Did you hear about the new corn maze the pumpkin patch?

All the critics agree, it's hay-mazing!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clark_creationz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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What do you call a night watchman at a pumpkin patch?

Security Gourd

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brassman1971
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
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On the way to the pumpkin patch yesterday...

...we passed by a cemetery.

My wife says: "Look at all the gravestones! That cemetery is so crowded!"

Me: "Yeah, well people are just dying to get in there!"

I was focused on the road, but I could hear her eyes roll.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sleep_For_Dummies
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2016
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Why did the Jack-O-Lantern go to the pumpkin patch?

Because he had holes in him!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trutek23
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2017
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Went to a pumpkin patch a few weeks ago...

I was A-maize-d by how corny the corn maze was. Definitely not worth the $5.

It did have a lot in common with Dumbo though - it was all ears.

And it did creep me out a bit. Felt like I was being stalked the whole time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/digitaldavis
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2015
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What kind of trees grow near pumpkin patches?

Basic Birches

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DMFPx123
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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How do you fix a broken pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch! πŸŽƒ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shadynasty94
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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How do you mend a broken Jack o' Lantern?

With a pumpkin patch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmperorOfFabulous
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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I’m hoping in the next iOS update Apple releases they include more jack o lantern emojis.

But I don’t want to count my pumpkins before they patch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluemelon555
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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What does a one eyed pumpkin wear?

A pumpkin patch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Synergy_synner
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2016
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How do you mend a broken Jackolantern?

With a Pumpkin patch.


Shamelessly reposted from the Library of Congress twitter account.

https://twitter.com/librarycongress/status/923559845927809026

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atomic1fire
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2017
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When you are carving a Jack O' Lantern, and you make a mistake. How do you fix it?

Dad: When you are carving a Jack O' Lantern, and you make a mistake. How do you fix it?

Me: Sigh What's the punchline?

Dad: You use a pumpkin patch! Nyuck, Nyuck, Nyuck, Nyuck, Nyuck!

(He actually said it like that.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trityler
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2014
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My dad just gave a trifecta of dad jokes all within 30 seconds, and then left my room.

"Why is the ghost ship always lost? Because it has a skeleton crew!"
"How do you repair a broken jack-o-lantern? A pumpkin patch!"
"What do gay cows eat? HHAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY"

I didn't knoe what to say and he just left.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jerry322
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2013
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got wife driving home with fam from a fall festival

Me: "That was fun. I used to be addicted to these things"

Wife: "Addicted?"

Me: "Until I tried the pumpkin patch"

Wife: *silent no-u-didnt stare

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xstreamly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2016
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In the sprit of Halloween...

Dad: How do you fix a jack'o'lantern? Me: I don't know how? Dad: With a pumpkin patch!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Modern_Mongol
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2013
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How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern?

A pumpkin patch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JDangerboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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How do you fix a broken jack-o’-lantern?

With a pumpkin patch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MangoAway17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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How do you fix a broken pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uhavethebiggay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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How do you fix a pumpkin?

Pumpkin patch

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?

You use a pumpkin patch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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How do you mend a broken jack-o'-lantern?

With a pumpkin patch! πŸŽƒ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Armadildont
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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How do you fix a broken pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
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How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?

You use a pumpkin patch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?

You use a pumpkin patch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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How do you fix a broken pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fourbears7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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What do you use to mend a jack-o-lantern?

A pumpkin patch!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cool-kid103
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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How do you heal a broken pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snuggeybug
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?

You use a pumpkin patch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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How do you fix a broken pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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How do you fox a broken pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SerbianTarHeel
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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How do you fix a broken pumpkin?

Use a pumpkin patch!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElmerJ
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
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How do you fix a broken pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ididshave
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2018
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How do you fix a broken pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarlinsBB
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
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How do you fix a broken Jack-o-lantern?

With a pumpkin patch!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToeKneeh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you fix a broken pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coffee_cow
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2018
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How do you fix a damaged jack o lantern?

With a pumpkin patch!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ngathin1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you fix a broken pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J0ethebro
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2017
🚨︎ report
How do you fix a pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marriedwithkids96
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2016
🚨︎ report
How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern

With a pumpkin patch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NomadicVagrant
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2016
🚨︎ report
How do you repair a broken jack-o-lantern?

with a pumpkin patch!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/d4hm3r
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2015
🚨︎ report
How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern?

With a pumpkin patch.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MoetheCigarGuy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2013
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