I was told to be sure to use the right nails for putting down trim in my house, but I can't find any.
At this point, I'm not even sure Finland makes nails!
I tried to impress a girl by putting my foot down on the pedal.
It turns out she'd seen a bin open like that before.
Putting my daughter down for her nap and she starts shaking her head "no"
I reply "Stop resisting a rest!"
Toddlers... think they are above the law.
My wife was having issues putting a sticky strip on the wall; she swore up and down that it wasn’t sticking because the wall was wet.
I brought over a towel to help her out, but when i got there it was clearly drywall.
What do you feed your kids before putting them down for a rest?
What's the difference between a kid living in china and putting down a sick animal?
One's a youth in Asia and the other is euthanasia.
Putting the dog down. :(
Background: Our family puppy has been wearing a diaper lately before she gets fixed.
As were taking the family picture, my brother is holding the dog like a baby for one of the pics, and my mom says “okay one picture with you holding the dog then were putting her down.” To which my dad responds “Awww, we don’t need to put her down, we just need to get her fixed.”
I swear, I put it down right over there!
I had a happy childhood. My dad used to put me in tires and roll me down hills
Honest LPT: I got embarrassed the other day, and want to help other people avoid making my mistake. Now this might seem counterintuitive, but if you come up with a good dad joke MEMORIZD it and NEVER write it down. Because the moment you put it on paper...
My vet picked up my dog, looked at him and confirmed that he was cross-eyed and that he had to be put down.
Confused and upset, I asked why.
The vet advised he was too heavy to hold any longer.
I was talking to my neighbor's wife and she told me that her dog had bit her husband, so they had to put him down.
Then she asked if I could take out the trash weekly.
Our dog has been a little under the weather so we took him in for a checkup. The vet picked him up, studied him for a bit, sighed and said, "I'm really sorry, but I'm gonna have to put him down." Tears welling in my eyes I sputtered, "Why!? What's wrong with him?"
The vet replied, "Nothing major, he's just really heavy!"
I cut down a Christmas tree today. My wife asked me if I was going to put it up myself.
I said: “Of course not. I was going to put it up in the living room.”
It was so painful having to put my pet dog down today.
I might have to get my back checked out.
A child picks up a piece of chocolate and puts it in the shopping cart. The mother takes the chocolate, as it is unhealthy, and puts it down next to the eggs.
For its unhealthy being, it was in eggs-aisle.
I had a great childhood, I remember my dad would put me in a tire & roll me down the hill all summer.
I asked my boss if he would donate to my organization that provides medical support to Asian children with terminal diseases so they don’t have to be put down.
He hasn’t responded yet, but when he does I’ll find out if he supports youth in Asia.
I’ve just been reading a book about anti-gravity, it’s impossible to put down!
I had to put my foot down today.
My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo
My wife yelled at me, telling me to put the toilet seat down...
Don't know why I was carrying it around in the first place.
I don’t know how you guys get home every night but, I squat down, put my head between my knees and fall forward.
My teenage daughter came home from school and she was blazing mad. “We had sex education today, dad and you lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend will die!” I put down my newspaper, looked at her and said…
“Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will.”
I had to put my cat down
He was just too heavy to keep holding
When I joined the local Grammar Nazi Party, they gave me their logo to put on my car. It's an upside-down, lower-case "e."
You know, a schwa sticker.
My two month old daughter doesn’t like being put down to sleep.
I’m going to try complementing her instead.
I had to put my dog down this evening.
People had enough of me carrying it around.
I put a handful of ants down my pants the other day
It was a bit of an anti-climax
One of my favorite times in my life was when my brothers put me in car tires and pushed me down hills
My wife told me to put the baby down at bedtime
I said, "son, you're never going to amount to anything."
Mom: I hear that John's business is doing a lot better. How did he manage to get enough people to slow down on that stretch of highway to even notice his store? Dad: Oh, he followed my advice and put up a billboard.
"Nude Colony Ahead, Keep Your Eyes on the Road!"
My cat gained so much weight that I had to put her down
My arms got tired but I'll pick her up again later
I had to put my cat down today.
She's overweight and my arms were getting tired.
I had a math test and the bouns question was to put down the first three numbers of Pi to celebrate Pi day.
I guess i would rate this day a 22/7.
Had to put my dog down
Tired of carrying his lazy ass around.
You know, I had such a happy childhood. My dad used to put me in tyres and roll me down the hill.
My wife yelled at me to put the toilet seat down
I can’t even remember why I was carrying it around
I cut down a Christmas tree today. My wife asked me if I was going to put it up myself.
I said: “Of course not. I was going to put it up in the living room.”
My teenage daughter came home from school and she was blazing mad. “We had sex education today dad and you lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend will die!” I put down my newspaper, looked at her and said…
“Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will.”
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
When my wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo I put my foot down
My wife just told me to put the toilet seat down.
I don't know why I was carrying it around in the first place
I was reading a book, I can't put it Down.
"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!"
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
I've been reading a book on anti-gravity
I just can't put it down.
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