Went to the toilet earlier and took a poo....
Not sure whose it was, but it's mine now.
My son asked me "where does poo come from?" I was a little flustered, but did my best to explain about food, stomach, intestines, digestion, etc.
He looked confused, then stared at me in stunned silence. After a few seconds he asked "And Tigger?"
What do environmentalists worry about when they poo ?
Whether to save water or to save trees.
Many Folks Don’t Know that Santa Often has to Clean the Small Bits of Poo from his Reindeer Butts.
They call them Jingle Berries.
What’s the cleanest type of poo?
My three year old girl asked me, "Where does poo come from?" I was a little uncomfortable but decided to give her an honest explanation, so I explained, "You just ate breakfast, yes?"
"Yes." she replied.
"Well, the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, then whatever is left over, comes out of our bottoms when we go to the toilet! And that, is poo!"
She looked a little perplexed, stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds and asked, "And Tigger?"
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
What did people say when they saw Jesus poo?
Poos are so hard to draw [OC]
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
What do you call the poo of a fish whose parents aren’t married
So I was taking a poo this morning..
.. and my SO knocks on the door. She says, "Hey you need to hurry up, I've got a mountain cat situation out here."
Confused, I replied "What does that mean?"
She said "I'm a puma pants."
This German shepherd comes has a poo on my lawn every day !
Yesterday he brought a dog along
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
The substance you wash your hair with isn’t made from real feces, it’s fake. You could say it’s sham poo.
What do you call it when a Mycenaean ruler has to poo?
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today
Can you be here at Poo-Thirty?
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
I tried to explain to my little girl that it's perfectly normal to accidently poo your pants...
She didn't buy it, she's still making fun of me.
If I washed my hair with fake shit, would it still be considered sham poo?
Came out backwords / at a loss for words / just one big bowl of soup / proper punctuation: the colon / man,ure on a roll / just stirring the pot / poo-lease stop / can't. IOU potty humor / Y you say that? / It's fun, butt OK - mind my P's and Q's - I'll put lid on it
I wasn't gonna tell the host that I considered wearing a t-shirt covered in poo to his party.
But in the end I decided to come clean.
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
my friend stood in some poo
thats fowl he shouted! looks more like dog shit to me.
I stepped in a fresb, steaming pile of dog poo today...
I was wearing my Crocs. Whadda croc o' shit.
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
My wife told me she was going to get me some poo pourri
I asked her, "what is that?"
She said, "it's stuff you spray in the toilet before you go so it doesn't stink."
I said, "that's un-bowel-ievable."
What do you call Abe Lincolns poo?
Poo-related dadjoke at work!
My cube-mate was standing on a stool in his office and commenting how awesome it was to be so tall. Everyone was cracking jokes, and I asked, "Hey, do you suppose I could get a sample to try out?"
"... A stool sample?"
The other coworkers got it and laughed, and the one standing on the stool just laughed with us but apparently didn't get it, because a minute later he then hung his head and started laughing as well.
One of my proudest achievements at work!
Watch That Dog Poo!!!!
"Why? Does it do tricks?"
Changing my baby's poo diaper
My son always ninja rolls out of my grasp when he shits his pants. From that point on he is known as "Poopacabra".
Went to the bathroom and took a poo....
....not sure whose it was, it's mine now.
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