What do you call pizza rolls on cooked bread?
I was on a roll with this post.
Elton John rang me this morning & asked if I wanted to buy a Rolls Royce.
I asked what reg?
So he shouted DO YOU WANT TO BUY A ROLLS ROYCE?!
You know, over in Jamaica a slice of pizza will cost you $2.50!
But over in Barbados, it's only $1.50! But carful getting in from the Maldives, it's only $1.75, but people will try to take it right off your plate!
Anyways, those are just the pie rates of the Caribbean!:)
Daughter: Dad, can you pause the movie so I can grab a snack.
Dad: (grabs the cats paws and pushes them) Sorry, I'm pushing pause but it's not working!
What did Dean Martin say when he saw eels on a pizza?
Did you hear the joke about the pizza?
Forget it, it's to cheesy
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie...
After doing my morning crunches, I ate an entire pizza.
I consider it an act of abnegation.
Whats a Sheeps favorite snack?
My Hawaiian pizza burned!!
Next time I have to cook it at aloha temperature
A pirate walked into a bar with a roll of paper towels on his head...
So, I asked him: What’s up with the paper towels?
The Pirate said: Aarrr, I have a Bounty on my head
When I was a kid, having fun was simple, we just rolled down hills in old tires..
Yes..those were the Goodyears.
Order synonym rolls.
They have fewer calories than cinnamon rolls and taste the same.
Why does the Pope keep a roll of Mentos in the torso of his robes?
Because those are his vest mints.
Why does Scooby doo roll Shaggy’s joints?
Shaggy’s joints don’t stay together, but Scooby’s Doobies Doooo!
I was on a roll when I made this
What is a ducks favorite snack?
Cheese and quackers
(My kid made that up last night)
Making Pizza Sauce makes me nervous...
I can’t deal with strained tomatoes
rock and roll puns are so lit.
The 14th Dali Lama walks into a pizza shop and says...
"Make me one with everything."
edit: cant edit title for grammar :(
Today on a walk my son was asking about a bunch of plants and stuff, he pointed to one and I said it was a fungi.
Without missing a beat he asks "Daddy, do you know how much room you need to grow Fungi like that?"
I did not know.
So he tells me "as Mushroom as possible!"
So proud.
"Dad, why do scuba divers roll backward off boats?"
"Because if they rolled forward, they'd still be in the boat."
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint.
Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
When I was younger I had to work in a cheap pizza shop to get by.
My wife rolled her eyes when I flexed my biceps, but I impressed her by taking my shirt off and flexing a second time.
What does pizza become after you eat it?
I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!"
"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
My pizza cutter broke so I used a Bryan Adam’s CD.
I challenged my son, "Take 4 and subtract 2 from it. What’s left? Rolling his eyes, he sighed, "2." I yelled, NOPE!"
What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?
How do you make a sausage roll?
Back in 2005, my father used to roll me down hills in an old car tyre...
I accidentally burned my Hawaiian pizza.
Should have used aloha temperature.
My son made that one up. Proud poppa here!
Wanna hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
Want to hear a joke about a pizza
Do y'know why divers roll off the boat backwards?
If they rolled forwards they'd still be in the boat!
What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?
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