Do you know what plays jazz and has a job?
My friend developed a video streaming app that rejects every choice you make, and plays random Russian videos instead
So I just found out that Chad Kroeger from Nickelback, loves to taking part in Nativity plays. He’s been a shepherd, the inn keeper and one year, he even played the rear end of the donkey...
But he never made it as a wise man
I hit my piano, and now it only plays Pachelbel, Vivaldi, and Bach
I guess I must’ve baroque it.
My new car only takes me to broadway plays and musicals.
Got the car back from the garage today and the radio now only plays Bible Verses.
Turns out they installed a Catholic Converter
I discovered a small closet that plays loud techno music, has black lights, glow sticks and man it gets hot quick.
Apparently it's a Microrave
What do you call it when a teacher watches his class as they take a test and plays online poker at the same time?
My friend April is very playful, April laughs, April plays, and, of course,
What's the difference between a woman who plays Fortnite and a lesbian mermaid?
One's a gamer girl, the other's a gay mer-girl
What does the Cattle Rancher say when he plays Poker and goes All In?
My friends an astronaut and plays in a band.
One day before his show I told him to rocket.
What do you call a boxer that retires and plays video games?
A lot of William Shakespeare’s plays were based off of old Greek and Roman performances
That's playgarism if you ask me
A danish, a cornbread piece, and a croissant plays Dungeons and Dragons
I guess you can say they are roll playing ...
What is yellow and plays hockey?
A play on words enters a room and stabs a dozen people. Only two survive.
A few cows were smoking weed and playing poker.
The steaks were high that night.
Played Skyrim the other day and I couldn’t help but notice the huge collection of gold and jewels amongst the undead…
Talk about wight privilege!
I played chess against my computer and won by forfeit. Want to know how ?
I kept ignoring the low battery alert.
I just played my first ever game of chess and I tried to move that castle shaped piece diagonally.
I was playing blackjack at the casino and the dealer let me pick my own cards.
A couple of cows smoked a joint and played cards.
That’s right. The steaks were pretty high.
An airline pilot is playing hide and seek…
He was hiding in plane sight
My kids were playing pool upstairs when I heard something heavy fall and roll across the floor.
Whenever I go to put my earbuds in and play my favorite Men at Work album, somebody always interrupts.
My wife can home to find I decorated our halls with playing cards and asked why?
I told her I decked the halls.
I was pissed when the kids refused to listen to me and stop playing inside our chimney.
I said, “fine! Soot yourself”
My wife wanted to spice it up in the bedroom last night and role play a cop
So anyway that should explain the crutches and my black eye.
I asked my son to play more Vivaldi and Chopin.
I told him he needed to think outside the Bachs.
My dad taught me how to play yahtzee and farkle.
I couldn’t have asked for a better roll model.
My grandmas are still so active and play in a marching band.
If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping pong and he died, what would they put on his coffin?
When I’m feeling upset I surround myself with an NES, SNES, XBOX, a WiiU, and a PlayStation.
I hear the Holly and the Ivy playing today
It's actually nothing like Mambo No. 5
what sport starts with a t, has 4 letters and is played all over the world?
A kid and his dad are playing cards...
The kids tells his father "Dad, I'm bored" The father then pulls out a box and says "are you sure you're not card board?"
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek
Einstein is seeking and begins counting to thirty.
While Pascal hides in a bush, Newton simply picks up a stick and draws a square into the dirt around himself.
Einstein immidiately finds him, saying "Found you, Newton!" To which he replies:
"Oh no, dear colleague. A Newton per square meter is a Pascal."
I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "let's make this interesting."
So we stopped playing chess.
Why is it impossible to play hide and seek with Pokémon?
Because they always Pikachu
There’s a vicar playing golf with his friend John. John misses a three-foot putt, and he says: “Damn it, I missed the bugger”
The vicar tuts and says “John, if you say that once more then God will open up the heavens and send a thunderbolt to strike you dead”.
But then John misses a two-foot putt, and he says: “Damn it, I missed the bugger”.
So, the heavens open, a great big thunderbolt comes down and strikes the vicar dead - and God says, “Damn it, I missed the bugger”.
I was playing my guitar and accidently snapped the G string
I don't know why my tutor makes me wear one to be honest.
A chair, toilet set, bench, and stool walk into a bar and decide to play poker
It was a game of thrones.
My friend and I played a game where we hit each other with a red vegetable and I kept losing…
Why is it always a bad idea to play hide and seek with mountain ranges?
My friend developed a video streaming app that rejects every choice you make, and plays random Russian videos instead.
A couple of cows were smoking weed and playing poker.
A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards.
You can say the steaks were pretty high.
A couple of cows were smoking weed and playing poker
A play on words enters a room and stabs a dozen people. Only two survive
A COUPLE OF COWS WERE SMOKING A JOINT AND PLAYING CARDS.
THAT'S
RIGHT. THE STEAKS
WERE PRETTY HIGH!
A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards.
Yup, one can say the steaks were pretty high.
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