted that my son had a hole in his shoe. He didn't believe me and kept looking and looking, took it off and inspect it. He yelled "There is no hole in there at all!"

So I yelled back "Then how did your foot get in there!"

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2018
🚨︎ report
β€œHey officer, how did the hackers escape?”

β€œNo idea, they just ransomware.”

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you remember when you were a kid and whenever you cried, your parents would say, β€œI’ll give you a reason to cry!?"

I always thought they were going to hit me, not that they were going to destroy the housing market 20 years later.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Iron Man and the Silver Surfer is teaming up for the next movie to fight crime.

They are alloys.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
🚨︎ report
r/dadjokes is recruiting moderators, join us!

Update: Thanks for all your applications! Give /u/parin89 and I a few days to take a look and confer!
(if you haven't put your application in yet, you've still got time)

-

Greetings /r/dadjokes subscribers,

Years have passed since this sub started up, and there are now literally millions of you. Whoa.

Two million people is just two many two handle for two moderators. Especially these days, when both /u/parin89 and I have two many other responsibilities and a whole lot less time. I'm 200% sure most of you would agree that more mods are needed.

So we're looking for 5 more moderators to get involved. If you're keen to apply, read the rest of this post and answer the three questions in your comment response.

Answer these 3 questions in your reply:

  1. How would you describe a dad joke?
  2. Do you currently moderate any other subreddits? If yes, which ones.
  3. You see a post that is not breaking the rules or reddit's posting guidelines, but is generally disliked by the community. What do you do?

Only apply if:

  • You're a reasonable, fair-minded and patient human
  • You're in it to keep this community a happy, friendly and safe place for other humans
  • You've got previous mod experience from a decent sized community (let's say... 5k+)
  • You're cool with the first few months being a trial run
  • You understand that while we could use more active moderation, and would benefit from a few more rules, one of the things that makes this community great is that it's pretty open (after all, dad jokes repeat a lot and not every "repost" is necessarily an opportunistic attempt to game karma)

We'd benefit from a few practical things as well, it would be great if:

  • You live in a timezone that covers off either the USA, the UK, Australia (we'd like a spread)
  • You've got some automod experience
  • You've got some sub-customisation experience

Don't apply if:

  • You're ready to come out swinging with a power tripping ban hammer
  • You're more concerned about Internet points than real people

We'll leave this stickied for a week and then come back to message a few people and make some selections.

πŸ‘︎ 93
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tali3sin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I recently read that β€œicy” was the easiest word to spell. I didn’t understand at first, but now

I see why.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VikingLord17
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Poop jokes aren’t my favorite kind of jokes...

...but they’re a solid number two.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fatstrat228
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2018
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend with the lazy eye just lost his job as a teacher.

He had a real hard time controlling his pupils.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GhostPotency
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.