Went to the toilet earlier and took a poo....

Not sure whose it was, but it's mine now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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My son asked me "where does poo come from?" I was a little flustered, but did my best to explain about food, stomach, intestines, digestion, etc.

He looked confused, then stared at me in stunned silence. After a few seconds he asked "And Tigger?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ez-pz-lemon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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What do environmentalists worry about when they poo ?

Whether to save water or to save trees.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Piyush3000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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Poo jokes...

... are funny shit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdamSonOfRandor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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Many Folks Don’t Know that Santa Often has to Clean the Small Bits of Poo from his Reindeer Butts.

They call them Jingle Berries.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SchpeederMan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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What’s the cleanest type of poo?

Shampoo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JumpinJaccFlash
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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My three year old girl asked me, "Where does poo come from?" I was a little uncomfortable but decided to give her an honest explanation, so I explained, "You just ate breakfast, yes?"

"Yes." she replied.

"Well, the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, then whatever is left over, comes out of our bottoms when we go to the toilet! And that, is poo!"

She looked a little perplexed, stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds and asked, "And Tigger?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo

After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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What did people say when they saw Jesus poo?

Holy shit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RioZX
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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Poos are so hard to draw [OC]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/True_DragonLord
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.

I must be missing some bowels.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marvinli
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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Com-poo-ter
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrSigmaNut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back

They did a crap job

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nmd351
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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What do you call the poo of a fish whose parents aren’t married

A bassturd

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pickledust465
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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So I was taking a poo this morning..

.. and my SO knocks on the door. She says, "Hey you need to hurry up, I've got a mountain cat situation out here."

Confused, I replied "What does that mean?"

She said "I'm a puma pants."

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/r_plantae
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2018
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This German shepherd comes has a poo on my lawn every day !

Yesterday he brought a dog along

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
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I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.

It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrumSpace
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.

It becomes pooblic domain.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gustavo6046
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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The substance you wash your hair with isn’t made from real feces, it’s fake. You could say it’s sham poo.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/idkwhatevsqwert
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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What do you call it when a Mycenaean ruler has to poo?

Acrapolis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigPeneMcgundy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
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Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today

Now I have turds

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshkiba13
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
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What would Jesus Poo?

Holy Sh!T.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AHighTeddy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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Can you be here at Poo-Thirty?
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
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A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.

He suffered from turd debris burns.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2018
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I tried to explain to my little girl that it's perfectly normal to accidently poo your pants...

She didn't buy it, she's still making fun of me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fukhed69
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2018
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If I washed my hair with fake shit, would it still be considered sham poo?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sycsa
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2018
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Came out backwords / at a loss for words / just one big bowl of soup / proper punctuation: the colon / man,ure on a roll / just stirring the pot / poo-lease stop / can't. IOU potty humor / Y you say that? / It's fun, butt OK - mind my P's and Q's - I'll put lid on it
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πŸ‘€︎ u/barwhack
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2017
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I wasn't gonna tell the host that I considered wearing a t-shirt covered in poo to his party.

But in the end I decided to come clean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?

Officer on doody!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fureddit1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
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...and a happy poo year?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/happyamosfun
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2017
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my friend stood in some poo

thats fowl he shouted! looks more like dog shit to me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andy_kg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2018
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I stepped in a fresb, steaming pile of dog poo today...

I was wearing my Crocs. Whadda croc o' shit.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2017
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I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.

It's not much, but business is picking up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBuccaneer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2017
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My wife told me she was going to get me some poo pourri

I asked her, "what is that?"

She said, "it's stuff you spray in the toilet before you go so it doesn't stink."

I said, "that's un-bowel-ievable."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/foobish
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2015
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What do you call Abe Lincolns poo?

A Lincoln log

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rancidjelly
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2017
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Poo-related dadjoke at work!

My cube-mate was standing on a stool in his office and commenting how awesome it was to be so tall. Everyone was cracking jokes, and I asked, "Hey, do you suppose I could get a sample to try out?"

"... A stool sample?"

The other coworkers got it and laughed, and the one standing on the stool just laughed with us but apparently didn't get it, because a minute later he then hung his head and started laughing as well.

One of my proudest achievements at work!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSRTgreg
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2014
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Watch That Dog Poo!!!!

"Why? Does it do tricks?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mazemace
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2015
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Changing my baby's poo diaper

My son always ninja rolls out of my grasp when he shits his pants. From that point on he is known as "Poopacabra".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Label083
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2015
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Went to the bathroom and took a poo....

....not sure whose it was, it's mine now.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report

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