Prince Sedan Puns

Reading the stories here over the past few months unlocked a hilarious memory I have from a few years ago. Let me tell you about the time my boss tried to pick me up when me and my roommate called into work because of bad weather.

About 8 years ago I got a job at a local hospital in a town I located to in East Tennessee. I had flunked out of college and had managed to secure my first big boy union job at a hospital as a cook. I had worked in kitchens for years, and was ecstatic to be making the princely sum of 13.50 an hour to cook garbage food for sick people to the tune of .98 cents to 1.35 per meal for a company to charge ill people 150+ dollars a day for the audacity of wanting to eat a meal while staying in a hospital. That was the beginning of my radicalization when I found out and quit but that is a story for another time.

When I started, I lived with my parents because duh. A food deliverer I met, let’s call him John for privacy’s sake, and I quickly became fast friends. John was going through a divorce and was looking for some extra income renting out his spare bedroom, and cut me a sweetheart deal in rent. I took him up and moved in around November, about a year after I started there.

I was always the person who would come in sick and work my skin to the bones cause muh work ethic. John also worked for the Teamsters part time waiting for a delivery driver position to open up and was biding his time at the hospital making 9 dollars an hour delivering the meals to the patients. He was literally the first person in my life who made me feel not guilty for calling in, my parents never really did, but I always felt bad calling in because of the work values they taught me from a young age. Great guy. Miss him very much, one of the only things I miss from the beautiful yet backwards country.

One day in January, we had a snowstorm come through. Being from Ohio, I thought no big deal, leave early, drive slow yadda yadda. When we woke up, John said “Hell no, we can’t drive through this shit. Look at my fucking driveway” he was right, he was parked in the garage, I was parked in a flat space at the top, and the driveway was a sheet of ice at like a 20 degree incline. No way anyone could do that.

Snow and ice in the south is just plain different than up north. You can’t drive on ice, and it was straight dangerous to be out even with 2 inches. So he picks up the phone, and calls our manager to call us in. I watch his face light up as he’s telling hi

𝕮𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖉 𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖙𝖍 𝖇𝖞 𝕸𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖓’𝖘 𝖒𝖞𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖈 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑,

𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝕳𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝖘𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖘 𝖍𝖊 𝖒𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖘𝖕𝖎𝖑𝖑,

𝖜𝖆𝖘 𝕰𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖆𝖓: 𝕭𝖊𝖑𝖎𝖆𝖑’𝖘 𝖘𝖕𝖆𝖜𝖓.

𝖄𝖊𝖙 𝕸𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖓 𝖋𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖉 𝖍𝖎𝖒 𝖓𝖔 𝖒𝖆𝖓’𝖘 𝖕𝖆𝖜𝖓.

𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖜𝖎𝖟𝖆𝖗𝖉 𝖚𝖘𝖊𝖉 𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖜𝖆𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖒𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙

𝖙𝖔 𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖘𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖊𝖒𝖔𝖓 𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖘𝖕𝖎𝖙𝖊;

𝖎𝖋 𝖍𝖊’𝖉 𝖞𝖎𝖊𝖑𝖉 𝖓𝖔𝖙 𝖙𝖔 𝖘𝖔𝖗𝖈𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖗’𝖘 𝖘𝖕𝖊𝖑𝖑

𝖍𝖊’𝖉 𝖋𝖆𝖈𝖊 𝖆 𝖒𝖔𝖗𝖊 𝖉𝖊𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖛𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖑.

𝕭𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖉 𝖜𝖆𝖘 𝖍𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖒𝖔𝖗𝖙𝖆𝖑 𝖍𝖎𝖉𝖊

𝖑𝖔𝖈𝖐𝖊𝖉 𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖉𝖊𝖊𝖕 𝖎𝖓𝖘𝖎𝖉𝖊

𝖆 𝖕𝖔𝖔𝖗 𝖒𝖆𝖓’𝖘 𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖉, 𝖜𝖍𝖎𝖈𝖍 𝖘𝖍𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖉 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊,

𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖑𝖊𝖉 𝖍𝖎𝖒 𝖙𝖔𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖉𝖘 𝖆 𝖌𝖗𝖆𝖛𝖊 𝖔𝖋𝖋𝖊𝖓𝖘𝖊.

𝕳𝖊 𝖐𝖎𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖉 𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖋𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖑𝖞, 𝖇𝖑𝖊𝖉 𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖔𝖜𝖓.

𝕹𝖔𝖜 𝕵𝖆𝖘𝖔𝖓-𝖔𝖋-𝖙𝖍𝖊-𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖔𝖉 𝖍𝖊’𝖘 𝖐𝖓𝖔𝖜𝖓.

𝕳𝖊’𝖘 𝖑𝖎𝖛𝖊𝖉 𝖔𝖓 𝖘𝖎𝖓𝖈𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖒𝖔𝖉𝖊𝖗𝖓 𝖉𝖆𝖞,

𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝕰𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖆𝖓 𝖐𝖊𝖕𝖙 𝖉𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍 𝖆𝖙 𝖇𝖆𝖞.

𝕴𝖓 𝕲𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖒 𝖓𝖔𝖜 𝖍𝖊 𝖕𝖑𝖎𝖊𝖘 𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖉𝖊,

𝖇𝖚𝖙 𝖜𝖍𝖊𝖓 𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖘 𝖈𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖔𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖑𝖙 𝖆𝖎𝖉...

####𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖓 𝖌𝖔𝖓𝖊, 𝖌𝖔𝖓𝖊’𝖘 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖒 𝖔𝖋 𝖒𝖆𝖓!

#𝕽𝖊𝖘𝖕𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕯𝖊𝖒𝖔𝖓, 𝕰𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖆𝖓!

Source Key

All feats listed with [Crown of Horns] are done when that fell item’s worn.

[Ley Line] feats are when his might is amplified at Stonehenge’s site.

Feats by [Baby] indicated within his childhood are dated.

>Change, change O form of man. Free the prince forever damned. Free the might from fleshy mire. Boil the blood in heart of fire. Gone, gone the form of man, Rise the demon Etrigan!

#Strength

Striking

Objective

• Knights in plate bar his way and try to slow him down. Without pause Etrigan ploughs through and knocks all to the ground.^(DV1 #1)

• One angry slap is all it takes to cause a woman’s neck to break.^(BotD #12)

• A kick ends with the victim dead^(DV3 #48); separated from their head.^(DV3 #45)

• Head, face, skull, and brains, one punch reduces all to stains.^(BotD #13)

• Twin brutes learn too late to fear hell’s true lord as he bursts both their skulls like two overripe gourds.^(BotD #15)

• [

I love this drama so much! Sorry spoilers ahead...

I love Empress Fuca Rongyin- beautiful and gentle, she's too nice to survive all the jealousies and vicious schemes in the Forbidden City. Forever Wei Yingluo protector.

I love Mingyu - forever loyal and devoted to her masters (first Empress Rongyin and then Yingluo) There were so many happy times between her and Yingluo. I thought she'd certainly would live happily ever after. She looked good in that wedding dress.

I love Lord Fuheng - forever Yingluo's protector (1 of Xu Kai's early work but he did an awesome job). Wish they could end up together, he and Yingluo.. sigh...huhu... Those 2 unforgettable scenes for me: When Yingluo was given 2 choices by the Emperor, before she can go back to serve the Empress again - (1) to tell Fuheng that she never loved him but was just using him to gain wealth and title or (2) to walk the entire Forbidden City in a snowstorm, kneeling every 3 steps. She chose the latter and then had to run into the newly wed Fuheng and Ersing. And when Fuheng came back from his first war victory, escaping death at various times but keeping himself alive so he can ask the Emperor again to grant his request to marry Yingluo. Only to come back and saw her riding in a sedan since she has become the Emperor's consort. Feel so bad for him, always loving her and protecting her until his last breath....that one last question for her: "Wei Yingluo, I've always stayed by your side, would you be by my side in the next lifetime".

And of course I love Wei Yingluo - she continued to amaze me throughout the story. She's smart, kind, brave, loyal and devoted to those who truly love her. Although can never be together, those few glances and smiles, she and Fuheng completely understood each other...that time concubine Shun talked him into eloping with Yingluo, and he said he'd never do that because he knew Yingluo wouldn't want to.

Now Story of Yanxi Palace is among my top 5. are there any other dramas that talk about the Emperor's princes and princesses?

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

The doctor says it terminal.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.